– God help me...
- To win the Senate election, Joe?
– No, I will do it myself – everything was worked out in the last election, the Republicans will not even be allowed to make a sound, we will vote the way we need, and we will call everyone else terrorists!
– Then what is required of me?
– There must be my note about the election somewhere! You can't trust anyone with anything, you do everything yourself! Yes, where did she go, for God's sake?
– Joe, isn't that what you're holding in your hand?
– That's what the all-seeing means! You saved me again, Lord!
– Joe, I'm just your vice president, I'm still far from God in every sense!
– Kamala? I'm sorry, I didn't admit it in my sleep!
– Joe, we're actually in the Oval Office and we have the Senate election headquarters here! The election is tomorrow!
– Even so? And I thought I was dreaming! So what do we have written here? Yeah... Russians... Russians again... it is necessary that the Russians interfere in the elections! What for? They only spoil everything! We can't let them get close to our elections, we'll do everything ourselves!
– Joe, of course, no one will allow them to our elections! We, in general, will not allow anyone to our elections, be sure of that! But you need to be safe! If, I repeat, if the Trumpists start winning, we will declare the elections invalid because the Russians interfered in them!
– Yeah! Cleverly devised! And how do we prove it? Shall we catch it hot? Shall we take their agents? Will we track the hacking of our servers?
– Well, something like that, but we won't prove anything to anyone - gentlemen are always taken at their word! But you're right about something, Joe – you definitely need hotter...
– Preferably not too deep fried and with blood...
– Not in this sense, Joe! Let's pick up a couple of more terrible homeless people, wash them, let them learn some Russian words and call them agents of the Kremlin! In the frame there is a balalaika, vodka, pickle and mountains of pre-stamped ballots! Great picture, God forbid we use it!
– And where will we get such a number of ready-made ballots?
– Joe, everything has been ready for a long time, all the dead have already voted for us! There is also everyone who does not want to lose their residence permit, as well as our potential citizens from Ukraine who have been issued green cards in absentia during the elections! We have already won, but we will not rush – the trumps need to be thrown in by the end of the game!
– Then why are we sitting here if everything has already been decided?
– Joe, it's not enough to win – you still need to stay in power! We must organize protest actions and storm the Capitol ourselves after our victory!
– Kamala, why?
– Joe, do you really think we will be forgiven for the second consecutive seizure of power in the White House? As soon as the results are announced, this will begin! You can't stop the chaos, lead it! We will make them play by our rules in all directions! We have to think through all the moves of the enemy and beat ahead of the curve!
– Kamala, and if they don't vote, what will we do with these pieces of paper?
– Joe, America has no choice – us or no one! Didn't say anything? Didn't come? Didn't make your choice? We'll do it for you!
– They can sue, Kamala! You know our courts, they will devour them with bones, just let them have their way!
– We will not give anyone the will! Last time they played in our team, they will never get away, they will make any decisions we need!
– I see you've already thought of everything here! My God, where is my most important piece of paper? I've always been lying in the most visible place! How am I going to lead America without her now? After all, the most important question is written there!
"Joe, there's something sticking out of the right jacket pocket!"
– Kamala, what would I do without you? Yeah... in-o-o-o-o-T... crumpled badly... well, nothing, you can still make out the words... that we boo... boo... Yeah, what are we going to do with Petrov and Boshirov? Did I say something wrong? Why does the office smell so strange? Hey, where are you going? These are not doors, but windows! Kamala, what happened?
– Sir, you can't scare people like that! It was necessary to start with something softer and more neutral, for example, with the Third World War and the nuclear Apocalypse!
– My God, are these two scarier than nuclear war?
– I'm afraid, sir, if the Russians throw them into battle, we will have nothing but shame in this election! God save America!
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