Continued from part 1: https://zen.yandex.ru/media/id/5d66b592a06eaf00add0867a/computer-addiction-part-1-5d95d31e04af1f00aff94268
Computer addiction, like any other addiction, begins when a person feels that the world is hostile to them. Children have not yet formed mature, adult protective mechanisms, and the best thing is to work alone, primitive and effective - avoidance. In this case, avoiding where everything is clear, pleasant, predictable, where you can experience bright, positive emotions - on the computer. Why can a child run away to another reality? First of all, it is an unsatisfactory relationship with others. For a child under 12 years of age, the most important is the relationship with the parents. For a teenager (13-16 years old), relationships with peers are important.
What factors can predispose to addiction:
- Conflicts with parents, rejection of the child, neglect. The child receives little attention and may feel insignificant, unnecessary, abandoned and helpless. Computer games help to get those emotions that he received less in the family, as well as to feel strong, important, impersonating himself with the character of the game. Or, he can look for recognition in social networks. Having received a confession, a feeling of recognition and importance, it is difficult for a child to give up this feeling.
- Close to this lies the problem of constant conflicts between parents. The child is in constant stress, feels depressed, guilt is expressed, the house is not perceived as a safe place. Some children run away from home in these conflicts, but many run away to the computer.
- Problems at school. Conflicts can be with classmates as well as teachers. Teenagers experience this very hard because for their peers - it's their whole lives. It doesn't matter if his classmates ignore him or make fun of him, it's equally painful for him. And the child hides in the computer to get what he lacks. He represents himself with the character in the role of which he is.
How to prevent computer addiction?
- More time to spend with the child, to instill in him a taste for communication, general activities, entertainment, which have nothing to do with the computer. A good choice would be to create a culture of sport and creativity in the family.
- It is not too early to let a child have a computer, to teach him to have fun in other ways, without the intervention of computer technology, i.e. not to form a computer culture in the family. It is better to acquaint a child with the computer from the age of 5 to 6, and then later, the better.
- Agree with the child on a clear regulation of work at the computer. The main thing is to be consistent and not to increase or decrease the agreed time.
- Parents can't proceed from the principle that a child should not be allowed to do so. If the father himself loves the game and plays them for a long time, no prohibitions will not help - the child will also play a lot. The child never hears the words - he sees the actions. If the parents are passionate, creative people - the child has a better chance to become the same.
- To share work and entertainment. Parents can sit at the computer more if they work, the child should understand this very well.
- Do not interfere with communication with friends. Let him have more hobbies outside the home.
- To instill a taste for developing, logical games, you can play together. But the child should not have a connection that communication with you is possible only through the game!
- Do not be in a rush to buy him a personal computer.
What to do if the dependence has already formed?
- First of all, it is necessary to recognize that the problem exists, and it is necessary to fight it. And not only the child, but the whole family. It is necessary to prepare for a long, difficult and patient work.
- You need to be prepared for the fact that you will most likely have to change your behavior towards your child. Do not read the child's morals, humiliate him, cause guilt. You will not achieve anything in this way, especially if the computer is within reach. Understand what may attract him/her, except for the computer, and try to pay more attention to the child. But you need to distinguish attention from control and pressure - this will only make the situation worse.
- Without the help of a psychotherapist, it is very difficult, almost impossible. It is he who can see the situation from the outside, identify the problem that led to addiction, and work for this reason. Make sure that your child agrees to visit a psychotherapist.
- Show a sincere interest in the child, be interested in what he likes. Let it be even a computer game. The child will begin to understand - parents are interested in what he is fond of, so it is interesting.
Do not throw away the computer. From this, you will only become the worst enemies. Look for it - joint visits, work in nature, stadium, fishing. Do not be intrusive and categorical, proceed from the wishes of the child, and prepare for the fact that quickly achieve success is very difficult.