The word "strong" I take in quotation marks because there is no such force in the world that someone could prevent. It's not the power that gets in the way of women, but what they take for it.
I will try to explain by example. (Examples until not concern marriage, and concern simply novels).
"Take it in stride»
Often women think that taking the initiative is a strength, and passively waiting for the initiative from another is a weakness. Therefore, when they invite a man somewhere or persistently let him know that they like him, it seems to them that they behave like strong women.
And when a man begins to flirt and set conditions, such women sigh, "well, I was too strong, and so he became weak" and then they give advice to other women, " you have to be weaker, otherwise you will change places with a man."
In fact, everything is turned upside down.
Let's start with the fact that the initiative of most women show impatience and the inability to endure loneliness, sometimes from excruciating boredom, from the desire to quickly get what you want, that is, from the very real weakness. From this weakness they are not able to wait for this weakness to wait for them is nothing, fans do not go after them, they are little in demand, and if demand, it is not those, and if those somehow not so, and you want to step lively and hurry up, like in the movies, in general, these women take the initiative, because they need more, and men still. Therefore, men are in a stronger position, and this strong position gives them an advantage. It is women's weakness that leads to the fact that women are at a disadvantage, and men begin to extort additional conditions for themselves.
To think that if this woman, who was not very attractive to a man, sat with downcast eyes, he would be interested in her, is again to produce illusions, and this happens only from weakness. Not by force.
Force - this unobtrusively give understand the chosen man, that he lovely detached, but not pass through and not tormented, expecting his response reaction, not extort this reaction, and not lapse into hysterics, if reaction there is no or she much more sluggish, than like would, and seriously with humor and be ready forget.
Even more power — not just to make it clear that the person is cute, but also to know what and how you can operate, providing the reaction that you want. But this is — aerobatics. And to most women-not, until fat, be would live, i.e. learn to would although would not deceive themselves, that weakness — this force.
"Rude to build»
Often women try to voice all their wishes, more like conditions, in a rather sharp and rigid form. In any words men that they don't like, they can burst into a tirade about how they should behave, what they can say and what is unacceptable, describe its advantages and angrily demand respect. If a man retires, such women conclude that they were too strong and intransigent, and men are "accustomed to the weak and submissive."
To describe who you are and what you are, how you can talk to you, and how you can not, this is not a strength, but a real weakness. This is the fear that you suddenly say something wrong and you feel humiliated, crushed, this is the fear that a man does not really respect you and you look in his eyes insignificant and it is necessary to tell in words how you really are significant and how you appreciate yourself.
A strong man does not tell, as with him need themselves to wage, he assumes, that respectful to him attitude — rule, as and his respectful attitude to different (force provides opportunity respect other, not wait catch). And if a strong man sees that he is treated disrespectfully, he politely says goodbye, without explaining anything. The only exception when something can be explained is if the other asks for an explanation, asks and tries to understand what is wrong, but even then an exception should be made for cases where there may have been a simple misunderstanding rather than real disrespect. You don't have to explain anything to disrespectful people. Those who indulge in disputes and begin educational conversations, are not able to just leave, are afraid of losing a person, even if he is a CAD, or do not trust themselves, doubt whether their dignity has been hurt or not, hesitate, produce illusions that if you talk and explain, everything will change, that is, they show dependence and obedience in fact, and not strength, as they think. A hysterical and scandalous woman is not a strong woman, she is a weak woman who can neither leave nor calm down, that is, doubly weak.
The power is to behave calmly and politely, to trust your reactions, not to pay attention to trifles, not to be driven into an empty place, and if something really seemed unacceptable, calmly distance yourself, without educational conversations, making it clear that such communication does not bring pleasure, and not thinking that the other person all his life waiting for you to explain That was his business.
"To dominate" or "to drag all on itself»
Often women, hiding from themselves a great interest in the relationship, take on too much. They invite the man to themselves or organize a date. Without waiting for a call from a man, they themselves specify whether the meeting was canceled, they are active all the time, usually rude to look "independent", they "steer" and before, and after, and in the process, and then, seeing that the man has become quite passive and behaves like a Prince, offended by his "strength", although this again — extreme weakness.
The weakness of being interested in a relationship is much greater than the other participant, to be dependent much more, but the main weakness is to hide this fact from yourself. If you are more interested, but honestly state it, you are able to do something to correct the balance. But if you hide it from yourself, you are unarmed by your weakness.
To dominate is the opposite of" carrying everything, " to dominate is to direct the actions of another, not to do everything for and for him as a servant. To harass is not to steer, it is to harass. When a woman asks if her boyfriend remembers the meeting, she shows weakness and uncertainty. For one thing, she doubted he remembered, and for another, she wanted to make sure he hadn't forgotten, or she couldn't feel safe. If she had been stronger, she would have cared less, her complexes and previous injuries would not have flashed a red emergency light from any doubt about the feelings of another, she would have been serene and able to go about her own business (and her head would not have been occupied only with love experiences).
I. e. force-this again quite another, and if ' so, that woman "carring on itself relations", it is important admit itself, that this from weakness and dependence, and is by no means from forces. To stop being a "scapegoat" you need to build strength, and not become even weaker, as sometimes advised.
"Send to hell»
Often women rough break up, and then endlessly reminded of what broke the relationship due to the fact that he was too strong and did not want to endure, and endured, it would have been still in a relationship. In fact, you have to be very weak to do something, endlessly regret it and all the time to justify, telling everyone that you did the right thing or you did so, because unlike others-very strong. A strong man either does not or does and does not justify himself to himself or to others.
Besides, breaking up with a scandal is always a weakness. A strong man from relations quietly moves away, politely saying goodbye, before as these relations will turn into hell, and most often no one not accuses and not hates (he not gives themselves wary of offending and to hate not for that). He knows that every minute of the relationship was in a sober memory and a strong mind, and therefore was responsible, and if he stayed in this relationship, no matter how many — three days or three years, he did it on his own. Therefore, to be suddenly in the role of a deceived victim, who suddenly found an enemy next to him, or for a long time could not escape from captivity, a strong man can not. And if this happened to him, a strong man will attribute it to his weakness, but not to his strength. He will tell "I became weak, so with me such the beginning of occur, need to recuperate." If a person lives in hell, but for some reason can not leave, it is not a strength, but a weakness, and he must understand this. Possible lie to yourself that you are too kind, careful, responsible, and you can honestly say that you are dependent, afraid of change and not confident, that is, you can not give your weaknesses for strength, then it will be easier to get rid of weaknesses.
A fight or a scandal at parting is a real weakness. Men, too, are often weak and very rarely do they manage to behave nobly when their feelings are hurt. But the fact that few people are able to maintain strength in a close relationship and not fall into dependence does not make this weakness a strength, it is still a weakness. And women do not need to be mistaken about this. The stronger the person, the more problems can be avoided, even under the most difficult circumstances.