Inside: It’s empowering to figure out your core values. You live on purpose by walking out your values in every season. This post includes my favourite Wise Woman exercise which can help us begin with the end in mind.
I want to live on purpose in every season, and every day of my life. This is why I use three key filters for every decision I must make and when sifting through all the shiny ideas and opportunities of life.
I use these when I need to resolve internal conflict. And I use them when I set my course for each new year at my annual birthday visioning week. You’ll notice that I highlight these filters on my Life Visioning Flowchart in this post.
My 3 key filters are:
Core values are simply an expression of True Self in the world.
Before I say more, I want you to know that I have a workshop designed to help you identify your core values AND learn how to apply them to life in meaningful ways. It includes 2.5 hours of teaching with helpful resources and 2.5 hours of discussion. You’ll find the Core Values Workshop here.
In my experience, once we identify our core values, they remain stable throughout adulthood. We may not feel certain about our values until we are in our Summer Season of life. Or for some, you may simply not have even thought about this until your 40s or your Autumn Season of life when you meet and befriend your True Self. Or this may happen way later in life. It’s never too late to start!
We all tend to hold many values but it’s important to identify our CORE 5 VALUES. I also believe it’s helpful to name our TOP TWO VALUES IN EVERY SEASON. Our values serve as the primary filter for every decision we make in life. Therefore, narrowing the focus helps us show up with intention and integrity. Too broad of a focus (for example, not narrowing your values list down to your top 5) will leave you feeling more scattered, potentially distracted, or even buffeted about by what’s happening in life or the world.
When identifying your core values, start by simply reading through lists of values (I’ve provided two below). Then circle those that feel very important to you. Next, slowly refine and reduce your list until you can identify your top 5. You may group many things that you value under one heading. For example, you may have circled health, wellness, nutrition, and self-care and realize that they all fall under the heading of ‘mind-body wellness.’
Core-Values-List-192-Personal-ValuesDownload
printable-list-of-valuesDownload
Core Values Workshop
Your core values are an expression of your True Self. They help you build a life and world you want to live in. Identify your core values and learn how to apply to them to resolve conflict, make decisions, set goals, and more.
BEGIN WITH THE END IN MIND WHEN FIGURING OUT YOUR CORE VALUES or meet your wise woman
If you are doing your best to live consciously, intentionally, then you are hopefully already filtering through your core values without even realizing it.
But what if you have not been living intentionally? If this is true for you, as you do this work to figure out your core values, you may be dismayed or surprised to recognize how you’ve been living according to someone else’s standards of ‘success.’ Or that you have been jumping through hoops trying to fit in or prove your worth. Release judgment – we’re all in progress. We’re all simply practicing. And now is a perfect time to begin again.
A question that can help us figure out our core values is “at the end of my days, how will I know that I have lived well?” Our response can help us begin with the end in mind. Work backwards and craft a life that will help you arrive at the end of your days and know that you have lived well and on purpose. This podcast episode may feel helpful.
Another way to explore this is to get to know your Wise Woman or “Wise Self.” Your inner Wise Woman is the older version of you, down the road – the you in your second late autumn and winter season of life. This can be a powerful exercise and even when you’re living clear on your core values, as I am, you may want to revisit this exercise at major life transitions or seasonal shifts.
Crone-or-Wise-Woman-Exercise-2024Download
Here are some further ideas for exploring your core values:
Notes on finding your core valuesDownload
is it a core value or a goal or a mind-body-spirit intention?
You may notice that some words you circle are more a goal or intention for the current season you’re in, rather than a lifelong overarching value. Or some may be what I call “MIND-BODY-SPIRIT INTENTIONS” for the year at hand, rather than core values.
For example, let’s say you’re in a season of rebuilding mind-body-spirit strength after a long, dark winter season of life. You may know that the word “strong” or “strength” feels super important to you.
But as you imagine what this means to you personally, what it looks, sounds, and feels like to you, you realize that this is not really an overarching value for your entire life, but a desire/need/goal/choice for THIS SEASON of life, or this year.
- Our core values provide guidance for our whole lives. They provide stability and clarity that take us to the end of our days and help us live a life true to ourselves.
- The 3-5 mind-body-spirit intentions we select stem from our core values, or help us walk out our core values this year, and direct us through the next 12 months. I choose mine at my birthday each year.
- A goal or habit on the other hand, moves us closer to our mind-body-spirit intentions (these are also always values-aligned). And they narrow our focus for 3-12 months. An intentional habit can help us practice imperfect action to achieve our goal. Sidenote: we may have longer-term goals/dreams/vision, of course, but we need to break them down into more manageable action steps if we want to make progress on them.
A word is just a word until we attach personal meaning to it
You will need to do your best to whittle your list to 5 values and try them on for size. You don’t need to ‘do this perfectly.’ Walk them out for a few months and notice if anything feels not quite right. Once you set your intention to find your values and show up curious to life, you’ll begin to notice nuances of words or experience. Or you may notice where in life you tend to feel friction; friction can point us toward a leaky boundary or a core value. Either way, it’s good information.
Humans are meaning-makers, story-tellers, and we have the gift of a powerful imagination. We need to engage our senses and imagination when figuring out our core values. It’s also best to do this when naming our mind-body-spirit intentions for the year. A word is just a word (like an experience is just a neutral experience) until we attach meaning to it.
Think back to the earlier example of rebuilding mind-body-spirit strength. 50 people could choose the word strength or strong as a value or an intention for the year. And each person might have a different idea of what that means for them.
So as you sift through different words, and as you walk out your list of core values, I invite you to imagine what each word looks, sounds, and feels like for YOU. How do you show up to relationships and work when you are “strong”? How does this value or intention impact how you spend money? What media you consume? How you talk to and about yourself? What about the people you allow into your circle of impact? If you cannot create a vivid mental picture, it will be difficult to really live it.
Can we Have different values for personal life and work?
The short answer is yes, we can have different core values for our personal life and our work life or business. The company you work for, or your own business, has its own culture and mission or desired impact. This may be expressed through specific core values that help guide decision making and how everyone in your business/company/work place shows up.
For many small (or micro) business owners, like myself, there is a lot of crossover between work/creativity/service. This means that the same values may be at the forefront in all aspects of life.
My personal core values are Freedom, Integrity, Curiosity, Brave + Compassionate Community, and Purpose/Contribution. On the list of core values for A Life in Progress (see image below), you can see that there is a slight variation. My value of Purpose/Contribution is split into the values of Embracing Paradox and Seasonal Living. This is because my practice and work around these two areas is a key way that I walk out my personal sense of purpose.
While my personal values haven’t shifted in decades and likely won’t, I am open to shifting my business/work values over time if that feels needed/helpful. My work/sense of purpose may shift course over time or shift in expression.
what does it mean to ‘walk out our values’? Or how to live on purpose
I often talk about walking out our values and living on purpose. They’re tangled up together for me. I’m not particularly concerned with finding a life purpose. I am far more interested in living on purpose.
When I walk out my values, I live on purpose. I can always walk out my values no matter what else is happening in my body, in my life circumstances, or in the world around me. In this way, our core values serve as a lifeline or anchor in the storm, and in every season. They act as a lantern to light our path. As I shared earlier, they serve as filter for decision making. It’s empowering to be so clear on our core values that we move through life feeling rooted and resilient.
It’s never too late to do this work. I work primarily with women from their 40s to their 70s. And it’s always helpful and hopeful to figure out our core values and then use them to handcraft a life that feels like home.
You are welcome to ask questions or ask for clarification!
Krista xo
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