Cool psychologist

I was recently asked about "whining" and how to fight it. To begin with, if you look at different dictionaries, we can find out that the word "whine" refers to persistent pain or monotonous, monotonous complaints. People often define whining as complaints that last longer than they would like. Or whining is an unpleasant conversation with sad overtones that is directed at them. Whining is often a form of manipulation that shows that a whining person is in an unpleasant position, feels bad, and in general is in any way bad...

I regularly advise people to do meditation here, at least 15-20 minutes to practice. But the same people perceive this council as an attempt to avoid solving their problems. I don't want to talk about a hard childhood, but I send it to the Buddha. Moreover, there are those who believe that meditation is for the foolish wimps, and to do it is not to respect oneself. However, meditation is useful. And not only at the level of reasoning about the eternal and philosophical. Changes occur in the brain, which have a very positive effect on the state of physical and mental health...

Apart from the subpersonalities, there are many other things remarkable in a person's personality. For example, the phenomenon of self-identification. In fact, this is a phenomenon or an object to which we not only relate, but also include them. On the one hand, nothing terrible happens. We must somehow estimate how much and what suits us and how we treat it. We go to certain shops, parks, restaurants and for us it is not just a part of our lives. We buy things and meet people, and they become not just objects and bodies, but something more important to us...

As long as they don't write, as long as they don't talk about dyslexia, there are still people who think that if a child can't learn spelling and reading, he's a moron. There are those who express thoughts as if a disclecticism is absolutely unsuitable for qualified work and mistakes in spelling speak about its total mental unsuitability. Citizens can list the names of celebrities with dyslexia, but they usually call it excuses. Well, this is a well-known situation now in the Internet. If a person...

The reasons for emotional dissatisfaction in a relationship can vary. This includes the difference in emotional level of 2 people, and the personal disorder of the partner, and emotional violence. However, the most common reason for this is the emotional inaccessibility of one of the partners. There's no villainy of another member of the couple. It's about the low empathy inherent in this person. But this is not about autism, Asperger's syndrome or a schizoid personality. Such a person is born...

People often complain that relationships do not work out because of trivial reasons. There are wishes, there are plans, but they never express them, because... Well, they don't know why. That's not going to say out loud what you want. At the same time, it is very desirable that the people around you somehow guessed. And if they don't guess - byaki. Or I am byaka myself, since people do not satisfy my needs. This is usually followed by a heavy breath and "this is how we live". Or "Well, why, that's life...

Another clarifying post. In the post about aggression, and then in answers to questions, quite often there were remarks that it is possible to forgive and forget everything and somehow to solve disagreements by talking, if you are chased by an axe. I briefly said in the first text that the search for spiritual wounds and circumstances of the obvious aggressors who want to cause you emotional and physical harm (that is, they do it on purpose, and are well aware that it will make you feel bad) do not make sense...

Everybody blames me for being the one writing about bad moms. Why not the bad dads? It's just some kind of discrimination. Don't worry, comrades, it's not just moms who are bad. I've already talked several times about choosing topics on my blog. Basically, questions are raised that are discussed with my clients. Well, somehow it was better and more frequent with my moms. So this is about Dad. A little retreat. Now I will immediately clarify the direction of the conversation to avoid unconscious emissions...

The discussion of necessary and unnecessary advice gently flowed into the field of criticism and the degree of its necessity in the life of each person. People exchange information like all living beings on earth. Even bacteria communicate with each other using certain chemicals. They tell their neighbors in the microbial colony what's going on outside their population. Like food, oxygen, enemy bacteria and viruses. There is a lot of talk in psychology about messages - "mutual strokes". These are situations where we tell each other that we are pleasant and accepted by each other...

We all need to be accepted. Yes, yes, we are all the same pack animals and we want to live surrounded by people like us and not just live, but be important to the group, be connected to it. Being kicked out of the group is scary. If you live alone, you will either be trampled by a mammoth or eaten by a cave bear. And no one will help you. Of course, there have been tribes and peoples in history. In Sparta, weak babies were killed, and there were societies that got rid of the sick and weak, like ballast, which only the tribe eats, but does nothing...

Many people think that the world is filled with cheeky and aggressive people. However, no less than a proportion of the world's population is made up of so-called "nice people". They are cute in their upbringing, which forces them to be like that, but in fact, their compliance and gentleness is harmful to themselves. Some of the "nice" people realize that they lose a lot because of their character. I want to do a lot in life, but the "decent upbringing" does not allow. Others recognize their cute character by the texts and the words of experts, and are horrified, is it really so...

One of the challenges of the job is that people do not let themselves escape from their trauma and problems. I think we've come to work, and there's not much progress. Everyone is walking around the bush. There are people who do not go anywhere to decide anything, because you can not solve anything. In many cases it is not a force of circumstances. Yes, everything in the world cannot be fixed. The point is that we need to start living somehow, so that nothing happens or happens. For example: For...