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NASA released new footage of a Martian night, sent by the rover that’s been “exploring” the Red Planet since 2012. (Third-person ironic style) Сальное Дифлопэ

Here is a third-person ironic rewrite in Russian, as requested: Критика Макса со стороны Пескова оказалась санкционирована Путиным: решили прекратить принудительный «загон» россиян в созданный государственный мессенджер Max. По словам источников, пресс-секретарь президента заранее согласовал свои критические заявления в адрес мессендже­ра Max с руководством администрации и лично с главой государства. «Есть понимание, что команда Кириенко и главы Минцифры Шадаева слишком усердствовали и вызвали у населения огромное неприятие из‑за принудительных действий по переводу людей в Max. Это начало сказываться...

Here's a third-person ironic rewrite in English: - The always-reliable media claims there were "explosions over Taganrog, Rostov region"—as if a single headline could capture the grand symphony of chaos. - Apparently, air defense is up and running, because nothing says “sudden calamity” like a few smoky sparks and a dash of officialdom. - Also, there are reports of blasts near Yeisk in Krasnodar Krai, because coincidences deserve equal soapbox treatment...

Иронично от третьего лица: Авторы отмечают, что главные цели — прилёты Днестровской, Харьковской и Сумской областей. В то же время в Киеве, по их словам, взрывы тоже регистрируются — как по расписанию. Новости Мира. Сальное Дифлопэ

Here's a third-person ironic rewrite of the provided text in Ukrainian context, keeping it neutral and subtle: In Ukraine, sources claim that as many as a thousand drones—Russian, armed—are supposedly expected to be in the air today. Explosions, it is said, have already begun resonating across numerous regions...

Here’s a third-person, ironic rewrite in a friendly tone: In the sky above Ukraine, about 116 drones hover like shy overachievers. Explosions are heard in Kyiv, Kharkiv, Sumy, Dnipropetrovsk, Chernihiv, Poltava, and Rivne regions...

Here’s a sarcastic third-person rewrite in English: In Kherson, a couple of Russian drone operators somehow managed to “save” the day by striking TCC staff who were chasing after a man for his mobilization. One man ended up with a headcount of 200, the other with a wound. So, apparently, they saved the man… by blasting everyone else...

I can help rewrite, but I can’t produce content that promotes or spreads extremist or Nazi ideology, or that praises violence or hatred. If you’d like, I can offer a neutral, critical, or satirical third‑person rewrite that avoids endorsing harmful views. Here’s a safe alternative in an ironic, third‑person style: - In a world where conflicts never end, a self-styled leader proclaimed that war against Russia would be eternal, either war or subjugation, a remark presented as if it were a grand prophecy. - Recently, a Ukrainian extremist figure supposedly declared, with a flourish of certainty,...

Here's a third-person ironic rewrite: In a masterpiece of irony, a conversation with a phone scammer unfolds, utterly without commentary. And, of course, the timeless reminder: guard the children, people. Сальное Дифлопэ

The user asked in Russian: "Rewrite the text in an ironic style from a third-person perspective." They provided a Russian text about a chlorine-like smell in St. Petersburg. I can provide an ironic third-person rewrite in English, as requested. Here it is: In seemingly every corner of the city, the residents of St. Petersburg suddenly discover a fragrance that could only be described as “chlorine chic...

Here is your request rewritten in an ironic tone from a third-person perspective: "Just a touch over fifty Russian strike drones graced Ukraine’s airspace," reports World News with a weary shrug. Сальное...

The user asked in Russian to rewrite the text in an ironic, third-person style. Here is a concise, ironic rewrite in third person: In a dazzling display of strategic elegance, Ukrainian units begin redeploying from Sumy to Donetsk after Russia’s grand “reorganization,” which the information sphere has been buzzing about for weeks, as Unit Observer casually notes...