ColourfulLine

Even though no feelings were left, she kept on thinking about him. 'What if I had done it differently...' But she knew that she wouldn't. No other way was possible in their story. It was meant to end like that. No happy ending. No growing old together. No happily ever after. Just long and torturing pulling strings of each other's hearts. Not trying to hurt each other, more like trying to prove that 'I am ok without you'. Not trying to win the race, more like trying to survive it. Even after the race was over long time ago. They were meant to end like that. They knew their relationship had an expiration date...

She was sitting on the balcony staring at the brightest star and couldn't keep her eyes off. The wine glass in her hand make her think that she looked very elegant and mature, even though it was only the warm feeling that the wine brought her covering the sharp corners of her puerile naive but already severely damaged soul. The star seemed to be calling her. it  was wispering her something that was definately of great importance but the noise of tumbling thoughts didn't let her hear everything. All she could catch was 'empty........away.........stop.........next.....' She couldnt make any sense out of it...

New Year, new aims, new beginnings, new resolutions... old habits, old routine, old swamp of thoughts... people's judgements, your linear decisions... Nothing seems to match. Life seems to be just a chain of ramdon events, meetings, meaningless one-day friendships, hot coffee that gets freezingly cold too fast and a piece of chocolate to make all this mess more or less bearable. The constant struggle of what we are with what we are supposed to be is endless. Freud mentioned that fight long time ago, but we dont want to listen to the wise man (propably because lots of what he said was proved to be complete bs, but thats a different story)...