Russian humor

Colleagues at work ask a woman: - What do you think? To the point look and don't even talk to us. Received from her husband a text message: "stale Pancakes, could only eat 2 pieces". Here I sit now and...

Our officials went to exchange experience abroad. Them well taking over sitting in the bath thumps Hennessey. Our in shock from such a reception. - Where are the funds? - There you see the bridge? - Yes - There's a car across the bridge went, she brought a dollar to our table...

Rain. Dirt. General is going into the army. The road sees a stalled truck part. Well, okay, so be it - need help. Climbed into the chauffeur and began to push. Carting in the mud, but the truck pushed...

Discussed with the husband the topic of salaries: - Yes, for the money I paid, I should just come to work and do not strain. Would pay 30 thousand - could be at least half a day of hard work. 40 thousand - the whole day would have worked and even leftist are not distracted... - And if 50? Without lunch would have worked and in the evening was delayed... And if 60? - On the weekends to go out! - But if 100 thousand?! The husband, thoughtfully scratching his head: - And if 100, I would have been head and do nothing at all...

There is a new Russian in a Swiss Bank: Bros, give the year a loan of $ a hundred. - Please, under three percent per annum, and the required Deposit. - A lot of problems. Here at the door of the 600-th "Mercedes" worth it, here are the keys. Got the money and left...

Standing on the side of the highway, a police officer sees a car traveling at a speed of 25 kilometers per hour. He sits in his car, stops the car and sees inside five pale older women with wide open eyes. The one behind the wheel, sheepishly asked: — We did not exceed the speed limit: twenty-five miles per hour! Trying not to laugh, the policeman explains that 25 is not the speed limit and the highway number...

He runs a herd of wild boars in the forest. Suddenly out of the bushes comes a hare podborany and says: Fat, stand. Boars shocked stop. Hare: Fat, there are problems? Boars heads harassed, they say no. The hare all the way through: — Bacon — piled here! Boars dump. The next day everything repeats. Wild boars in shock that this went to the wolf complained and the next day a herd of wild boars running through the woods together with a wolf...

The fishermen go to the lake. On the way to greet an old grandfather. — What, grandpa, there are fish in the lake? — Yes, where do she go! Spent the whole day at the lake — caught nothing. Return — the same grandfather...

Grandfather worked in a slaughterhouse. Well, the meat and dragged myself through the checkpoint, hiding, somewhere. Passion and grandfather loved fried calf's udder, and so on passing not caught - hiding in my pants. Well, after another change back home, with a good piece in the pants, and the pants were on the buttons. Well, he has one of the buttons unbuttoned (and maybe he did and forgot to button it) and one calf nipple fell out. And then he goes home, happy in transport. Meter maid, noticing...