Errare humanum est, sed in errare perseverare diabolicum

Often attributed to Seneca; this phrase means "To err is human, but to persist [in error] is diabolical."

To Err -Make mistakes- is human, right?

But we as humans also possess a consciousness [I am using this term in a very large context, as a neuroscientist, its more complicated , but I will not debate this topic here].

This " consciousness " helps us to decerns the good from the bad and that's how we can judge that that specific action was an error/mistake.

In science, its called trial and error.
Same thing, you make an experiment, try to test a hypothesis, make a mistake, try again.

In life, its very similar in my opinion, We make a mistake or misjudgement of a situation, realise it was not okey, and then we are supposed to learn from that mistake and not repeat it.

Its a very important concept in evolution, isn't it? this how you survive/d.
You and your friend approach a snake, your friend get bitten by the snake and get sick. You know that approaching the snake was an error, and you wont repeat it again (Hopefully) [Thankfully we have memory as a cognitive process in our brain].

In terms of survival , the error is learnt quickly, but in other circumstances, this can take a longer time.

Since I am blogging for myself here, I decided to talk about this in terms of relationships to others,

After all, as humans, we live in society and we constantly interact with others.
Some of the mistakes made with others in these circumstances are also quickly learned , but when they are mixed with emotions, it becomes a little more difficult to stay rational [I was driven to spiral in this error loop for a while].


More specifically, when it comes to non-platonic relationships ,I have noticed that I repeated one mistake over and over , although I have realized from the beginning that it was an error, I still didnt use my rational thoughts to get out of it. Its almost like I wanted to try again to see how this ends.
Spoiler : It ends with pain.
I don't know how many trials I have had, until my last encounter.
This time, not only basic emotions were involved but mixed with strong feelings I haven't had felt in years ,
Of course, the dopamine is here to serve, I wanted to stay in that state and experience these feelings over and over.
This happened in a very stressful period in my life preceding this event including health problems, so my brain just shut down.

I have come to the conclusion that I needed that ONE LAST ERROR to stop persisting in this.
I needed that "CHOC" , a slap to the face , an emotional breakdown to identify the error I was making [i.e not loving myself enough].

I have also understood the power of emotions in this learning journey.

During the past errors, there was not a strong emotional bound to them, so thats may be why the lesson was not learnt until this time.
I needed it now.

TO conclude this post, I just wanted to say : Yes error is human, and yes persisting in it might sound and look stupid for you and your surroundings,
May be it was not the right time for you to understand it.
May be you needed more trials to understand the deep root cause of it
May be you were not ready yet, psychologically speaking

I want to say, that repeating a mistake is as human as making it once [Of course if it can hurt other people feelings, please think twice and try to avoid this].

When the cup is full and the right time has arrived, you WILL learn.