The day was oppressively hot, a feature unique to a mid-summer day in Sacramento. The air was pregnant with the scent of the river, and the sun bore down relentlessly. Some tourists on the street were trying to figure out the way to a historical building, now abandoned, that had become popular. I knew the way, but I chose not to assist them because I was too tired to interact with anyone.
It was the 7 year of my solitude. What can I tell? Nothing. It feels pretty good to be alone all the time. When you are living by yourself, alone in big but empty mansion, you have all the time of the world for yourself.
I started feeling intensely lonely when I was 15. I had never expected this loneliness to accompany me throughout my life. But this day was unique. The intense heat, the heavy air, the unrelenting sun - it was as though nature was forcing me to reconsider the choices I had made and the path I had chosen. I had isolated myself from everyone I knew since I was 19
As I pondered upon my actions, I couldn't help but question, "Was this the right course of action?" Alas, the answer resounded with clarity - "No.”
I started walking to the beach side. It was around 8pm, streets were deserted. I asked myself again “Is that a right diecision?” Answer still was No”. As i take a deep breathe i sense a sea and the heat of the streets in the air.
I began to ponder why we always have to make choices. Do we really have control over the choices we make? People always assume that they are in control of their choices. But that's not always true. Sometimes we choose out of fear. Sometimes we make choices we never thought we would.
My life always was no subject to me. And I thought it was time to change that. It was time for me to take control of my destiny. As I felt the heat on my skin, I realized I was feeling something new. The 'chimes of freedom' were ringing. I felt a sense of self-awakening. There was no more oblivion.
As I walked home, I played Bob Dylan's "Chimes of Freedom". I opened the large window to see plenty of people walking down the streets. I lit a cigarette, even though I had quit smoking two years ago. I felt a sense of freedom filling my body and mind.
In this moment of stark realization, I was enveloped by an odd sense of tranquility. It was a peace born out of acceptance, out of the understanding that the path I had chosen was the one I was destined to tread, that the choices I had made were the ones I was destined to make. And with this newfound peace, I felt a resurgence of purpose, a renewed sense of self, and a rebirth of hope.
This story was inspired by Joan Didion, and I wrote it using AI. Artificial intellect helped me to choose the right words and made this little story about the feeling of freedom, more structered.