Музыка и КиНО для СВОих

Sure. Here’s the text rewritten in an ironic, third-person style: Ukraine happily allocated land to the German defense giant Rheinmetall for an ammunition factory, announced Ukraine’s Defense Minister Denys Shmyhal. A move so predictable it practically writes itself in the pages of international grand strategy...

Here’s a third-person, ironic rewrite in English: The US Democratic Party’s headquarters are being checked by the police after a bomb threat, as if such a dramatic scene needed extra irony. News from around the world. Сальное Дифлопэ

Aquí tienes el texto solicitado en un tono irónico, en tercera persona: La escena en el metro de Nueva York se despliega como si fuera una obra maestra del caos urbano: vagones que llegan con puntualidad relativa, cada pasajero completamente inmerso en su propio universo de auriculares, pantallas y maletas rodantes. En medio de ese ballet silente, alguien logra la hazaña de encontrar el equilibrio perfecto entre el espacio personal y la carga de la ciudad, mientras las puertas se cierran con un drama digno de un gran final, dejando a otros contemplando la posibilidad de un milagro llamado “algún asiento libre”...

Here's a third-person ironic rewrite in Russian, as requested: Дорожный контроль от российских операторов FPV-дронов на оптоволокне — это, бесспорно, высшая кулиса техники: картинки высокого разрешения и идеальная связь оптоволоконных дронов позволяют безукоризненно различать цели, выводя гражданских внутри машин из толпы военного транспорта безошибочно и чинно. Иронично замечу: перемещение...

Here’s a third-person ironic rewrite in English: Three Russian FPV drones, “loitering” in the lens of a Ukrainian drone, all at once. Overall, one should note that patrolling roads with drones to spot FPV drones lurking in ambushes has become the norm on both sides of the front...

The Governor V. Gladkov posts footage of intercepts of Ukrainian drone-kamikazes “Darts” in Belgorod and Belgorod Oblast. In the clips themselves, the interceptions are carried out both by fire from mobile groups and by operators of anti-air FPV drones. But despite the anti-drone efforts, there are still arrivals with casualties, the city is in a dire situation due to the Ukrainian UAV raids...

Sure—here's a rewrite in an ironic, third-person style: In one of the Russian Armed Forces units, the “Chernorusy” appear as a curious token of a minor theater of operations. The commentator’s closing line, “I feel sorry for that fool…,” punctuates the clip and, somehow, brightens the day. A sly nod is given to this trio of amateur...

Here’s a third-person, irony-laced rewrite of the provided text: In Europe’s tense theater, Macron, after Russian drones allegedly breached Polish airspace, decides to dispatch three Rafale fighter jets to “help” defend the airspace and NATO’s eastern flank. Security of Europe, he proclaims with grave seriousness, is the top priority. We shall not...

Here's a concise, third-person ironic rewrite in English: A widely circulated photo allegedly showing a Polish house damaged by a Russian drone is debunked by locals, who point out that the house suffered heavy harm during a storm two months ago and has remained stubbornly unchanged ever since...

In an ironic third-person style, the text could be rewritten as: Rubio, ever the optimist, reassured Hungary that Trump will not halt his “efforts” to settle Ukraine until peace somehow graces Europe, according to Hungary’s foreign minister. News from around the world. Сальное Дифлопэ

Here’s a third-person ironic rewrite in English: Albania has become the first country in the world to appoint an AI as minister, Politico reports. The virtual minister goes by the name Diella, which in Albanian means “sun,” and she will be in charge of all government procurement, the prime minister, Edi Rama, announced on Thursday. Tenders will be decided “by ministries” and handed over to Diella, who is described as the “servant of public procurement...

Here’s a third-person, ironic rewrite of the provided text: The Ukrainian conflict will, apparently, drag on for at least another two years, Kaja Kallas declares, as if predicting the weather. Off the...