I guess this is the time to start expressing my thoughts in English. It is already strange for me, because I think in Russian and writing in English is unnatural for me. I recently attended a book presentation by a professor where she mentioned that talking in English is more like talking through a glass for her. I totally can relate because whenever I talk in English with my family who are ironically English speaking I always feel like my words will not reach them. Also whenever I express my emotions it is also unnatural because I feel like I am not able to fully express them. If I am angry I tend to keep it because I don't know the words to describe my anger. For jokes the situation is much more dramatic. Maybe I should try to watch some comedy shows and learn the humour. I just know that when I was in UK, I had zero troubles with talking to people and was making friends left and right I felt like meeting any new person is an adventure, my mind was open and eager to absorb new things unlike now I am slow to process information. In UK I was talking to people and was interested to know them while here I avoid them and do not even try anything new. Is it because I am back in my home country that environment is affecting me in a way that I feel inconfident and uninterested, but I lived in KZ for all my life and how come I am inconfident in my own country?