Problems in relationships may not be resolved for a long time, and outbreaks of conflicts arise again and again.
Even despite the psychological stability and literacy of one of the partners, as well as his ability to rationally look and react to reality, but nevertheless, there are often unaffordable situations that a mentally healthy partner does not handle. It is very important to understand who you are dealing with. They can be spouses, parents, children, colleagues and friends.
A checklist of what should alert in a relationship and seriously think about being more vigilant, careful or breaking up with the aggressor.
1. When communicating with a partner, you express your thoughts, desires, emotions aloud with caution or fear.
2. Your partner's mood often changes, the swings are so strong that he is unable to control sudden gusts of anger and rage.
3. In the process of clarifying and dialogues, you are often imposed a sense of guilt and have to apologize even when you think you have done nothing wrong.
4. The partner does not recognize, ridicules your strengths and devalues achievements.
5. Veiling under a joke, the partner builds his caustic phrases with cynicism and sarcasm.
6. For any little thing, you are punished with emotional coldness, indifference, ignoring or anger.
7. You notice that your desires, needs, feelings are neglected.
8. You have a feeling that your communications are governed by rules that only your partner understands.
9. You do not see clear prospects and an understandable scenario for the development of your relationship in the future and live like a "powder keg".
10. You notice that you are regularly restricted or deprived of something.
11. The partner constantly finds fault with you, follows you (even in the online space), makes comments, criticizes, accuses.
12. After or during communication with a partner, you experience bodily responses (fever, cold, pores, tingling, shortness of breath, pressure, headache, increased addiction), although your health indicators are normal.
13. You have become ill more often since you got closer to this partner and began to communicate more often.
14. Despite the fact that your partner regularly hurts you, you still feel sorry for him, forgive him every time and give him a chance again and again.
If you answered "yes" 2 or less times, then your relationship is balanced and brings you a lot of positive emotions. There may be unpleasant moments, but usually you discuss these situations and moments in which something needs to be corrected so that there is even more mutual understanding and comfort.
If you answered "yes" 3-5 times, then your relationship is most likely quite tense. Analyze what objective reasons make a partner behave in this way. If, for your part, you have already done everything possible, and the partner is not going to change anything, then think about whether it is worth putting up with it further.
If you answered "yes" 6-14 times, then your relationship is rather toxic and significantly poisoning your life. Being under constant stress, you risk burning out, getting depressed, losing your taste for life and activating chronic diseases. In this situation, it is better to seek professional help as soon as possible to understand your situation, to figure how you can get out of the quagmire of a toxic environment with minimal damage to your physical and mental health.
If you need professional advice, write to me to direct, I will be happy to help you.
Автор: Светлана Варфоломеева
Психолог, Супервизор, Реалотерапевт Аддиктолог
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