In these type of questions you are asked to discuss the positive and negative sides of a particular topic. You will usually be asked this in the context of giving an opinion (e.g. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? Is it a positive or negative development?):
IELTS Traffic Problems Essay
This is a traffic problems essay and the specific topic is the taxing of car drivers in order to reduce these problems.
You are asked to discuss the advantages and disadvantages of introducing such a policy to tackle the issue.
This question is very clear, and it does not specifically ask you for an opinion. You just need to look at both sides of the issue.
The logical way to answer it would be to discuss each side in a different paragraph.
Sample IELTS Writing
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
In order to solve traffic problems, governments should tax private car owners heavily and use the money to improve public transportation.
What are the advantages and disadvantages of such a solution?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.
Write at least 250 words.
Traffic Problems Essay - Model Answer
Traffic congestion in many cities around the world is severe. One possible solution to this problem is to impose heavy taxes on car drivers and use this money to make public transport better. This essay will discuss the benefits and drawbacks of such a measure.
One of the first benefits of such a measure is that the heavy taxes would discourage car owners from using their cars because it would become very expensive to drive. This would mean that they would begin to make use of public transport instead, thus reducing traffic problems and pollution as well. Another benefit would be that much more use would be made of public transport if it was improved. It is often the case that public transport in cities is very poor. For example, we often see old buses and trains that people would rather not use. High taxes would generate enough money to make the necessary changes.
Nevertheless, there are drawbacks to such a solution. First and foremost, this would be a heavy burden on the car drivers. At present, taxes are already high for a lot of people, and so further taxes would only mean less money at the end of the month for most people who may have no choice but to drive every day. In addition, this type of tax would likely be set at a fixed amount. This would mean that it would hit those with less money harder, whilst the rich could likely afford it. It is therefore not a fair tax.
To conclude, this solution is worth considering to improve the current situation, but there are advantages and disadvantages of introducing such a policy.
(277 words)
Comments
The topic is clearly stated in the general statement of the introduction, and the thesis tells the reader that advantages and disadvantages will be discussed.
The traffic problems essay is organised well, with the advantages of such a solution in the first body paragraph and the disadvantages in the next.
Each paragraph has two ideas and they are well signaled and supported.
There are some good uses of tenses to show the writer is discussing the unreal future i.e. something that has not happened (would discourage car owners..., would be a heavy burden...,).
IELTS Food Additives Essay
This food additives essay is basically an advantages and disadvantages essay. You need to be careful with the word ‘outweigh’ as this often confuses students.
The word ‘outweigh’ can be placed in different ways in the sentence so rather than work it out, it is better to think of it simply as ‘are there more advantages or disadvantages
This is the question:
Do the dangers derived from the use of chemicals in food production and preservation outweigh the advantages?
'Outweigh' Confusion
Decide what you think there are more of and then state this in the thesis statement without mentioning the word ‘outweigh’ as candidates commonly get mixed up when using this word.
For example, look at the thesis statement from the food additives essay model answer:
- In my opinion, the potential dangers from this are greater than the benefits we receive.
‘Outweigh’ questions do suggest, though, that there are definitely both advantages AND disadvantages, so you should discuss both.
However, make sure your essay supports your opinion. For example, if you have said there are more disadvantages, it would not make sense to then write mostly about advantages.
As you can see from the model answer, advantages are discussed, but the focus is on the disadvantages as this is what it is stated are greater in the thesis statement.
Food Additives Essay
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
Do the dangers derived from the use of chemicals in food production and preservation outweigh the advantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.
Write at least 250 words.
Food Additives Essay Model Answer
Most foods that are purchased these days in small stores and supermarkets have chemicals in them as these are used to improve production and ensure the food lasts for longer. However, there are concerns that these have harmful effects. In my opinion, the potential dangers from this are greater than the benefits we receive.
There are several reasons why chemicals are placed in food. Firstly, it is to improve the product to the eye, and this is achieved via the use of colourings which encourage people to purchase food that may otherwise not look tempting to eat. Another reason is to preserve the food. Much of the food we eat would not actually last that long if it were not for chemicals they contain, so again this is an advantage to the companies that sell food as their products have a longer shelf life.
From this evidence, it is clear to me that the main benefits are, therefore, to the companies and not to the customer. Although companies claim these food additives are safe and they have research to support this, the research is quite possibly biased as it comes from their own companies or people with connections to these companies. It is common to read reports these days in the press about possible links to various health issues such as cancer. Food additives have also been linked to problems such as hyperactivity in children.
To conclude, despite the fact that there are benefits to placing chemicals in food, I believe that these principally help the companies but could be a danger to the public. It is unlikely that this practice can be stopped, so food must be clearly labeled and it is my hope that organic products will become more readily available at reasonable prices to all.
(Words 298)
Improve your Health Vocabulary
Computer Games Essay
This page analyzes a computer games essay and also notes how you can make good use of the question to plan and organize your essay.
You have to be careful with this essay as although you have to discuss the pros and cons of the issue, there is a second part to the question that is not about this.
Take a look at the IELTS task 2 question:
Nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games.
What are the positive and negative impacts of playing computer games and what can be done to minimize the bad effects?
The Topic and the Task
Remember to always analyze the question carefully. The topic should be fairly clear:
- Computer games
Remember to also look carefully to see if the topic is being narrowed down to a particular aspect of the topic. In this case it is:
- Children
Now you need to check what the task is. How many things do you have to write about?
Hopefully you realized there are three things that you can easily turn into brainstorming questions:
- What are the positive impacts of computer games on children?
- What are the negative impacts of computer games on children?
- How can the negative impacts be minimized?
Your answers to these questions will form your computer games essay.
You do not have much time and you have three things to answer, so one or two ideas for each is enough, as remember you will need to explain your ideas and give examples.
Now, take a look at the model answer.
Computer Games Essay Question:
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
Nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games.
What are the positive and negative impacts of playing computer games and what can be done to minimize the bad effects?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.
Write at least 250 words.
Computer Games Essay Model Answer:
Access to computers has increased significantly over recent decades, and the number of children playing games on computers has increased too. This essay will consider the positive and negative impacts of this and discuss ways to avoid the potential negative effects.
With regards to the positive effects, playing computer games can develop children’s cognitive skills. Many popular games require abstract and high level thinking skills in order to win, skills that may not be taught at school. For example, children need to follow instructions, solve complex problems and use logic in many of the games that are currently popular. Such experience will be beneficial to a child’s progression into an adult.
However, concerns have been raised about the prolific use of computer games by children, much of this related to the violence they contain. The problem is that in many of the games children are rewarded for being more violent, and this violence is repeated again and again. For instance, many games involve children helping their character to kill, kick, stab and shoot. This may lead to increased aggressive feelings, thoughts, and behaviours.
In order to minimize these negative impacts, parents need to take certain steps. Firstly, some video games are rated according to their content, so parents must check this and ensure their children are not allowed to have access to games that are unsuitable. Parents can also set limits on the length of time games are played. Finally, parents should also take an active interest in the games their children are playing so they can find out how they feel about what they are observing.
To sum up, there are benefits of computer games, but there are disadvantages too. However, if parents take adequate precautions, the severity of these negative impacts can be avoided.
(295 Words)
Comments
This computer games essay is well-organized and it directly answers the question, with each paragraph addressing one of the tasks.
Note how the topic sentences match the tasks (which have been taken from the prompt):
- What are the positive impacts of computer games on children?
With regards to the positive effects, playing computers games can develop children’s cognitive skills.
- What are the negative impacts of computer games on children?
However, concerns have been raised about the prolific use of computer games by children, much of this related to the violence they contain.
- How can the negative impacts be minimized?
In order to minimize these negative impacts, parents need to take certain steps.
This is why analyzing the question is so important. This provides you with the basic building blocks with which to write your essay.
Age Discrimination at Work Essay
In this IELTS Age Discrimination at Work Essay you have to argue whether you think that rejecting people from a job they have applied for on the basis of their age is a positive or negative development.
This was a real question in an August 2018 IELTS test. You have to be careful as it is a question that is easy to misunderstand.
In some countries it is now illegal to reject someone applying for a job because of his or her age.
Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Misunderstanding the Question
Misunderstanding the question in IELTS writing is a real problem as that will reduce your score for Task Response.
Unfortunately this is a question that is easy to misinterpret if you are not familiar with the fact that in many countries it is illegal to discriminate on the basis of age when you decide who to employ.
It varies from country to country, and it can include discrimination of any age, young or old. But most laws arose in relation to discrimination against people who are older.
And by too old that does not necessarily mean somebody in their 60s or 70s. A employer could discriminate against somebody in their late 40s or 50s if they choose somebody in their 20s just because they are younger.
So you could talk about young people, but if you do, the legislation refers to young people who can legally work, usually 16 or over. It is not connected to letting children work (that remains illegal in most countries).
Given that laws vary in different countries, you could focus on what aspect you like - older people, younger, or both. It probable makes sense though to focus on older people, as these are the ones likely to be discriminated against, not younger people, so it may be easier to come up with ideas.
Answering the question
There is also not one fixed way of answering IELTS essay questions. Often candidates think there is only one way it can be answered and the examiner will mark them down if they don't follow it.
This question could be answered in several ways. It is an opinion essay so you must make your opinion very clear at some point:
- Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
As you are asked about 'positives' or 'negatives' it is like an 'advantage / disadvantage' essay. However, as you are asked your opinion about whether it is positive or negative, you don't have to discuss both sides, though you can.
There are two main ways you could set out your body paragraphs. Here are some possibilities, assuming that you think the development is positive.
Example One:
- Body 1: Disadvantages
- Body 2: Advantages
So in this one above, if you have one main reason it's negative and one that it's positive, you could place each in a separate body paragraph. You could then state in the conclusion (and introduction if you want) what your opinion is.
But if you want to, you could focus you body paragraphs more on the opinion you have, as below.
Example Two:
- Body 1: Disadvantage
- Body 2: First Advantage
- Body 3: Second Advantage
Example Three:
- Body 1: First Advantage
- Body 2: Second Advantage
- Body 3: Third Advantage
In this third one, reasons have just been found to say it's positive. That's ok as you are not told to discuss both sides, so you can choose to just support your opinion.
Sample Answer
Now take a look at the model answer for this IELTS age discrimination at work essay.
Which paragraph pattern does it use?
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
In some countries it is now illegal to reject someone applying for a job because of his or her age.
Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.
Write at least 250 words.
IELTS Age Discrimination at Work Essay Model Answer:
It is now fairly common to exclude the age of a job applicant from an application form so that the selection of a candidate is not based on this criteria. I view this as a positive development.
There are certain reasons that an employer may feel this is not a step in the right direction. The main one is that they may feel they need to know a person’s age because the job is not suitable for an older person. This, for example, could be because they think there is a need to be very physically fit, such as work within the construction industry where heavy lifting is needed or other work where someone is expected to be very active all day.
However, as a general rule it is better if rejection on the basis of age is not permitted. Although some jobs do need younger people, many employers will simply reject a candidate unfairly. For instance, they may simply be concerned about the image of the company and think a younger person will fit the face of the company better even though an older person may be just as capable of carrying out the role.
Another reason is that older people have things to offer employers that younger people may not be able to. If it is a job within a particular field, such as law or accountancy, then the older person will have many skills in this area through working in it for so long. In addition to this, they will also bring a wealth of life experiences that a younger person may not have, which is also beneficial to any role.
All in all, it is therefore a positive development if employers cannot reject someone because of their age. Hopefully more countries will adopt this rule so older people have equal opportunities everywhere.
306 Words
Comments
This essay followed the following pattern of Example Two:
- Body 1: Disadvantage
- Body 2: First Advantage
- Body 3: Second Advantage
As the writer thinks that overall it's positive, you do not want to have two paragraphs with negative reasons and one with positive. That would not be coherent.
Are Tablets and Computers Good for Children Essay
In this essay you have to discuss whether allowing children to use tablets and computers has more positive or negative impacts.
As is usual with IELTS essay questions, this is a topical issue as it is something that you will commonly see debated in the media and amongst people generally.
This is the question:
More and more parents are allowing their children to play on computers and tablets as they think that children should learn technology skills.
Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
Analysing the Question
The key part of this question is this part:
- More and more parents are allowing their children to play on computers and tablets
Although it mentions why parents are allowing this (they think that children should learn technology skills) you don't have to focus on the issue of technological skills.
You should mention it as it's in the question, but you can write about any arguments for or against children using computers and tablets.
This is because you are not discussing whether there are more advantages or disadvantages of learning technology skills via computers and tablets. This is only something some parents think happens so it can't be treated as a fact - it may not actually be the case in your opinion.
Organising the Essay
This essay says:
- Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
In this type of essay it is best to discuss both pros and cons. This is because the question suggests there are both. You still though have to say which there are more of.
In order to ensure your opinion reflects the structure of your essay, one good way to organise it is with three body paragraphs. You then have two of these focused on the side you support.
So for example, if you think there are more disadvantages of allowing children to play on computers and tables, then you could organise your essay as follows:
- Opinion: Disadvantages outweigh the Advantages
- Body 1: Advantage
- Body 2: Disadvantage
- Body 3: Disadvantage
Remember outweigh means more than (literally heavier than)! So in this case, there are more disadvantages than advantages.
Now take a look at the model answer:
Sample Answer
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
More and more parents are allowing their children to play on computers and tablets as they think that children should learn technology skills.
Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.
Write at least 250 words.
Model Answer:
These days it is common to observe children spending significant amounts of time on electronic devices such as computers and tablets. In my opinion, the drawbacks of allowing children to do this outweigh any advantages.
The benefit of this development is that it will keep children occupied. There is no doubt that raising children and taking care of them can be stressful at times for parents so allowing them to play on a device means that the parents can have a break and not have to continuously entertain them. This could potentially mean improved family relationships.
However, there are several disadvantages. Firstly, children's free time can be better utilised with other activities. Although they may learn some technological skills, they mostly just play games, and in any case computer skills are now taught in school. Of much more benefit is encouraging children to spend their free time interacting with other children, playing with normal toys, and playing other games outside, which will foster their creative, cognitive, and social skills.
In addition to this there is growing evidence that it can also have negative health impacts. Research reported in the media claims that it can possibly damage the eyes of a child when looking at screens for long periods. Studies also indicate children using these devices may have more difficulty sleeping, something which is crucial for mental development.
In conclusion, the drawbacks of allowing children to use computers and tablets outweigh the benefits. While it may give parents more time, it could damage their mental and physical development.
Words: 257
Comments
The essay would score a highly on all the the four criteria used for marking IELTS essays.
Task Response: The essay answers all parts of the question, ideas are relevant and extended appropriately.
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay is well-organised and easy to read at the sentence and paragraph level and makes good use of linking words and connectors.
Lexical Resource: There is a wide range of accurate and topic relevant vocabulary and a good understanding of collocations and idioms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: There is also a good mix of grammatical structures that are accurate, and a good level of complexity in the grammar.
Cell Phone Essay
In this cell phone essay you have to discuss the advantages and disadvantages of the way in which cell phones and the internet dominate the ways in which people relate to each other socially.
This is the question:
These days, cell (mobile) phones and the internet are very important to the ways in which people relate to one another socially.
Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
Analysing the Question
This is a type of question that has appeared in the IELTS test a few times:
- The impacts of technology on the way we communicate with each other
With IELTS essay questions, you always need to note carefully exactly what you are being asked to write about.
In this case it is about cell / mobile phones and the internet. So you must write about both. Sometimes an essay may just ask you about one or the other.
This is also important in this cell phone essay:
- 'The way in which people communicate with each other socially'
You are not being asked about work situations but social situations. So you should not talk about how these types of technology have impacted on organisations or workers.
You are also being asked if there are more advantages or disadvantages. So you must clearly state your opinion on this and also write about both in your cell phone essay (as the suggestion is that there are both).
Cell Phone Essay
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
These days, cell (mobile) phones and the internet are very important to the ways in which people relate to one another socially.
Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.
Write at least 250 words.
Cell Phone Essay Model Answer
It is rare these days to find someone who does not communicate and interact with others through a cell phone or the internet as they are widespread throughout society. I believe that the benefits of this development outweigh the drawbacks.
One main negative consequence of this development is that people may have become disconnected in relation to conversing with each other face-to-face. People now tend to use their cell phones or the internet to communicate, but rather than actually speaking, they send a message. Some of the most popular applications are WhatsApp, Facebook Messenger, and Line, all of which encourage messaging. The result of this is that people may lack the benefits of engaging with others in conversation and the closeness this brings.
Despite this, there are several important advantages as well. Firstly, the internet and cell phones mean that people can stay connected however far away they are from each other. For instance, these days, many people live in different countries or go travelling in different countries. Cell phones and the internet mean that parents can easily keep in touch with their children who are on holiday and people who immigrate to live abroad can easily communicate with their loved ones when needed. In addition to this, the internet means that people also interact with strangers and increase their knowledge of other cultures because through such things as Facebook, people connect to all sorts of people around the world, becoming friends and also discussing and exchanging knowledge.
In conclusion, although a disadvantage of the internet and cell phones is the lack of face-to-face conversation, they have improved the way we can stay in contact with loved ones and exchange ideas with new people. Overall then, this is a positive development for society.
(297 Words)
Working From Home Essay
In this working from home essay for IELTS you have to discuss whether you think that working from home has more advantages or disadvantages.
This was a recent question from the test. Take a look at the essay question:
These days, many people have their own computer and telephone, so it is quite easy for them to do their job at home.
Does working at home have more advantages or more disadvantages?
The Task
In this essay you have the following task:
- Does working at home have more advantages or disadvantages?
This suggests that there are both pros and cons of working from home as you are asked which there are more of.
So in your answer to this working from home essay it's better to discuss both but write more about the side that you think there are more of so that the essay content reflects your opinion.
Try then to think of one reason for one side of the argument and two for the other side.
Organisation
It's usual in academic writing to start with the opinion that is the one you don't support so start with that one.
So based on this, the sample working from home essay is organised as follows:
- Have more control of time (advantage)
- Loneliness (disadvantage)
- Less influence in the company (disadvantage)
So in this case, the writer thinks of course that there are more disadvantages and this should be clearly stated when you give your opinion in the introduction and / or conclusion.
Working From Home Essay
Now take a look at the model answer.
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
These days, many people have their own computer and telephone, so it is quite easy for them to do their job at home.
Does working at home have more advantages or more disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.
Write at least 250 words.
Model Answer:
In the present age it is common for people to work from home because of advances in technology. On balance, I would argue that this has more negative impacts than positive.
One advantage of working from home is the freedom it provides. Home workers can organise their work around their home life as they can stop or start work as they please, and thus if, for example, they have children, they can easily arrange to take them and pick them up from school. They can also undertake any other tasks that they need to do during the day, such as doing the laundry or shopping, and then finish work later. Overall then, employees have more control over their lives.
Despite these positive factors, however, there are a number of disadvantages. The first of these is the fact that those who work at home nearly all the time will not be mixing with colleagues. When people are at work, they are always surrounded by others, but at home, an employee is likely to be alone most the time. This may lead to feelings of loneliness due to a lack of interaction.
Another drawback is the fact that one may have less influence in the company. It is often the case that important decisions arise on the spur of the moment as unexpected issues arise. If an employee is not there, others may have to step in. If this occurs on a regular basis, the employees contribution to the company may decline, meaning a higher probability of getting overlooked for things such as promotion.
In conclusion, although there are positives and negatives related to working from home, there are more negative impacts. Employees should therefore consider carefully whether working from home is the best choice.
(293 Words)
Comments
This working from home essay would get a high score as it meets the requirements of the task, which is to discuss the pros and cons of working from home and state which there are more of.
It is also coherent and cohesive, with paragraphing used to good effect and good linking within and between sentences.
There is a good range of lexis (vocabulary) in the essay and it is used accurately with good collocations.
There is also a good mix of complex sentences and structures and again the grammatical accuracy is very good.
Essay Locally Grown Produce
This essay is about locally grown produce and whether people should be encouraged to purchase only from local farms in order to improve the environment and economies.
It was a recent exam question. Take a look at the question:
Today much of the food people eat gets transported from farms that are thousands of miles away. Some people believe it would be better for the environment and the economy if people only consumed food produced by local farmers.
Would the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
Analysing the Question
You have to be careful with this question and make sure that you cover all the points that are presented in the prompt.
it specifically mentions the environment and the economy so you must make sure you talk about these. If you don't the examiner may decide you have not covered all the parts of the question.
Also the prompt is suggesting there are both advantages and disadvantages, so again it is a good ideas to mention both to ensure you have fully answered the question.
If you think though there are more disadvantages for example, you can present more support for this side as you believe they outweigh (i.e. there are more of them) the advantages.
Now take a look at the model answer below.
Essay Locally Grown Produce
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
Today much of the food people eat gets transported from farms that are thousands of miles away. Some people believe it would be better for the environment and the economy if people only consumed food produced by local farmers.
Would the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.
Write at least 250 words.
Model Answer
These days food often travels many miles as farmers export their food around the world to satisfy consumer demand. Although some people think stopping this practice would benefit the economy and the environment, I believe that the negative impacts would not justify such a change.
The benefits of stopping the export of food are twofold. In relation to the environment, transporting food involves the use of thousands of lorries and many flights, which contributes to pollution given all the emissions this must produce everyday. This negatively affects people’s health and also may be leading to global warming. In addition to this, stopping the practice will mean that people then only buy local food, leading to a boost to local economies as farmers will become profitable as they sell more.
However, there are downsides to this. A problem is that these days many countries, particularly developing countries, rely on exports of their produce. Countries often have acres and acres of plantations and crops that are only sold to foreign markets, and this provides an income to the farmers but it also provides work for thousands of local people around the world working on farms. Furthermore, people these days have become dependent on ingredients from other countries and without it people could no longer cook or eat many of their favourite recipes and many restaurants that depend on food exports may go out of business.
On balance, I therefore believe that the advantages do not outweigh the disadvantages. Despite the fact that it may improve the environment, the negative economic impacts on farmers who export and their employees and the further impacts on food choices and restaurants would be too detrimental.
(279 Words)
Comments
This essay would get a high score for the following reasons.
Firstly it has fully answered the question and the ideas presented in support of the question have been fully extended and explained.
The first body paragraph presents the benefits of eating only locally grown produce or food, focusing on this in relation to the environment and the economy.
The second body paragraph then focuses on the possible negative impacts of this. It's ok to mention some other issues (e.g. the lack of choice for consumers) but the essay makes sure that again some environmental and economic issues are presented.
The essay also has good coherence and cohesion. It is logically organised, easy to follow, and paragraphing has been used well.
Lexical resource (vocabulary) is also sufficient and accurate, with some good words and phrases, some of them topic related:
- contributes to pollution
- negatively affects
- downsides
- developing countries
- acres of plantations
- foreign markets
- dependent on
- negative economic impacts
- detrimental
There is a also a good range of grammatical structures with high levels of accuracy.
Oil and Gas Essay
This oil and gas essay is about the issue of going to remote and untouched places to find oil and gas.
It is an advantages and disadvantages essay. Look at the question:
Demand for gas and oil is increasing and so finding new sources in remote and untouched areas is a necessity.
Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
You need to make sure you give your opinion as you are asked whether you think there are more advantages than disadvantages.
One way to answer a question like this to make sure your essay structure fits your opinion by writing more about the side you support.
In the case of this IELTS sample oil and gas essay, the writer thinks there are more disadvantages so it has been organised as follows:
- Body 1: Pros
- Body 2: Cons
- Body 3: Cons
The structure therefore supports the opinion well i.e. more benefits than drawbacks.
Now take a look at the model answer.
Model Oil and Gas Essay
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
Demand for gas and oil is increasing and so finding new sources in remote and untouched areas is a necessity.
Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.
Write at least 250 words.
Model Answer
As countries around the world continue to modernise and develop, there is more consumerism, industry, and transport and a corresponding need for more gas and oil. One option to meet this demand is to find it in otherwise untouched and remote places, such as the North Pole. However, I believe that doing this is not the right solution.
There are benefits to such a strategy. This is firstly the fact that people wish to improve their living standards, particularly in developing countries, and fuels such as oil and gas allow this as they enable the heating of homes, the running of cars and planes, and the production of goods. All of these result in higher living standards, and thus we need to keep finding new sources since we will eventually run out.
However, despite this, there are major problems with exploiting untouched and remote locations. One issue is that we will end up potentially jeopardising what are beautiful landscapes. For instance, an area which countries would like to drill is the Antarctic, home to many glaciers and animals such as polar bears and penguins. Drilling here would harm the habitat, and in particular, any spillages would be disastrous to the environment.
Not only this, due to health issues and global warming we should no longer be seeking to use such forms of energy. It is evident that the use of these fuels on a wide-scale has led to the pollution of many cities and the subsequent poor health of its citizens where car use is so high. Also, carbon dioxide is getting released into the atmosphere, and this may be endangering our very existence. Therefore, we should be aiming to utilise more eco-friendly options such as wind and sun for power and electricity for cars.
To conclude, although there is an advantage of finding new places to get oil and gas, which is that we can sustain and improve our living standards, the negative impacts outweigh this as we will damage those environments, as well as continue to harm our health and the planet.
(345 Words)
Comments
This oil and gas essay would get a good score as it clearly answers the question by discussing the pros and cons of seeking alternative sources.
Ideas are provided and supported. And an opinion is clearly stated and this opinion is reflected in the essays ideas and structure.
It is well-organised with a clear introduction - introducing the topic followed by a thesis statement. Each body paragraph has a central idea and the opinion is again summed up in the conclusion.
There is a good mix of topic related vocabulary and examples of complex sentences and structures.
The essay is 345 words. If you are a lower level candidate you may need to decrease the amount of words to around 275 to make sure you can write and check your essay in 40 minutes.
Peer Pressure and Young People Essay
This peer pressure and young people essay tackles the issue of whether the influence of one's peers is negative or positive.
Take a look at the essay question.
Young people are often influenced in their behaviours by others in the same age group. Some argue that peer pressure is important while others feel it has distinct disadvantages.
Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages?
Understanding the question
Though this is clearly a question asking about the advantages and disadvantages of one's peers, it's important to note that you can't just list the pros and cons without giving your opinion.
The question specifically says:
- Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages?
This is saying: "Are the disadvantages greater than the advantages?" So you must answer that question. You can do so within the body paragraphs or just at the end in the conclusion.
You could of course say they are equal and balance each other out, as long as you make it clear that that is your opinion.
Either way, you must also discuss disadvantages and advantages. Whatever your opinion is, the question is clearly implying there are both - just that there may be more of one than the other. If you don't discuss both, the examiner may take the view that you have not fully answered the question which could limit you to a band 5 for task response.
Peer Pressure and Young People Essay Sample
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
Young people are often influenced in their behaviours by others in the same age group. Some argue that peer pressure is important while others feel it has distinct disadvantages.
Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.
Write at least 250 words.
Model Answer
Peer pressure is a pervasive phenomenon that significantly influences the behaviours of young individuals. While some argue that it plays a crucial role in positively shaping the lives of the youth, others contend that the disadvantages of peer pressure are very detrimental.
Peer pressure, when harnessed positively, can have several advantages. Firstly, it can foster a sense of belonging and camaraderie among individuals within the same age group. Young people often seek acceptance and affirmation from their peers, and this can contribute to their emotional well-being and self-esteem. A further benefit is that positive peer pressure can encourage healthy behaviours, such as exercising or avoiding risky activities. For instance, a teenager might be motivated to quit smoking if their friends promote a smoke-free lifestyle.
However, peer pressure can also have distinct disadvantages. The most pressing concern is the potential for negative influences on impressionable minds. Young people may succumb to the pressure of engaging in harmful behaviours, such as substance abuse, criminal activities, or reckless behaviours like driving without a seatbelt, due to peer pressure, which can lead to long-lasting negative consequences and jeopardise their future.
Moreover, excessive pressure from peers can stifle individuality and creativity as young people may conform to the norms of their peer group instead of pursuing their own aspirations and dreams. This conformity may limit their personal growth and hinder their ability to think independently.
In conclusion, I would argue that peer pressure has more disadvantages as although it can foster a sense of belonging and promote healthy behaviours, it also carries the risk of leading young people astray and stifling their individuality. It is imperative for parents, educators, and society at large to guide young people in making informed choices and navigating the complexities of peer influence.
293 Words
Comments
This peer pressure and young people essay would score highly for IELTS.
Regarding task response, it fully answers the question, discussing both the pros and cons of peer pressure and setting out a clear opinion on the topic - in this case that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. Ideas are clearly stated and extended.
Coherence and cohesion is very good, with ideas sequenced logically and clearly and paragraphing used sufficiently and appropriately.
There is a wide range of lexis (vocabulary) used fluently and flexibly. For instance, in the first two paragraphs:
- pervasive phenomenon
- positively shaping
- harnessed positively
- foster a sense of belonging and camaraderie
- seek acceptance and affirmation
- emotional well-being and self-esteem
As for grammatical range and accuracy, there is a wide range of structures, with a high level of accuracy. An example of several complex structures used can be seen for instance here:
- Young people may succumb to the pressure of engaging in harmful behaviours, such as substance abuse, criminal activities, or reckless behaviours like driving without a seatbelt, due to peer pressure, which can lead to long-lasting negative consequences and jeopardise their future.
Online Fraud Essay
This online fraud essay tackles the issue of whether the trend of people sharing their personal information via the internet is a positive or negative development.
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
These days more people put their personal information, such as names, addresses and telephone numbers, online for everyday activities such as socialising on social networks or banking purposes.
Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.
Write at least 250 words.
Model Answer
In recent years, a growing number of individuals have embraced the trend of sharing personal information online for various daily activities, including socialising on social networks and conducting banking transactions. In my opinion, while there are both advantages and disadvantages to this trend, the overall impact leans toward the negative.
One notable benefit is the unparalleled convenience it offers in various aspects of daily living. Online platforms enable seamless communication, allowing individuals to connect with friends, family, and colleagues across geographical boundaries. Additionally, the integration of personal information in online banking systems enhances financial management, providing users with the ability to conduct transactions and monitor their accounts with ease. The accessibility and efficiency provided by these digital platforms contribute to time-saving and streamlined processes in both social and financial realms.
However, one paramount concern is the heightened risk of privacy breaches and theft. Individuals commonly give their data via the internet to large companies to make transactions or for other purposes, but hacking and data breaches have become alarmingly common, placing thousands of people’s sensitive information in the hands of criminals. Individuals can also be targeted by fraudsters who then manipulate the disclosed details to engage in financial scams and fraudulent activities, such as stealing people’s identity or scamming them into giving their bank details.
Furthermore, the pervasive nature of online information sharing exacerbates the risk of online harassment and stalking. The ease with which personal details are accessible can empower malicious actors to target individuals, leading to harassment, stalking, and other forms of cyberbullying. This not only jeopardises individuals' mental well-being but also raises questions about the overall safety of the online environment.
In conclusion, while the trend of sharing personal information online may offer short-term conveniences, the associated dangers far outweigh the benefits. The elevated risks of privacy breaches, fraud and online harassment underscore the need for individuals to exercise caution and adopt stringent measures to safeguard their personal information in the digital age.
326 Words
Decreasing House Sizes Essay
In this decreasing house sizes essay you have to discuss whether the building of smaller houses and outdoor space in many cities is a positive or negative development.
Remember that in an essay like this you are being asked your opinion, so it's important at some point to make it clear whether overall you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages or not.
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
Due to the increase in population in big cities, more and more people are living in small houses with very little or no outdoor space.
Is this a positive or negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.
Write at least 250 words.
Model Answer
In contemporary urban landscapes, the surge in population density has led to a notable trend: an increasing number of individuals are residing in compact accommodations, often devoid of substantial outdoor areas. This phenomenon has elicited polarised opinions regarding its implications. While some view it as a concerning development, others contend that it may carry certain benefits.
On one hand, the dwindling availability of spacious housing with ample outdoor space raises legitimate concerns because limited living quarters can contribute to feelings of claustrophobia and stress among residents. This arises as the absence of outdoor areas may impede opportunities for recreation and relaxation, potentially compromising residents' overall well-being. As a consequence, individuals might find it challenging to establish connections with nature, which is integral to mental and physical health.
Conversely, proponents of this trend argue that compact living can foster resource efficiency and a sense of community. In densely populated areas, smaller dwellings often translate to shorter commutes and reduced carbon emissions, factors of utmost importance given issues of city pollution. Moreover, the proximity of neighbours in compact housing units can facilitate social interactions and mutual support networks, thereby promoting a stronger sense of belonging and solidarity among residents.
In conclusion, the phenomenon of residing in small houses without substantial outdoor space presents a complex tapestry of advantages and drawbacks. In my view, while it may contribute to feelings of confinement and limit opportunities for outdoor activities, the potential to foster community cohesion and environmental sustainability is of upmost importance in today's world, and therefore overall it is a positive development.
259 Words
Comments
This decreasing house sizes essay would get a high score.
- It fully answers the question
- The writer has clearly organised the answer into appropriate body paragraphs, each one discussing either side of the argument.
- It has a clear opinion, given near the end of the essay.
- It has a good mix and range of lexis and grammatical structures
- There are few if any errors
'Hybrid' Types of Essay Question
There are sometimes questions that don't fit easily into a particular category as above. I've called these 'hybrid', as they are of mixed character, are composed of different elements from other types of essay, or are perhaps just worded differently.
IELTS Essay - Maintaining Old Buildings
This model essay is about old buildings and whether they should be protected or not. It is quite a difficult question, so you will need to brainstorm your ideas carefully.
Many old buildings protected by law are part of a nation’s history. Some people think they should be knocked down and replaced by news ones.
How important is it to maintain old buildings?
Should history stand in the way of progress?
Breaking the Question Down
It is basically an opinion essay, as you have to give your opinion on protecting old buildings. However, it does not ask you whether you agree or disagree.
There are two parts to this essay question so you must answer both.
1) How important is it to protect old buildings?
For the first part you have to decide which opinion you have:
- Yes, it's very important - reasons why; OR
- No, it's unimportant - reasons why
2) Should history stand in the way of progress?
In this part, you need to give your opinion on whether you think history is so important it should take priority over a country's progress.
Essay on Old Buildings
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
Many old buildings protected by law are part of a nation’s history. Some people think they should be knocked down and replaced by news ones.
How important is it to maintain old buildings?
Should history stand in the way of progress?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.
Write at least 250 words.
Model Answer
Most nations around the world have at least some, or possibly many, old buildings such as temples, churches and houses in their cities, villages and surrounding areas which have historical significance. In my opinion, it is very important to maintain these, but this does not mean progress should stop.
Preserving certain old buildings is important for several reasons. Firstly, these structures provide an insight into the history of our countries, showing us how people many centuries ago lived their lives. Without them, we could only learn by books, and it would undoubtedly be sad if this were the only way to see them. Many of these buildings are also very beautiful. Take for example the many religious buildings such as churches and temples that we see around the world. Not only this, but on a more practical level, many of these buildings provide important income to a country as many tourists visit them in great numbers.
However, this certainly does not mean that modernization should be discouraged. I believe that old buildings can be protected in tandem with progress. For example, in many circumstances we see old historic buildings being renovated whilst maintaining their original character, and being used for modern purposes. Also, in no way does history hinder progress, and in fact it is the opposite. By studying and learning about our history, we understand more about the world we live in, and this helps us to build a better future.
To conclude, I believe that it is very important to protect and preserve old buildings as we can learn about our history as can others from other countries. Such knowledge can also help us to understand how to modernise our countries in the best way.
(Words 287)
IELTS Animal Testing Essay
Here you will find an example of an IELTS animal testing essay.
In this essay, you are asked to discuss the arguments for and against animal testing, and then give your own conclusions on the issue.
This means you must look at both sides of the issue and you must also be sure you give your opinion too.
The essay is similar to an essay that says "Discuss both opinions and then give your opinion" but it is worded differently.
Take a look at the question and model answer below, and think about how the essay has been organised and how it achieves coherence and cohesion.
Animal Testing Essay
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
Examine the arguments in favour of and against animal experiments, and come to a conclusion on this issue.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.
Write at least 250 words.
Animals Testing Essay - Model Answer
Issues related to animal experimentation are frequently discussed these days, particularly in the media. It is often said that animals should not be used in testing because it is cruel and unnecessary. This essay will examine the arguments for and against animal testing.
On the one hand, the people who support these experiments say that we must do tests on animals. For instance, many famous lifesaving drugs were invented in this way, and animal experiments may help us to find more cures in the future. Indeed, possibly even a cure for cancer and AIDS. Furthermore, the animals which are used are not usually wild but are bred especially for experiments. Therefore, they believe it is not true that animal experiments are responsible for reducing the number of wild animals on the planet.
On the other hand, others feel that there are good arguments against this. First and foremost, animal experiments are unkind and cause animals a lot of pain. In addition, they feel that many tests are not really important, and in fact animals are not only used to test new medicines but also new cosmetics, which could be tested on humans instead. Another issue is that sometimes an experiment on animals gives us the wrong result because animals’ bodies are not exactly the same as our own. As a consequence, this testing may not be providing the safety that its proponents claim.
In conclusion, I am of the opinion, on balance, that the benefits do not outweigh the disadvantages, and testing on animals should not continue. Although it may improve the lives of humans, it is not fair that animals should suffer in order to achieve this.
(Words 278)
Comments
This animal testing essay would achieve a high score.
It fully answers all parts of the task- explaining the arguments 'for' in the first paragraph and the arguments 'against' in the next. Conclusions are then drawn with the writer giving their opinion in the conclusion.
It is thus very clearly organised, with each body paragraph having a central idea.
Ideas are also extended and supported by the use of reasons and some examples or further clarification. No ideas are left unclear or unexplained.
There is also some good topic related vocabulary in the animal testing essay such as 'life saving drugs' and 'bred' and a mix of complex sentences, such as adverbial clauses:
'Although it may improve the lives of humans, it is not fair that animals should suffer in order to achieve this'.
'...they feel that many tests are not really important'.
And relative clauses:
'...the animals which are used are not usually wild...'
Transitions are also used effectively to ensure there is good coherence and cohesion. For example, 'On the other hand..' indicates a change to discuss the contrasting ideas, and 'Therefore..." and 'As a consequence..' are used to give results.
Fear of Crime Essay
This fear of crime essay is based around the issue of crime prevention - specifically, is it possible to prevent crime or not?
In some essays you are simply asked to give your opinion or views. This leaves it fairly open in how to approach your answer.
However, as is always the case, you must spend some time analysing the question to make sure you are very clear about what you are being presented with.
Take a look at the question below.
Many people are too scared to leave their home because of a fear of crime.
Some people think that more should be done to prevent crime, whereas others feel that nothing can be done.
What are your views?
In this fear of crime essay you are given two sides:
- More should be done to prevent crime
- Nothing can be done
You could argue one side throughout your essay, but the best approach is to look at both sides of the issue to make sure you are fully answering the question. It is also easier to come up with more ideas if you look at both sides.
You should also decide which side you are going to agree with and make this very clear in your answer.
In this particular essay, the author's view is that more should be done to prevent crime.
This is presented in the second body paragraph (though another option would be to discuss both sides and present your own opinion only in the introduction and / or conclusion).
Take a look at the model answer below.
IELTS Fear of Crime Essay
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
Many people are too scared to leave their home because of a fear of crime. Some people think that more should be done to prevent crime, whereas others feel that nothing can be done.
What are your views?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.
Write at least 250 words.
Fear of Crime Essay - Model Answer
Over recent decades, there has been an increasing fear of crime in many countries. Although some think that there is little that can be done to reduce the levels of crime, I believe there are measures that can be implemented.
Those that believe that nothing can be done hold this view for several reasons. Firstlly, they think that a fear of crime is a state of mind perpetuated by the media. For example, we are constantly bombarded with negative news stories about crime and violence on our streets. Thus the belief is that whatever we do to reduce levels of crime, people will still be scared. Another belief is that crime is caused by wider structural issues in society that are too difficult to tackle, such as the growing income gap between the rich and the poor. Little then can be done about this issue in our capitalist societies.
However, I feel that there are solutions that will ensure people feel safer outside their homes. Governments can increase the numbers of police in local communities and more ‘neighbourhood watch’ schemes should be encouraged, both of which increase safety and deter crime. The media should also be encouraged to present more positive stories in the news about how crime is being tackled rather than the focus on the negative. In terms of the structural issues, governments should attempt to tackle issues of poverty through better income distribution.
To conclude, there is a widely held view that nothing can be done to prevent crime. In contrast to this opinion, I would argue that there are options available that would help prevent crime and therefore reduce the fear of crime.
(277 Words)
Communication Technology Essay
This Communication Technology Essay is about how relationships have been impacted. This is the question:
Nowadays, the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology.
In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make?
Is this a positive or negative development?
Understanding the Task
You should be able to see that there are two parts that need to be answered:
- In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make?
- Is this a positive or negative development?
The first part is about general effects and the second part is asking for your opinion about this.
So it doesn't easily fit into an essay 'type'.
Don't worry about this. If you have learned to recognize different types of essay but you find one that does not seem to fit any, just focus on working out exactly what you are being asked.
So in this one you have to brainstorm some ideas about the way relationships have changed.
Stating your Opinion
For the second part you need to decide if it is positive or negative, or both.
Choosing one side and writing about it is probably the simplest way to approach it. In other words:
- Body 1: The way relationships have changed
- Body 2: The negative impacts (or positive)
Although it says 'positive or negative', it's YOUR opinion, so if you decide it is both it is fine to say this as long as you make it clear.
In this model Communication Technology Essay, the writer has stated that it is both positive and negative.
- Body 1: The way relationships have changed (positive)
- Body 2: The negative impacts
When you take a look at the model answer, you'll see the writer has discussed the new types of relationships and labelled them as positive, but then gone on to look at the negative sides.
There are usually several ways you can approach and organize an essay, not just one. As long as it is coherent and answers the question, that is fine.
Now take a look at the model answer and the comments below.
Communication Technology Essay
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology.
In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make?
Is this a positive or negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.
Write at least 250 words.
Model Answer:
It is evident that technology has transformed the ways of communication and influenced relationships in a variety of ways. In my opinion, there are both positive and negative effects of this.
The principal way in which relationships have been affected is that they tend to be at a distance rather than face-to-face. The advent of the internet has made it easy for business owners to communicate across the world, with remote job opportunities one call away. Online educational programs are available for people residing in different countries, and it is no longer a dream to attend live classes from the comfortable environment of a home. Not only this, the social platforms like Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube have revolutionized relationships, be it making online friendships with people from other countries or staying in touch with loved ones. Based on this perspective, technology has influenced relationships in a positive way.
However, despite these advances, the quality of interaction has significantly declined in several respects. If people are developing most of their relationships online, this means that they may also have less fact-to-face contact. This kind of contact on a personal level is important for human beings to feel wanted and a part of society. This may be a particular problem for children's social development as they used to be seen playing out on the streets but are now too often indoors. Technology can also mean people are detached from what is going on around them even when they are out, as can be seen by the many people staring into their mobile phones as they travel or walk around.
In conclusion, technology has brought some positive development in the ways people interact with each other. However, there are also some negative impacts of technology on the types of relationships people make.
(299 Words)
Comments
This Communication Technology Essay would get a good score for the following reasons.
It fully answers the question, setting out the way the types of relationships people make have changed (they tend to be 'online') and then expanding on this by giving examples.
A balanced opinion is also clearly explained, with the impacts in the first body paragraph seen to be positive, and the second body paragraph dedicated to explaining the negative points.
The essay is also clearly organised and coherent, with the opinion clearly stated and the body paragraphs clearly each focused on one central idea.
There is also good vocabulary used and good collocations. For example:
- advent of the internet
- remote job opportunities
- social platforms
- revolutionized relationships
- people are detached from
The grammar shows accuracy and a wide range of structures are used.
Influence of Children's Friends Essay
In this IELTS essay you have to discuss how children's friends influence them and what parents can do to make sure they have a good influence.
This is the question:
The friends that children have are a very important part of their lives.
What kinds of influence may children’s friends have on them?
What can parents do to ensure that their children’s friends are a good influence on them?
Answering the Question
You should be able to see that there are two aspects that you need to discuss in your essay:
- The kinds of influence children’s friends may have on them
- The best way for parents to make sure that their children’s friends are a good influence on them
To answer this essay question you simply need to brainstorm some ideas that directly answer each question.
Try to think of two or three ideas to support each of the questions, and make sure you have some further support to explain each idea fully. You can use examples to do this if you like.
Organising your Answer
For an IELTS essay you wouldn’t normally have more than three body paragraphs.
So you could have one body paragraph about each aspect (2 body paragraphs). For example:
- Influence of children's friends
- Parents input
Or perhaps if you are going to discuss both the negative and positive influence of children’s friends, you could have one body paragraph about each of these and then a final body paragraph explaining the way parents can make sure the influence is positive.
- Positive influence of children's friends
- Negative influence of children's friends
- Parents input
Now take a look at the model answer. Which organisation does it follow?
Influence of Children's Friends Essay
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
The friends that children have are a very important part of their lives.
What kinds of influence may children’s friends have on them?
What can parents do to ensure that their children’s friends are a good influence on them?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.
Write at least 250 words.
Model Answer
An essential part of childhood is friendship and most children realise the need to have a friend or two to make life more fun, especially in school or their immediate community. However, the influence of friends can be both positive and negative, so parents should find ways to ensure their children’s friendships are not detrimental to them.
On the positive side, a child’s friends can motivate them to try activities they might not do on their own because of fear or embarrassment. Thus, some children dabble in sports or the arts because their friends are doing the same. Friends are also a source of help and encouragement when things are tough in school or the family. By lending their expertise or providing sympathy, friends are a blessing in difficult times.
Despite this, on the negative side, some friends can steer a child in the wrong direction. Bullying is something many children copy from their friends until they become full-fledged bullies themselves. There are also many vices children pick up from the wrong crowd in school or their community, such as pornography, drinking, smoking, and even overindulging in video games.
Since children should have a good set of friends, parents must do their part to ensure that happens. One way is for parents to know who these friends are, by inquiring about them and learning what they do together. Having these friends over for a meal also allows parents to observe and determine the influence such friends have on their children. Another important task for parents is to educate their children on moral values. There will come a time when parents will no longer be able to dictate who their children choose as friends. But if their children understand right and wrong and are aware of the telltale signs that they are being misled, they will know who to keep and who to drop from their inner circle.
To sum up, friendship is an important part of a child’s formative years as good friends can help a child become better in the different aspects of life. However, parents must be actively involved in monitoring and teaching their children about selecting their friends well to ensure their kids do not fall into the wrong crowd.
(373 Words)
Comments
The essay is well-written and argued. It fully answers both parts of the question, with plenty of relevant support. It’s also logically organised, and so easy to read and understand.
The good use of lexis (vocabulary) shows that this person has an excellent grasp of English. With your lexis, it’s important to get the word forms correct. These examples show how the writer is good at doing this:
- detrimental
- motivate
- embarrassment
- encouragement
Collocations are also important to end up with correct sentences. If a word collocates with another word, that means it commonly goes together with it. For instance, a certain preposition may go with certain words (depending on the context). For example:
- influence of
- dabble in
- in difficult times
- copy from
- involved in
If a writer knows which words commonly collocate, then they are able to write accurate sentences.
The essay is fairly long (373 words) so you'd need to be a very competent writer to achieve this. If you are a weaker writer, you can still follow the same essay format but you would want to reduce the amount of ideas you are placing in as support.