I once counseled a girl with extremely low self-esteem. She had always thought of herself as plain, with a pale appearance, too thin, and thin hair.
Plus, her boyfriend just dumped her. She wrote that he was always shy of her. Never introduced with friends and colleagues at work, in social. she was not announced as his girlfriend. Of course, she resented it.
Because of the hard breakup, her self-esteem was below the plinth, and the first place she needed to focus all her energies was to increase her confidence in herself, her appearance, mind, beauty, and talents.
I asked her to send me her best photos. But as it turned out-they are not! She doesn't have beautiful photos, because "Where do they come from if I'm ugly?!..»
Girls, don't get me wrong. No need to blame guys for not telling their friends about you on social. networks. Remember-men love eyes, and it is important to be proud of the appearance of his girlfriend. And if you have the most beautiful photos, but there are plenty of unattractive – why would your boyfriend about you to tell?... The fun of this activity it will not bring.
Online, she looked like A bluestocking. Nondescript photo, wrong name "Horse". Her Facebook page looked extremely unpresentable.
Why would a girl call herself a "Horse"? Yes, she liked horses – but why call herself that?? This name suggests that nothing special you do not differ, and diminutive, even more, reduces your dignity.
Call yourself "beautiful stranger", "Lady in red", "Dazzling brunette" or "model", in extreme cases. And do not even think that modesty becomes a girl. Yes, it is to the face, if you want to wear a low-cut blouse, pink mini-skirt, and black fishnet stockings. But if you need to present yourself – so present using common sense!
Many girls do not even think that they look like a "Bluestocking".
"Well, what am I "Bluestocking"!? I love to wear a short skirt, go with friends to the club, drink three liters of beer and famously dance all night" - believe me, this is not an indicator that you are not a "Bluestocking" for outsiders. If you do not consider yourself beautiful and able to charm, if you are not an ACE in the science of "self – Presentation" - you are the "Bluestocking".
Cinacalcet our "Horse" was shown in everything. Job-teacher of physics. Hobbies-reading. And in the end to all the photos taken by students in the classroom: gray pantsuit, minimal makeup, lack of properly applied blush, hair without styling-a nightmare!
Her task for the first month was to learn how to apply the right makeup in several ways. As we know, there is a day, evening, age, makeup for photoshoots and other types. Plus, even in the style of "Oriental", "Romantic", "Cat's eye", "Smoky eyes", "Nude", etc. What suits you best?
Every self-respecting woman is sure to try all the styles and find out what it looks perfect. Why? Because the pursuit of beauty perfection is endless. And the more you do for yourself and your appearance made the higher your self-esteem. The higher the self-esteem the better you are treated by other people. The better you are treated by others-the more opportunities you have in life (and the choice of men, friends, business partners, etc.).
Therefore, you need to improve your skills not only professionally, but also in terms of creating your style and image. By the way, this knowledge is also beneficial in the profession, as an impressive – looking woman who knows how to apply herself and appreciates herself-often promoted, offer creative types of work. That is why our cadets after classes on their image and development of communication skills (this is the first three months of our course) change direction in the work, grow in the profession, and as a bonus begin to earn more.
The second task for our heroine was to make a few photoshoots. Yes, it is necessary to spend money, time and effort. Set aside a few days. Call every photo Studio in town. Look at the forums, some photographers recommend. Correctly determine the ratio of price and quality. Sleep, make a spectacular makeup, choose the right image. It is desirable to make two or three photoshoots, at different masters. Yes, at someone on it all monthly salary will leave – but it is worth it!
And at the end of all, you need to put this miracle photo on your honor roll in your favorite social toils.
How after this climbed self-esteem our heroine-to describe not d. She feels it's a lot cooler than defending a doctoral dissertation. Then, for the first time in her life, she was sent many, many, many admiring letters about her transformation... When you do it yourself you will understand what I'm talking about.
Then we worked on the Internet presentation. As it turned out, our heroine could tell a lot of interesting things about herself. Fascinating work, love of painting, skating, belly dancing.
By the way, if there is nothing interesting in your life – why do you think that men will be interested in entering it?
Yes, you are interested in the best candidates for husbands. But these candidates have a rich and exciting life (gym, Billiards, hunting, fishing, traveling). And with this busy life, you have to compete.
Will he prefer spending time with you his favorite football?
What is so interesting you can tell him and show?
If you are Madam "Bluestocking" - paint yourself and your life with bright colors. Go to a belly dance, do yoga, go to English courses, or some business training... Fill your life with vivid impressions. And do not say that you are forty and belly dancing is not for you. It is for you! Even if you retire-you are shown to dance.
By the way, the most successful photo of our cadet was made in a suit for dance. Performing graceful "steps" in front of the photographer – the photoshoot was beyond praise. Many old friends could not believe that in the photo in a suit with a bare stomach really it!
After several successful photos, she finally believed that she was beautiful.
Well, getting acquainted with her online, men began to ask if she was a model. And men can be understood, because almost every one of them wants to meet a model, even if he is a University Professor...
Further its studies on rate went actively and fruitfully. As with the first positive results the girl always has enthusiasm for further work on herself.
A couple of months later she met a Russian top Manager from London.
She picked up her English and accepted his marriage proposal and went to live with him.
Yes, if you never considered herself a beauty, if you got dumped is no reason to be offended on life, and another five years to lick their wounds.
Why waste your precious time?
If you consider yourself a "defective product" in the market of brides – believe me, it speaks for you your RESENTMENT. Resentment at yourself, at your ex-boyfriend, at your destiny ... and resentment never tells the truth. She always exaggerates everything, denigrates and puts in the wrong light.
You need to pull yourself together and actively work on your self-esteem, self-presentation, get the first positive results – and continue active education! And the results will be where they go!