Sample Essays with Band Scores
You can also view some sample essays that have been written by candidates practising for the test and have band scores and comments by an experienced ex-IELTS Examiner based on the IELTS marking criteria.
IELTS Band 8 Essay Samples
These are IELTS band 8 essay samples that have been given grades (of 8 or 8.5) and basic comments on the score for each criteria by an experienced IELTS instructor.
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Topic: Health & Diet (Band 8)
Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health and diet. Others however believe that governments should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Nowadays an increasing number of people are becoming concerned about their health and the quality of their diet. There are two diametrically opposed opinions on the matter. Some people believe that each and every individual is responsible for their own health while others state that it is the government that must ensure that the citizens have healthy eating habits.
Personally, I believe that people bear full responsibility for their diets for a number of reasons. First, nowadays there is a vast variety of products that everyone can choose from, ensuring a balanced diet consisting of different types of products with sufficient vitamins, proteins, carbohydrates and fats. Everyone can balance their diets according to these factors and also based on their taste preferences. For example vegetarians will prefer beans rich in protein while omnivorous eaters might opt for meat instead. Secondly, while governments cannot considerably vary in their healthy eating programs usually adhering to 'one size fits all' approach, individuals know exactly what they need in order to keep fit and healthy both generally speaking and in terms of food. We take tailored approach as we know exactly what we need to succeed in life, be strong and healthy.
However, others argue that the government is fully responsible for the kind of food its population consume because they make decisions regarding the quality of food their country produce and import as well as prices. For instance, in many developing countries people rarely have access to high quality food, thus being forced to choose something cheap like fast food. Moreover, the government can introduce legislation as regards to what kind of food can be promoted, seen for example in many European countries where the advertising of fast food, alcohol and cigarettes is prohibited. These measure, it is argued, can affect the way we eat and control the diets of the whole population.
In conclusion, while the governments may play a role in the choice of food of its citizens, it is still the responsibility of every individual whether to eat healthy diet or not due to many reasons being that a variety of methods to balance their diets or their finances. After all our life is in our hands!
Comments
Task Response: 8
The question is answered and ideas are well-supported. Both parts of the question are fully addressed. Some parts are not given quite enough explanation and the logic appears faulty. For instance, the statement that developing countries depend on fast food. The essay should also not end with an informal comment such as "After all our life is in our hands!"
Coherence & Cohesion: 8
This IELTS band 8 essay sample is well-organised with a mix of transition signals and some good use of referencing and substitution. However, there are slightly too many transitions in initial position to get a 9 e.g. first, for example, secondly. These need to be more sophisticated. There is a danger with this that it could be awarded a band 7.
Lexical Resource: 8
There is a good mix of relevant topic related vocabulary of a high level, an excellent awareness of collocation, and plenty of evidence of less common vocabulary. However, there are some errors which would prevent a 9 e.g. "...cannot considerably vary in...".
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8
The writer has a very good grasp of grammar with a good mix of complex sentence and forms, with a very high level of accuracy. However, a few errors persist that prevent a 9 e.g. a missing article in "We take tailored approach" and "whether to eat healthy diet..." and a missing plural 's' in "These measure...".
Topic: Professionals Working Abroad
(Band 8)
An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries.
What problems does this cause?
What solutions can you suggest to deal with this situation?
Nowadays more and more professionals that play a key role in the social stability and development, including in the spheres of education and medicine prefer to find a job in more developed countries that provide more opportunities. Evidently, it creates a deficiency and lack of professional help in the above-mentioned spheres. This essay will address the problems such situation causes and conceivable solutions to redress it.
The most serious problem associated with the drain of the experts in vital areas of life is the consequent shortage of specialists and hence, lack of professional help for citizens of poor countries that can lead to deterioration of the conditions of life. It goes without saying that it is the work of these specialists that is absolutely essential for the survival of people. For example, if professional, qualified doctors leave their poorer countries in search of a better life it leads to a deterioration in the medical help available and in some cases even considerable life losses and decrease of life expectancy. Therefore, local communities and the whole society are seriously affected by such changes in the labour market.
To redress the balance in such a situation there must be serious measures taken by the government. Considerable funds are to be invested in these spheres to contribute to the improvement of work conditions and salaries of different professionals. For example, governments might stimulate young professionals by paying them additional bonuses for working in public hospitals and schools or fund their education. This, in turn, will create better chances to retain stuff and boost the morale of experts, who might choose to stay in their countries in order to contribute to its growth and development.
To conclude, it is apparent that a great number of specialists, especially young ones, opt for working in more developed countries and this trend is unlikely to change in the foreseeable future. However, governments can try to solve this problem by allocating more funds and invest more in the enhancement of working conditions for specialists. Were they to turn a blind eye to the current situation, it would have a pernicious effect on their countries.
Comments
Task Response: 8
Both problems and solutions are addressed in the essay, and ideas are extended and supported. The ideas though in each body paragraph could have been explained more succinctly, providing the opportunity to add further supporting ideas, rather than the just one that appear in each body paragraph. Reducing the length of the introduction and conclusion would help to achieve this.
Coherence & Cohesion: 8
Generally coherence and cohesion is very good in this IELTS band 8 essay sample but there could be more variety and more sophisticated cohesive devices used i.e. 'for example' is used twice.
Lexical Resource: 8
An excellent range of vocabulary, mostly used correctly and appropriately However, a few minor errors persist, such as using 'stuff' instead of 'staff'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8
The IELTS band 8 essay sample overall has very good grammar, but there are still a few grammatical errors or the wrong choices. For example, "Considerable funds are to be invested" should be "Considerable funds should be invested" and there are also some errors with punctuation, such as missing commas.
IELTS Band 7 Essay Samples
These are IELTS band 7 essay samples that have been given grades (of 7 or 7.5) and basic comments on the score for each criteria by an experienced IELTS instructor.
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Topic: Migration to Cities (Band 7)
Young people are leaving their homes in rural areas to work or study in cities.
What are the reasons?
Do the advantages of this development outweigh the drawbacks?
The comparison of standards of the cities and small town or villages has been always a debate. Recently, teenagers choose to live in the cities rather than their home villages because of school or job opportunities. This essay will discuss multiple reasons behind this trend and explain why the advantages of being in a city do indeed outweigh its drawbacks.
There are several reasons to desire living in urban areas. Firstly, it gives people an opportunity to study in better schools which cannot be found in rural areas. Since in the modern world education means very much for people’s future, it is crucial to have higher education degrees for those individuals to find well-paid jobs. In addition to that, city life provides people with completely different experiences than their home villages. Thanks to the schools, work or social gathering places, they get to meet a greater number of people from all around the country compared to their rural towns which is crucial for one’s personal development. Lastly, in the cities, not only they get bigger number of job options, but also they can earn larger amount of money. It is very well know that job market is significantly limited in the villages also the current jobs barely pay enough.
It is clearly seen that benefits of leaving villages outweigh its few number of deficits. It is worth to mention that people face some issues, such as being away from their extended family, more competitive and challenging job market, and substantially more expensive living cost, when they move to the cities. Advantages like learning and exploring new experiences, getting a better education leading to a better paid job and having an interesting career, however, surpass the number of the drawbacks of this development.
To conclude, there are various reasons for young generation to leave their homes to live in the cities and this movement’s benefits easily outweigh its disadvantages.
Comments
Task Response: 7
The question is answered and ideas are supported. The benefits have been discussed in body paragraph one - the drawbacks would need to be given a bit more discussion in the second body paragraph in order to achieve 8 or 9. As the question clearly indicates that there are drawbacks, these should be given adequate attention.
Coherence & Cohesion: 7
This IELTS band 7 essay sample is well-organised with a mix of transition signals and some good use of referencing and substitution. Slightly too many transitions in initial position in body paragraph one.
Lexical Resource: 7
There is a good mix of relevant topic related vocabulary of reasonably high level and a good awareness of collocation. More uncommon words and phrases would be needed for a band 8.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7
Good range and mix of complex sentences and forms, though some grammar errors are evident, particularly in the latter part of the essay.
Topic: Lack of Leisure Time (Band 7.5)
In some countries young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard on their studies.
What do you think are the causes of this?
What solutions can you suggest?
There is no doubt that having some leisure time during studying reenergizes the brain to continue working efficiently. However, students in some countries are under extreme pressure to study hard and therefore, they have minimal leisure time. The possible reasons for this trend as well as suggested solutions will be discussed in details.
One possible reason for students to face a lot of pressure to work hard on their education with no time off would be the high cost of education. For instance, expensive courses put a financial burden on families and students which forces the students to try hard to complete these courses successfully and quickly. As a result, these students ignore the need for some spare time and focus on their study work. Another possible reason would be the amount of study materials which is becoming extensive for a short semester. Consequently, this pressure leaves no choice for students except to study as hard as possible to be able to finish this material on time. Thus, it is obvious that these students have no time left to have some leisure activities.
However, some solutions could be suggested to help solve this problem. One possible solution would be reducing the cost of educational courses in these countries by government fundings. By doing this, both the students and their families would have less financial pressure and therefore the students could be less stressed during their studies which might enable them to have some free time. Another solution would be study groups, if students study in groups, then each one of the group members could summarize part of the curriculum and shares it with the rest of the group. This would save a lot of time for all of the students in the group and as a result the amount of pressure would be reduced. These suggestions could help the students to have some leisure time which is important for them to stay focused.
In conclusion, there are many reasons that put the students in some countries under stress and pressure to study hard and leave them no time for leisure activities, however, the above suggested solutions could tackle this problem and allow the students to have some study free time which is essential for them to recharge their energy.
Comments
Task Response: 8
It’s a very good essay that is clearly organised and answers the question. It presents a well-developed response to the question with relevant, extended and supported ideas.
Coherence & Cohesion: 8
Ideas and information are sequenced logically in the IELTS band 7 essay sample; all aspects of cohesion are well-managed; paragraphing is used sufficiently and appropriately.
Lexical Resource: 7
Though there is good use of vocabulary and only a few errors, there is not enough evidence of skillfull use of uncommon lexical items to merit an 8.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8
Uses a wide range of structures; the majority of sentences are error-free; makes only very occasional errors or inappropriacies.
Topic: Dangerous Sports (Band 7)
Large numbers of people participate in sports that are extremely dangerous.
Why do you think people do this?
How can the risks of participation be minimised?
Today many games are being played all over the world. Some of them are extremely risky and life threatening. Despite of these facts their popularity is growing and many people are playing such games on a professional level. This essay will identify the reasons why people are playing such life threatening games and provide some practical approaches to minimize the risk associated with these games.
First of all we need to find out the reason why such dangerous games are becoming so popular. To start with, the major attraction for players is good money that could be earned from a single game in just one day. This type of quick money increases stimulation among many players to adopt games such as boxing, wrestling, bull riding etc. Perhaps, fame and popularity is another compelling reason that encourages people to choose certain games. Furthermore, its proven that it is human nature to accept challenges and do things differently. Many players love to accept challenges and they want to astonish the world by their unique talent and skills.
As these games are now being introduced in the world and many people are joining them it is important to reduce risks by introducing some policies and procedures. For instance, anyone who wants to participate in particular games would not be allowed to play it until he/she deemed hundred per cent competence in required skills and knowledge. Secondly, it is important to endorse high quality personal protection equipment and training to combat risk associated with games.
In conclusion, excellent level of policies, procedures and training are integral part of treating the risks associated with such games.
Comments
Task Response: 7
All parts of the task are covered in this IELTS band 7 essay sample, a clear position is presented. Some main ideas are a bit generalised and would need to be more specific to reach an 8.
Coherence & Cohesion: 7
Essay is logical with a clear progression. A range of cohesive devices are used. Each paragraph has a clear central idea. Some more sophisticated cohesive devices would be needed for an 8.
Lexical Resource: 7
Sufficient range of vocab and some less common vocab used, but some errors in word choice / formation prevent a band 8.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7
The IELTS band 7 essay sample overall has very good grammar, but there is an error in quite a few of the sentences. Most are quite minor but a couple of very noticeable and the candidates need to take care with this to avoid a drop to a 6.
Topic: Reading & Writing Skills (Band 7)
Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones for communication has a negative effect on young people's reading and writing skills.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is often said that the Internet's creation in the nineteenth made easier the way in which people could learn, work and study. The use of computers and mobile phones was seen at first as a democratization of knowledge, culture, and books. However, I think that this primary ideology was totally wrong following the side effects and trajectory and use of these devices. Indeed. I do think that computers and mobile phones for communication have a negative effect on people's reading and writing skills, especially for young people.
First, young people have been raised with mobiles and computers. The problem is that most of the content shared on computers and mobile phones, especially because of the use of social, are videos, images, and emoticons. For example, to get informed of the news, people used to communicate with others, write letters to people who were informed of the situation, or read newspapers before the Internet was created. Today, most -if not all young people are being informed by watching videos on the Internet and socials. As a result, we can attest that young people are getting used to a virtual world made of videos and images.
But not only are newspapers concerned, but also all kinds of information. Indeed, when young people, especially students, needed to find information for a school project they were confronted with what a lot of young people are "reluctant to" today: opening a book, an encyclopedia. Indeed, many young people are being disinterested in books as computers and mobiles are making on-web research easier and faster. Young people are, as a result, reading less and hoping to find quickly a piece of information instead of reading an entire article about it. For example, who reads an entire book about a country to communicate with someone from another country when they can just find a short article about the culture they are trying to know better?
Nevertheless, writing skills are also strictly damaged by computers and mobiles. Because we are more connected to people thanks to computers and mobiles, we increase the process of talking with everyone, everywhere, the fastest as it can be. Before, thanks to the use of letters, people had time to think about what they would write and how they would like their text to be perfectly spelled and well written. Not only letters but also phone calls would help people develop their writing skills as you could not use abbreviations and slang as people do every day by texting. A single image-a yellow face called a smiley- can replace dozens of words if not more. People are developing slang, image, videos, and GIF language instead of writing what they feel, think, and want to say in a text.
Also, vocal messages become a threat to reading and writing as these two skills are becoming useless in computers and mobile communication. In addition, creating a technology through which users of these devices are enabled to dictate a sentence that the mobile will write in a text makes people even more unskilled in writing and reading.
To conclude, the prominent use of mobiles and computers for communication has numerous negative effects on young people's writing and reading skills. Indeed, it keeps them away from reading and especially writing because of vocal messages and the creation of slang. Communication becomes a way for people to tell what they have to say without thinking about what they are writing and saying.
Comments
Task Response: 8
Generally a very good answer with lots of support. I think it would be better without this:
"Also, vocal messages become a threat to reading and writing as these two skills are becoming useless in computers and mobile communication. In addition, creating a technology through which users of these devices are enabled to dictate a sentence that the mobile will write in a text makes people even more unskilled in writing and reading".
You don't explain what you mean about vocal messages. It's not really clear what the overall main idea of this paragraph is.
Coherence & Cohesion: 6
It's a shame as this could have been an 8, but you have this errors in body para 3 - "Nevertheless". This is an additional negative idea, not contrasting information. For 7 and up there can be over/underuse of CC but there shouldn't be errors in use. An examiner might perhaps overlook it and give you 7.
Also as I said that last body paragraph is not great for CC.
Lexical Resource: 8
Mostly very good grammar but there are errors - an example:
- use of social - should be 'social media'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7
Mostly very good grammar but there are errors - some examples:
- newspapers concerned - newspapers can't be 'concerned', not sure what you mean here.
- are being disinterested - should be "are disinterested".
- Indeed. I do (comma, not full stop)
Topic: Job Satisfaction (Band 7.5)
Considering that adults spend much of their lives at work, having job satisfaction is extremely important.
What factors contribute to job satisfaction?
How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all employees?
In this essay, I will state two main factors that contribute to job satisfaction, namely fulfillment and flexibility, and explore possible reasons why job satisfaction, although certainly an objective for many, cannot be achieved by all.
Though many companies advertise their employees as satisfied and content, it is undeniable that this cannot always be the case. Few people would believe a manager saying that their factory workers are satisfied. I believe this has a lot to do with the factors that determine job satisfaction. For instance, in most cases, in order for someone to be satisfied at their job there must be something for them to succeed in, be it a personal or shared goal. The factory example works perfectly: people working in a factory hardly find a purpose in what they are doing different to generating a stable monthly income.
Flexibility is a second element to be taken into consideration. What is meant by this is not flexible working hours, though those can certainly help too, but rather a chance to do and work on different tasks or projects and maybe even a possibility to scale them. This allows for a use of different skills, or a space to learn them, and constant new stimuli. Unfortunately, many jobs do not offer this kind of opportunity, resulting in repetitive and forced labour and effort.
In conclusion, there are many ideas to be developed when talking about factors influencing job satisfaction, such as flexibility and fulfillment, and if some jobs offer both, the vast majority offers neither, which makes it impossible for every employee to experience satisfaction at their jobs.
Comments
Task Response: 7
Nearly an 8 but I think a bit more detail and explanation could be given to some of the ideas and perhaps a few more ideas of support. For instance more could be explained about why or what jobs don’t have flexibility. A band 8 or 9 also is likely to be able to write a bit more.
Coherence & Cohesion: 8
It’s well organised and all aspects of cohesion are managed well.
Lexical Resource: 8
Generally very good use of vocabulary with few errors.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7
You have good grammar here but I think in certain places it could show a bit more sophistication/complexity. For instance, I showed you above where a complex pronoun would be better as without this the sentences look a bit choppy and short. And this sentence sound a bit awkward with two ‘ands’: “resulting in repetitive and forced labour and effort.”
IELTS Band 6 Essay Samples
These are IELTS band 6 essay samples that have been given grades (of 6 or 6.5) and basic comments on the score for each criteria by an experienced IELTS instructor.
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Topic: Wages of Entertainers (band 6)
Some people believe that entertainers are paid too much and their impact on society is negative, while others disagree and believe that they deserve the money that they make because of their positive effects on society.
Discuss both opinions and give your own opinion.
The entertainment industry is one of the largest sectors in all around the world. Some think that the people who work in that industry earn too much money considering their bad influence on society, and I agree. Others, however, believe that their positive impact on others is worth the money that they are paid.
On the one hand, there is no doubt that show business is an enormous and unfairly well paid sector. In addition to that, members of it do not add real value, compared to others like, for instance, education workers. Although in some countries teachers live with unreasonable wages, their responsibility, is extremely valuable for next generations become better people. Whereas a singer can earn double their yearly salary from one concert. The other important point is, for a balanced and equal society, the difference between income levels must not be very high. Regardless than their contribution, no one should make billions of dollars that easily, because that imbalance does have a significant negative impact on societies.
On the other hand, some people think that entertainers’ contribution to the modern life is worth the money they earn. It can be understood that for many people, watching a movie or going to a concert is irreplaceable with other activities; therefore, they think that their positive impact is crucial for a significant proportion of people. In addition to that, celebrities do compromise their privacy and freedom with being known by many others. In exchange of that, they do deserve a comfortable life with significantly better paychecks.
In conclusion, despite their minimal contribution with their work to the people and sacrifice from their private life; I believe that their impact is far from being positive and they are not paid fairly or balanced with others.
Comments
Task Response: 7
Both parts of the question are fully answered and there is a clear position and opinion presented. But some of the support loses focus and generalises too much. This can be seen in the last part of body paragraph one, which just states there are negative impacts again but does not say why.
Coherence & Cohesion: 6
Fairly well-organised but there are some issues with CC. For instance 'in addition' does not fit in body paragraph one so early as the topic sentence has yet to be explained. The thesis would be better with the opinion at the end.
Lexical Resource: 6
An adequate range of vocabulary but there are inaccuracies and mistakes with word forms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6
Good range and mix of simple and complex sentences but too many noticeable errors for a band 7. For instance, "Regardless than their contribution" or the fragment: "Whereas a singer can earn double their yearly salary from one concert."
Topic: Computers and Teaching (Band 6)
School children are becoming far too dependent on computers and this is having an alarming effect on reading and writing skills. Teachers need to avoid using computers in the classroom at all costs and go back to teaching basic study skills.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Children are born into the digital world. From young age, they know how to operate computers, iPad, and TV. It is part of their daily life. School age children is no exception to the use of computers. They are confident users of computers and very dependent on them which can lead to decline in reading and writing skills. Some teachers utilise the computers well in their lessons, while others avoid the use of computers in their classrooms. I believe good balance of both is needed to help students’ reading and writing skills to improve.
Computers can help students with reading. For example, if students come across unknown words, they can search the unknow words and hear the pronunciation. If it was not for the computers, they have to find someone who knows how to pronounce the words for them. Therefore, computers can play positive role in students’ reading skills.
On the other hands, writing skills need to be improved by lots of handwritten works. If students are using computers all the time and getting the help of autocorrection, they will not improve their writing skills. They will not know how to edit as autocorrect is doing the job for them.
In conclusion, I believe that teachers should not allow students to do all the work on the computers especially writing tasks. However, teacher should not avoid the use of computer as computers can be a great help if they use it effectively. Rather than avoiding computers that students are so used to, teachers need to come up with how to use it effectively to enhance students’ reading and writing skills.
Comments
Task Response: 6
You have addressed the question properly and your ideas are relevant. However, you don’t have enough support in your body paragraphs, which is the most important aspect with regards to the grading. Shorten your introduction considerably (2 or 3 sentences to introduce the topic and thesis). It currently doesn’t meet the requirement of “presents, extends and supports main ideas” for band 7.
Coherence & Cohesion: 6
You sequence information and ideas logically, but your linking devices are a bit too mechanical i.e. transition words in initial sentence position e.g. for example, therefore, on the other hand etc. A greater range and higher ability to link would be needed for 7 and over. Take a look at this advice on using transitions for band 7.
Referencing should also be improved e.g. “Some teachers utilise the computers well in their lessons, while others avoid the use of computers them in their classrooms.”
Lexical Resource: 7
Sufficient range of vocab and some less common vocab used, but some errors in word choice / formation prevent a band 8.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6
Overall the grammar is very good, but there is an error in quite a few of the sentences. Most are quite minor but a couple of very noticeable and the candidates need to take care with this to avoid a drop to a 6.
Topic: Improved Medical Care (Band 6.5)
One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing.
Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
Since the medical care system has made significant progress in the last decades, people nowadays get older. While this can be seen as a clear benefit on a personal view, it causes huge problems on a global view. That’s why I think that the benefits of a higher life expectancy do not outweigh the drawbacks.
On the one hand, an advantage of a longer life and better medical care is that people can spend more time with their loved ones without being in pain. As it is possible to treat illnesses the way, that they don’t affect the patient’s life anymore. For example, even a few years ago a lot of people died having a heart attack. With the increased medical possibilities this isn’t the case anymore. As a result, people can overcome illnesses that were deadly.
On the other hand, the global impact a longer life expectancy has is huge. This can be seen by the fact that a longer life of individuals means a higher population on planet earth. For instance, we already have about 8 billion inhabitants and this number is increasing steadily. Consequently, we’ll not have enough resources to gain food and water for such a high number of individuals.
Furthermore, a longer life period also causes higher costs for the medical care system. Reason for that is that more resources are needed to keep people healthy and alive. To illustrate, for the prevention of a heart attack the patient gets a variety of pills to decrease his blood pressure. This medication is expensive. Accordingly, we will need more and more young people to finance the medical system, or the system must be changed.
All in all, it is understandable that people wish to have a healthy and very long life. But in my opinion the global disadvantages clearly outweigh the personal advantages of a longer life and better medical care.
Comments
Task Response: 7
Content of the essay and ideas are generally okay. However, the initial explanation for the advantages is not always clear. The reader has to still think about what you mean about “being in pain.” A stricter examiner could penalize either TR or CC because the reader still has to process what is meant in this paragraph. But I think the average examiner will give you a 7 as the other paragraphs are ok.
Coherence & Cohesion: 7
The use of sequencers is okay. CC levels 8 and 9 do not necessarily have very obvious introductory phrases at the beginning of nearly every sentence (e.g. on the one hand, for example, as a result), and too many could even limit it to a band 6 if it is very mechanical. Take a look at model 8/9 essays to see how it should be done if you want a higher score.
Lexical Resource: 7
Vocabulary is okay, despite an error or two. But for a higher score, you’ll need more complex words.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6
There is a good mix of complex sentences though this aspect could be improved – some sentences could be linked together to make the essay more complex, which would be expected for a band 7, 8 and 9. And this is confusing – “As it is possible to treat illnesses the way, that they don’t affect the patient’s life anymore.” Check out how to write complex sentences as you appear to have a fragment - complex sentences.
Double-check to correct errors you are aware of. As earlier mentioned, the first body paragraph has issues. There are also punctuation issues (comma) in other areas. I think this does not quite reach a 7 but is very close.
Topic: Strength in Sport (Band 6)
Some people think that physical strength is important for success in sport, while others think that mental strength is more important.
Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Physical energy is considered to be an imperative aspect for achievements in the field of sports. However, many individuals argue that mental strength also plays a pivotal role. This essay represents view for both sides along with the opinion.
Firstly, talking about physical energy, regular exercises enables an individual to stay fit and healthy by stretching body muscles that keeps the body active. Secondly, exercises can be performed in a way of practising any activity related to sports; for an instance, playing tennis or football may provides an encouragement and an exploration of new ideas and techniques that can be applied during games. Lastly, exercises reduces the risk of health issues, such as alterations in blood pressure, cardio-vascular diseases, by regulating blood flow in whole body that prevents risk of heart and brain strokes.
On the other side, a healthy mind lives in a healthy body. According to this phrase, mental strength performs a crucial role in sports activities. In today's world of competition, a person came through many situations that are full of stress, for example, team pressure, pressure of winning or loosing the game. Moreover, an individual cannot focus on sports unless or until his mental strength is not strong. A stress may leads a player into depression which can put him on stress releasing medication for his entire life. Furthermore, state of happiness provides relaxation to mental power that boost up the confidence level to perform well in the sports.
In my opinion, both physical as well as mental strength are considered to be mandatory because if exercises helps in the growth of body similarly mental strength gives confidence and support to play well.
Comments
Task Response: 7
The essay addresses all parts of the task, a clear position is presented throughout the response and main ideas are extended and supported main ideas. However, there is a tendency to overgeneralise and/or supporting ideas may lack focus.
Coherence & Cohesion: 6
The essay is clearly organised but it tends to be a bit mechanical with the use of the transition/sequencers (e.g. firstly, secondly, lastly etc).
Lexical Resource: 6
There is an adequate range of vocabulary for the task but not enough to meet the and 7 criteria of "sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision" or "uses less common lexical items".
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6
In this IELTS band 6 essay sample there is evidence of a mix of both simple and complex structures but error free sentences are not frequent (band 7), but the errors present do not reduce the communicative effect so it merits a 6, not 5.
Topic: Relocating Businesses (Band 6)
In some countries governments are encouraging industry and business to move out of large cities and go to regional areas.
Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays, industry and business have been encouraging by part of the nations governments to establish their factories in regional areas instead of in large cities. I strongly believe that there are much more benefits in this movement than drawbacks.
Having a company in a metropolitan area could bring lots of benefits, especially because the infrastructure is better than in smaller centers, with more transport options to receive and dispatch goods as well as a bigger range of specialized services and also skilled labour. Even tought, usually the general costs to keep a business in large cities are higher and not worth it, for instance the taxes and rents are normally more expensive.
On the other hand, moving industries to regional areas could benefit not just the local population, but also the entrepreneurs, due to the savings. A new business in a town or small city may bring more opportunities for workers, with job offers the inhabitants do not need to move to metropolies seeking for a greater careers. Furthermore, almost all the biggest centers in the world are heavily populated, reorganize the population density also brings advantages in the sense to avoid migration to already overcrowded areas.
In addition, industries and business can lead to the development of a different region owing to the need to improvements that can benefits everyone, such as government investimento in roads, as well as new opportunities to small commerces to supply daily need, like restaurants and bakeries.
To sum up, there are numerous benefits in the politice that encourage companies to establish in regional areas, which outweigh the drawbacks. The advantages achieve the entrepreneurs, the local population from towns as well as the large cities. Besides, the government can plan better how to distribute the population.
Comments
Task Response: 7
You discuss and explain the issues well, making sure you discuss both benefits and drawbacks. You focus a bit more on benefits which is ok as you think there are more of these.
Coherence & Cohesion: 6
Your essay is generally organised ok but there are errors with cohesion. “Even tought” is should be “However” - check how these words differ (the first is used to make adverbial clauses, and however is a transition. Also you can’t have ‘On the other hand’ without firstly having “On the one hand”. Check online how to use those words. This is perhaps an area where you could reach a 7 if you take a bit more care.
Lexical Resource: 6
Vocabulary is generally ok and there are some good words in there. You have too many spelling mistakes which brings it down to a 6. I don’t understand this: ‘politice’. Again be careful. Perhaps you could get 7 if you try to cut out the spelling mistakes.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6
This is only just a 6 as you do have some noticeable and in cases slightly confusing errors (you’ll see some of the spelling and grammar errors if you look on Word). I think it’s not quite a 5 but it’s possible another examiner would award it that. Be particularly careful about comma splices as these can really confuse what you are trying to say. These all have comma splices in:
- ...usually the general costs to keep a business in large cities are higher and not worth it, for instance the taxes and rents are normally more expensive.
- A new business in a town or small city may bring more opportunities for workers, with job offers the inhabitants do not need to move to metropolies seeking for a greater careers.
- Furthermore, almost all the biggest centers in the world are heavily populated, reorganize the population density also brings advantages in the sense to avoid migration to already overcrowded areas.
IELTS Band 5 Essay Samples
These are IELTS band 5 essay samples that have been given grades (of 5 or 5.5) and basic comments on the score for each criteria by an experienced IELTS instructor.
View other samples:
Topic: Unethical Advertising (Band 5)
Some of the methods used in advertising are unethical and unacceptable in today’s society.
To what extent do you agree with this view?
Nowadays in worldwide nations, every moment, we are displayed advertisements on TV shows, magazines or huge LED boards situated on intersections. In what methods they are produced or how much producers care about ethical trend to making them? I believe they intent to have more watcher to earn more money regardless to its consequences.
In first point of view, some families my does not need something that is displaying on tv, but as home wife see the advertisement will feel that is a good idea to have it and decide to buy it immediately. In another case, there is families who have young offspring who mentally is not wise enough to perceive everything in family situation. Therefore, they will have high demand while they are watching a new toy advertisement. Begging his parent to purchase it and crying all time. As a result his poor father will be finally obliged to buy the toy.
In second point, they may use psychological weaknesses; for example, by displaying a young lady with fitness body who is using some stuff on show to attract people for the good. It may apparently not so bad, but if we go deep in down will understand that how it may have an effect of youth brain and corrupt it.
Or by using a charming sentences on cigarette box "the ideal of a manhood" as a person see this advertisement on the box, will feel himself on his dreams and will buy it.
In conclusion, the advertisement makers, regardless to the bad effects the advertise may cause on people, will made them due to make their customers satisfying. But it may have bad consequences on society which due to avoiding this trend i suggest authorities make some plans for the circumstance to check and control advertisements before showing up.
Comments
Task Response: 5
The essay expresses a position and ideas are presented that are related to the question but the development is not always clear. Some ideas are slightly unclear due to grammatical errors.
Coherence & Cohesion: 5
There is evidence of organisation but it is not always clear.
Lexical Resource: 5
There is a reasonable range of vocabulary with some examples good use of lexis. But there are too many noticeable errors in spelling and/or word formation that cause some difficulty for the reader.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5
There is evidence of complex sentences being used but errors overall there are frequent grammatical errors and these errors can cause some difficulty for the reader in several places.
Topic: Computers & Children (Band 5.5)
Using a computer everyday can have more negative than positive effects on young children.
Do you agree or disagree?
Modern era is technological era. Computer become a integral part of our life. Youngsters use it in many ways. In my opinion it has more positive impacts than negative on young generation.
First of all, Computer help the children in their studies. They search many type of information related to their studies through internet. They get more ideas related to any particular topic which enhance their knowledge.
Secondly, it helps to improve there skills. With the help of social sites like facebook, twitter they interact with their friends, kith-kin. It helps them to increase their capability to communicate with others. Moreover, they become perfect in their work, they become literate in computer. Which would help them in their career also. Then everywhere is demand of computer it would helps to organisations to find perfect match for job. Then, they need not to trained staff, they can get efficient persons.
However, one of the major drawback is that it invite many health problems among young children they spent long hours in front of computers which effect on their eyes, obesity is another problem for them. Furthermore it increase gap between parents and their child they spent most of their time on computer rather than talk to their guardian.
In nutshell, I would like to say that even computer has many pros and cons. Parents should fix sometime to use the computer and also restrict on websites.
Comments
Task Response: 6
You have a sufficient number of ideas that are presented and explained. Some ideas though are inadequately developed or unclear.
Coherence & Cohesion: 6
There is a sense of organisation and progression in the response but cohesive devices can be a bit mechanical and faulty at times.
Lexical Resource: 5
There is an adequate range of vocabulary but there are too many errors.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5
There are several issues with the grammar, with many complex sentences written inaccurately and quite a lot of grammar errors, though these do not generally impede communication.
Topic: Exploitation of Animals (Band 5.5)
A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Although some people believe that humans should use animals to satify their different necessities, such as feeding and researching, the number of indivuduals that defend that animals should not be exploited as well as shoud have the same prerogatives as humankind is increasing. In my opinion, animals should recieve a better treatment and not to be abuse anymore.
In the humanity history for centuries it was common to utilize animals for lots of tasks, like transportation. Most of them worked their entire lifes without stopping, suffering abuse. The animals were domesticated just to satisfy human necessities, with which most of people agreeded at that time withou questioning.
Nevertheless, more recente studies have proved that animals have feelings, not exactly the same as the humans, but some similars emotions. Nowadays, it is not necessary anymore to use animals for jobs, for research and even for feeding. With the evolution, all of this need can be satisfied with the new technology. For instance, there are different means of transport, even eco-friendly ones, also planty of other options to substitute meat for great and nutritive substances that not involve sacrifying animals.
More than this, animals should have recognized rights to assure them a healthy and safe life, not exactly the same as humans, but laws to protect them that take in consideration their aspects. As an example in Brazil we have some recent changes in law in order to forbid the use of animals in researchs and to penalize animals abuse.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that animals should not be employ anymore to satisfy individuals needs. Furthermore, animals must have rights recognize worldwide to assecure them a better quality of life, based on the human law, observed the peculiarities.
Comments
Task Response: 5
Your essay doesn’t really answer the question satisfactorily. If you read your body paragraphs, very little of it actually discusses the reasons why animals should not be exploited, or the arguments why they should be exploited to satisfy our needs. Your 2nd body paragraph does a bit but the 1st and 3rd don’t. Go through some of the ‘discuss two opinion’ sample essays here to see how to answer this type of question.
Coherence & Cohesion: 6
Your essay is generally organised ok. I can follow it without any difficulties and you have used cohesive devices mostly correctly. This is probably the strongest part of your writing.
Lexical Resource: 5
Vocabulary is generally ok and there are some good words in there but you have too many spelling mistakes which brings it down to a 5. For example: satify, shoud, indivuduals, withou, etc. I have a feeling some of these may be typos from writing quickly on a computer. But typos still get counted as errors so make sure you type carefully and check your work.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6
This is only just a 6 as you do have quite a few noticeable grammar errors, so you need to be careful. However, I think there is just enough good grammar there to merit a 6. This for instance is a bit of a confusing sentence: “the number of indivuduals that defend that animals should not be exploited as well as shoud have the same prerogatives as humankind is increasing” and you have other errors such as “most of people agreeded” (no ‘of’ and should be ‘agreed’).
Topic: Teaching Children (Band 5.5)
It is the responsibility of schools to teach children good behaviour in addition to provide formal education.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that schools should teach students to be good people apart from providing formal education. I completely agree with this statement because children spend long hours at schools, and parents have to pay for tuition fees.
Schools should be responsible for teaching children to have good manners because children spend a significant amount of time at schools. This is because when children spend a lot of time with teachers who usually act as role models for them, students can learn and imitate good manners. For example, students from one of the most famous schools in Thailand reported that they behave themselves well because their teachers instilled good values in them while studying at schools.
Another reason is that parents have to pay for tuition fees, so they expect their children to become good people. This is due to the fact that parents expect their children to be successful both professionally and personally. For instance, international schools in Thailand charge parents a lot of money, so their parents expect their children to be excellent not only at academic subjects, but also good manners.
In conclusion, schools have to be responsible for teaching about good manners because children spend a lot of time at schools, and parents have to pay for education costs.
Comments
Task Response: 5
You answer the essay question to a degree but you really need more support to start getting to 6 and above. I noted that your essay is only 213 words and this is not really long enough. You should aim for the required 250, and do this by providing body paragraph support rather than extending your introduction and conclusion.
Also some of your support is a bit repetitive; for instance “they expect their children to become good people” then this “parents expect their children to be successful both professionally and personally” and this “their parents expect their children to be excellent not only at academic subjects, but also good manners” are really saying the same thing.
Coherence & Cohesion: 5
Your essay is generally organised ok but you do have some issues more about the logic of your essay which is caused by the way you are using connectors. For instance “This is because” does not make sense in the 2nd body paragraph. It should just start with the “When…”.
You have the same problem with “This is due to the fact that..”. In both of these cases you are not giving reasons based on what you said before. Are you just thinking you have to give a topic sentence then a reason so you are using these words? Think about what you are actually trying to say, then use the correct language.
Lexical Resource: 6
Vocabulary is generally ok but length is the issue – see the comments about grammar below as the same applies to your vocabulary.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6
Grammar is generally ok – you do not have too many errors and you show an ability to write complex sentences and forms. This is a 6 because of the length really. I think if you can do a full essay then you may well be able to get 7 here as you will then be showing a wider range of language and complexity. But of course if you are writing more you need to be sure this does not mean you rush and make more errors.
IELTS Band 4 Essay Samples
These are IELTS band 4 essay samples that have been given grades (of 4 or 4.5) and basic comments on the score for each criteria by an experienced IELTS instructor.
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Topic: Animal Exploitation (Band 4.5)
A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In this century, there are a countless number of people that are showing interest in what concerne animals rights, therefore it is becoming an actual and argued topic.
People are starting to look disapprovingly all situations and events with animal exploitation. Infact, circus for example, has lost its popularity and the audience prefer human performances.
Moreover, animal rights have become part of the law and animal’s abuse is punished with fees and occasionally with prison.
Further more, also the animal breeding has been observed and people are realizing that the killing and the slaughter of animals is cruelly done. It is important to realize that people of new generations are developing a new sensibility concerning this issue, but currently it is emerging a new exstremist thought.
Despite the huge number of vegeterian people (which the majority of them are following a new fashion), there are also people with distorted views.
The area that worry me most regards the animal research which allows considerable and important improvements in the medical research, therefore in human walfare. The animalist group are spreading wrong information , directly demaging the research sector. As an illustration, few months ago an animalist group destroyed years and years of neurological research freeing rats used in a laboratory, because they would have been cruelly treated. Unfortunately this animalists did not know that for each treatment was used anesthesia.
Given these points, I defend animal rights and I do not support any form of animal exploitation , nevertheless I do not support any exetremist thought especially concerning medical research.
Comments
Task Response: 4
The essay is difficult to follow in places and it is often not clear what point is being made. I could not work out your paragraphing at all. You must have 4 or 5 paragraphs in the essay (the first being the introduction and the last the conclusion).
Band descriptors: It responds to the task only in a minimal way, it presents a position but this is unclear, and it presents some main ideas but these are difficult to identify.
Coherence & Cohesion: 4
In an essay like this you should clearly divide it into two parts which answer each opinion. So one body paragraph explains why it is not acceptable to exploit animals, and the other body explains why it is ok to exploit animals. Then you can give your opinion – either in a third body paragraph or as part of the conclusion.
Band descriptors: This essay presents information and ideas but these are not arranged coherently and there is no clear progression in the response; may not write in paragraphs or their use may be confusing.
Lexical Resource: 5
You do occasionally have some good vocabulary and good sentences but there are too many errors with most of them and some very confusing parts that cannot be understood.
Band descriptors: May make noticeable errors in spelling and/or word formation that may cause some difficulty.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5
Band descriptors: attempts complex sentences but these tend to be less accurate than simple sentences; frequent grammatical errors and punctuation may be faulty; errors can cause some difficulty for the reader.
Student Sample Essays
For more IELTS essay topics with answers you can also view essays that have been written by students. Some have feedback from other students or IELTS teachers:
- Student Model Essays (with comments by other students)
- Student Model Essays (with comments by IELTS buddy)