As a galloping therapist, I am very sensitive to movements and physical conditions, and I am very concerned about the emotions and emotions behind the movements.
Just like just standing on this stage, I noticed that the muscles have become a bit stiff. The body tells me by this signal that it is in a very high-intensity, restrained state. There is no good or bad state of the body, it helps me to enhance my sense of self-control so that I can continue to share with you.
The body is the container of the soul, and each soul is eager to express its truest look through the body. This can help us to use these “visible” and “touchable” resources to learn more about ourselves and to heal ourselves.
There was a time when the family changed, and I fell into depression for a while. Every day I wandered like a lost soul, stooping, hunched, lifeless, and wandering with gaze.
My family always said, "How do you have a chestnut back every day, it’s too ugly", "If you go out so good, there is no temperament, no one likes you." They use this language every day to tell me that this state is wrong and not good. In addition to the life of the ear, when they would not know what they would shoot my back from behind, the purpose is to hope that I can stand upright.
Although it was for good intentions, this rude and direct way not only made me angry but also made me horrible. Because we can't see the back, for us, behind is the weakest space for protection. Therefore, in addition to the lowness of the day, I have increased the fear of the hands that I do not know when I will reach out. This fear of "infringement" makes my body shrink more and more.
Shrinking and expanding is the way we express comfort from birth: a baby who can't talk, when it feels refreshed, the expression and body will stretch more, and when it feels uncomfortable (cold, fear), the body always shrinks. stand up. If we continue to shrink, it means that in that environment, people or things around us are uncomfortable, and even these people and things outside the world cannot be trusted.
Perhaps, you can try this posture, shrink into a group, sinking posture, feel your body and emotional changes: it seems that all emotions are accumulated back to the shoulder to the middle of the body, there is no suitable channel Let the emotions flow out (this is why people with multiple depressions and moderate depression are associated with obvious physical symptoms: uncomfortable chest and uncomfortable heart).
If at this time, someone said to me, "Why are you depressed?", "The world is very beautiful", "The world is full of love and warmth", my reaction will be "I know", "But these love and warmth." What does it have to do with me?"
Just like I want to eat apples, you give me a pear. The demand and the things given are not matched. Just like my hunchback and constantly correcting my family, I couldn't stand upright at the time. All I wanted was their understanding.
Until I came into contact with my dancing therapist: In the hot summer of 2013, I was crying into a dog every day during the five-day dance therapy workshop. It was also during that time that I really felt the tiredness of the body. It was a kind of tiredness from a very distant past, like feeling a lot of things carried in the body. At that time, I was a very easy guilty person. I always felt that many times I was not good enough, so a lot of bad things happened.
Five days of galloping treatment made me realize that I actually suffered so much. When I interact with others, I always feel that I am not good enough, and I carry too many things to swim in this world. These things also make my body sink. At the same time, I can't appreciate my own value, I am afraid to present myself for others to see, and my body wants to help me hide myself.
Why can't I open my body? Why are you shrinking? Or the terminal that feels emotional, no one can really accept himself. Once the terminal of the emotions is opened, people will say "What are you depressed", "You really have nothing to look for", and then face a lot of criticism and criticism.
The body just heard the inner true voice, the fear and uneasiness, formed a contraction and sinking body shape to protect itself: that is just to be treated like this, although it is painful, but it seems to be safe. Like me in a depressed state, when I sit down, it is like sitting on a chair, it seems that there is no central point of energy, and energy is leaking out (in the dance treatment, we call it "death power"), it seems the same as a beach of mud.