Tasty ideas

If you’ve ever purchased—or tried to purchased—Starbucks’ oft-sold-out sous vide egg bites, you understand their appeal. They have a velvety, almost creamy interior, with—at least in the case of the bacon & gruyère variety— a distinct cheese flavor infused right in. They’re decadent, and if you started any sort of Paleo or keto-type diet in the new year, you may have identified them as a reliable grab-n-go option. Scrumptious as they are, they’re not without their problems. The aforementioned scarcity...

It’s no secret why burger chains like Shake Shack, In-N-Out, and Smashburger are having such a moment. Their thin, moderately-sized burger patties show a deep and abiding understanding of what makes a good cheeseburger: a reasonable portion size, seamless integration with the bun and toppings, and of course lots and lots of salty, crispy, cracklin’ burger crust. I’m not saying that thick, pub-style burgers with minimum crust and maximum unseasoned cow mush don’t have their place; it’s just that...

The hot dog enjoys an outsized reputation among pre-cooked, tubed meats. Vienna sausages are peak divorced-dad food, and no one’s excited for Lit’l Smokies unless they’re wrapped in pastry dough or smothered in a mix of chili sauce and grape jelly. But hot dogs, despite being functionally the same, are something most of us actively look forward to at cookouts and sporting events. And while unquestionably delicious, hot dogs are about the lowest-effort food you can “cook”: tubular extrusions of smashed bovine bootyholes that don’t technically require any cooking at all...

As a nation, we’re good at doing things not necessarily well, but doing them a lot. This manifests in our politics, and also in the way we eat, as evidenced by our collectively expanding waistlines. It follows then that our attempts to trim those waistlines are also incredibly extra, just absolutely insane things that no one else raised in any other normal, healthy culture would do. There’s nothing too extreme for the American dieter, whether it’s unnecessarily punishing workouts or diets that cut out entire macronutrients that have sustained humanity for millennia...

If you hate green beans, there’s probably a good reason why. Your green bean experiences likely involved someone absentmindedly opening a can of green beans and throwing them in a saucepan on the stove. Maybe they were french cut (or not), and whoever was cooking threw in a few lardons of bacon (or not). Either way, you ended up with, mushy (possibly bacon-y) sadness. You also may have tried your hand at fresh-cut green beans lovingly sautéed in butter. You spent hours (possibly days) trimming...