In psychological practice very often meets the type of women, which themselves their guise of and behavior attract to itself highly the negative circumstances. And there are so many of them that it seems as if such ladies unconsciously or consciously do everything to make trouble happen to them both in personal life and in work. The life of such women turns into a constant negative stress that destroys their lives. What do you need to do to break out of this vicious circle?
Realize that you are a victim
The most important step you have to take is to admit that you are a victim. Many people do not want to believe that they live in this role all the time, and they like this role very much, as strange as it sounds. Your facial expression, body posture, voice say that you are proud of this state, otherwise, you would not have lived with it for years. Do you want to live differently, enjoy life and not suffer? Then take the second step.
Take responsibility for yourself
It sounds simple, but it is quite difficult to do. If you were looking for someone or something to hurt you, then stop looking for it. By blaming circumstances and other people, you shift the blame to them and continue to revel in the role of victim. Stop and accept the fact that your feelings, thoughts, and moods are your own responsibility. You decide what to experience in certain circumstances. So by taking responsibility, you are taking another important step toward not being a victim.
Be patient
You will not be able to get out of the victim state in one day, no matter how much you want it. It takes time to stop blaming circumstances. Be patient, it will help you determine in which situations you are a victim. Patience will give you a break from the stress you put on yourself when you blame life and others. And then, having gained strength, you can move on.
Develop the skill of self-support
Learn to respect yourself for the smallest successes and achievements. Set achievable goals for yourself and, by accomplishing them, respect yourself for it. Every time you achieve something, support yourself, tell yourself that you are clever and you will always succeed. So you form a strong foundation for the role of a successful woman, and the role of a victim of circumstances will no longer have a place in your life.
Take failure as a sign
Learn to see your failures as signs of destiny. It tells you what to change in yourself. Develop your intuition, because it is always on your side. Changing your attitude to negative events that will be in life anyway, you will be able to perceive them as a necessary experience, and not as an excuse to dive into the role of the victim of external forces.
Learn to defend your interests
Playing the role of a victim of circumstances, you actually forget who you really are. When you complain that you are not considered, you are actually saying that you have no interests of your own. You are not a silent slave. Remember that you have your own life and your interests that you need to be able to defend. So you get another opportunity to stop being a ship without a rudder and sail in the ocean of life. Take control in their hands.
Look who you live with now
If you feel like a victim in a relationship, remember that relationships are the work of two people. Talk to your man frankly. Tell him what's happening to you. Of course, easier to build anger in yourself and then complain to her friends, but you purpose not achieve. If you do not find understanding in your man, then this is not the man you need.
Talk to him honestly, calmly, without shouting and wringing his hands
And if you see that the benefits of such communication and conversation zero, then make a decision. You are responsible for your life and its well-being, not someone else.
Do something for yourself
If you are used to being a victim, you will initially find it difficult to perceive yourself as a self-sufficient person. But nevertheless, do something for yourself every day, and let it be a concern for your beauty or a new hobby. You will form a new model of attitude towards yourself. In it, you will be self-sufficient without depending on any circumstances.
Watch your speech
If you suddenly want someone again to complain about life, stop yourself. Catch yourself on how you speak. And even better, if you talk to other people to tell something funny from his life. About the rest, just don't tell! So you will learn a new communicate verbally, unusual for you style without complaining and resentment. This will help you think of yourself as someone who can handle difficult circumstances.
Go in for sports
Start with the simplest-self-defense training. In the gym, you will learn to take a hit, not whine and run from the coach. In addition, you will see that you can stand up for yourself. You will learn to be stronger and realize that you are capable of a lot.
Alas, there is no cure that will cure you of your role as a victim of circumstances in one day. But working on this problem gradually, you can finally change your life, and it will be full of very different, joyful experiences.