Волшебный Новый год превращает будни в сказку. Этот праздник необходим каждому. Тайная сила праздника чувствуется даже загодя; она полезна для здоровья, это лекарство от грусти-печали, суеты-маяты…
О, это звёздные мгновения радости: Новый год и Рождество – лучшие дни в году… Праздники наполняют сердце теплом и светом, делают нас счастливее… Зимняя магия, делающая мир лучше…
*** Милые девушки, когда будете загадывать желание на Новый год - похудеть, постарайтесь хотя-бы не наворачивать в это время - иначе дедушка Мороз не разберёт, что вы там мямлите.
*** - Ой, какой животик! Мальчик или девочка?
`````- Оливье!
*** Новости. На новогоднем балу мальчика в костюме солёного огурца укусил пьяный трудовик.
*** Вчера загадал новогодние желания, а сегодня на морозе губа треснула… Намёк понял.
*** У кого ещё нет новогоднего настроения - попробуйте съесть дождик с ёлки. Не знаю, как это работает, но моему коту помогает.
*** В Новый год так хочется пожелать себе и всем окружающим чего-то светлого, доброго и радостного… ну, например, чтоб у соседа снизу сломался перфоратор...
О псах в Новый год
Взрывы, крики, фейерверки ``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` Ненавистны местным псам.``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` Злость их слышно, как поверки –``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` По собачьим голосам.
Надоели псам шутихи;``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` Мерзок звук, хоть свет туши;``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` Скоро ль будут ночи тихи,``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` Чтоб полаять для души?
Пожалел свою собаку,````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` Со двора привёл домой.```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` Пёс взъерошен, лезет в драку. ``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` Успокойся, милый мой, -
Все устали от шумихи,``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` Суеты и маяты.``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` Лаемся порой, как психи,```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` И скулим, совсем как ты…
Новый год в больнице
Умолкли разговоры,```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` Исчез гулять народ,````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` Пустые коридоры – ```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` В больнице Новый год.
Безмолвные палаты.````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` Тишь-гладь, как у мышат.```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` И белые халаты````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` Почти не мельтешат.
Лишь на посту сестричка``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` Для помощи одна,``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` ```````` Торчит её косичка –`````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` Гуляй и жги, страна.
Сквозь процедурной стену``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` Уходит старый год.````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` Ему сейчас на смену``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` Другой, борзой придёт.
Проснутся коридоры,``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` Вернутся доктора,`````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` Наступит скоро, споро``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` Горячая пора.
О суеверье
Нарисуем глазки, ротик –`````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` На листочке обормотик;``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` Бородища, красный нос –``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
Получился дед Мороз.
Пусть вы даже перестарки,``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` Принесёт он вам подарки:``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` Или денег сундучок,``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` Иль элитный коньячок.
Недоверье брось тетерье,``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` И не верьте в суеверья`````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` Про кикимор, водяных,````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` Про нечистых и чудных?
Всё нам правда несподручна –``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` Лишь бы весело, нескучно…``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` Ищем ада чудеса,``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` Преисподней голоса.
Зря сластун и греховодник,``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` К развлечениям угодник,``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` В прошлом юный пионер``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` Был немножко суевер:
Ох, обманут хитрой сказкой…````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` Если ж к деду не с опаской,``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` Заморозит, душегуб,``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` Превратит вдруг в мёрзлый труп…
Надо слушать голос Божий,``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` А не злюке краснорожей…``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` Одеваться потеплей!````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` Будь же здравым, без соплей!
Ждём
Снегом пушистом за год загрузив,````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` Ох, удивила зима.``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` Радуйся, город; ты очень красив: `````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` Улицы в белом, дома.
Мы утонули в холодном снегу, `````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` Кажется, вечно, по гроб.``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` Бабке ворчащей пролезть помогу```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` Через огромный сугроб.
Куча за кучей, прыжок за прыжком,````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` Ветер нам «Хлясть!» по щеке…``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` В рожу политика кину снежком,````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` Что на рекламном щите.
Он нас завёл в ледяную страну,````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` Тьму компрадорской зимы. ``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` Вылезем? Да! Не дадим слабину,```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` Ведь православные мы.
Я не струхну и с пути не сверну````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` Из модернистской тюрьмы…````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` Ждём восхитительную весну;`````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` Будем счастливыми мы.
Про крутые игрушки на ёлку смотрите в моём дзен-канале две последние забаненные статьи: конец первой крамольной шуточной – про футбол, вторая – без показов, видимо, за ссылку на первую, которая с приколами. Пожелайте мне, чтоб в новом году модераторы платформы и её алгоритмы не пускали на ветер мои труды для граждан великой России...
Кстати, советую, если нужны качественные недорогие японские гитары, то обращайтесь в «Гуитарес.ру».
А теперь чуть-чуть анекдотов про детей:
*** Электрическая вращающаяся ёлка - для детей, которым лень водить хоровод.
*** Ребятки, если Снегурочка после второго стакана водки говорит, что ей жарко, значит, она настоящая.
*** …Письмо: Дедушка Мороз, ты в прошлый Новый год пришел к нам с какой-то пьяной девкой, вымыл руки в компоте, съел всю еду из собачей миски, а потом с криком "А теперь в снежки" стал кидаться голубцами! Мне понравилось... приходи ещё. Витя 6 лет.
*** В новогоднюю ночь мамочка уговаривает своего
сыночка лечь спать:
- Смотри, вон и тети в телевизоре уже раздеваются ...
*** - Мурзик, давай скажем папе с мамой, что и конфеты ты все съел. Какая тебе разница, ведь люлей за поваленную ёлку тебе уже не избежать.
Перезвон бокалов, таинственный вальс снежинок и задорный смех... Шумный, волшебный, веселый праздник. Пускай и жизнь у нас будет такая же, как это шампанское: легкая, волнующая, ароматная и бьющая через край!
Всем добра, мира и любви. Пусть в наших домах всегда будет тепло и уютно, а в сердцах царят радость и счастье.
Впереди чистая и белая поляна, засыпанная только что выпавшим снегом. Проложим же на ней свою тропинку, ведущую к желаемым целям. С праздником!
Зима — это и сугробы, в которых завязнешь, и снег залезет в обувь и трусы. Желаю в новом году не застревать в текучке и рутине. Пусть даже в сложной ситуации всегда найдётся выход. С праздником!
В Новый год и Рождество мы остро чувствуем ход времени. Пусть часы не спешат, когда вам нужна пауза, и ускоряются, когда мы полны сил. И пусть у вас всегда будет достаточно времени на мечту и её воплощение. Желаю Вам всё успеть!
Пусть наши мечты в новом году будут такими же яркими, как северное сияние в зимнюю ночь. Пусть вокруг всегда будет красота, которая вдохновит вас продолжать идти к важным целям. С Новым годом!