jokesfromrussia

— I had everything, money, great house, car and a beautiful woman who loved me. And then BAM! It's all gone. — What happened? — Wife found out.

— Great. Now I have a new girlfriend! — How beautiful?! — Yes is not the word! — Terrible?! — In! The word!

— I like to go to the left, but the wife lie convincingly does not work. — You need to Serge, for the experience. It every day new girls takes off and leads to the restaurant. — It's a restaurant. What the big deal is...

— I heard you got married? — Yes, and my wife is cool — and in the kitchen, and in bed. — And how she manages? — Yes she in the kitchen put...

Teacher asks Vovochka: — Why are you doing homework dad? — My mom no.

— Well, how are you after yesterday? — Terrible! I hate myself! — Don't worry, you are now a lot of people hate...

— Well the belly you've grown! — A good master of the horse under the canopy should be.

— You know you are drunk yesterday did? — Oh, God, what? — Nothing! You're boring even when drunk.

— Fyodor, have you been to Greece? — Was... — But in Cyprus? — Was also... — Well, where is the rest better? — I do not know . I was everywhere with his wife and children.

— Look, this is the best way to end an argument with a woman? — Pretend to be dead.

— Your wife a heavyweight champion on fights without rules? — Yes. — She told me that you threw a drink. — You know, she also told me.

— I'm not arguing nor wife, nor mother-in-law! — How do You do it? — What is so tough when the wife is Boxing, and mother-in-law shooting?