1. "It’s just a lot of people around me, it’s all for me."
"I can be high, but it can't be said how long it can be high."
For many introverts, just the people around are a kind of "social cost." "Do you think you don't have to talk? No, I feel tired when I see so many people."
At noon on weekdays, I can find a corner and sneak a meal, so that they can sigh: really clean.
It's not that you don't like colleagues, you just need to go back and forth through "a person to stay".
When psychologist Carl Jung talks about people's "introverted" and "extroverted" topics, the difference in personality is ultimately the difference in mental energy: introverts are charged by being alone, and extroverts are charged by social. Different charging methods are divided into introverts and extroverts.
Then, how does the "expenditure" of the introverts in society arise?
First of all, compared with extroverts, introverts are often not good at small talk and are not very good at chilling, and even hate the chattering way of chatting. They even believe that the superficial form of conversation that chills hinders real communication between anyone. ( Laurie Helgoe, 2013)
Second, introverts who are easily “expended” often need to integrate themselves into social situations in their work and life, and adapt themselves to the various stimuli of social activities. Loud noises, lights, music, different faces, eating, drinking, and all sorts of smells – all of which can overload the introverted brain.
Third, introverts are more likely to be disrupted in a social environment than extroverts, and are more likely to be distracted—
In a psychological experiment, the researcher asked a group of introverts and a group of extroverts to complete four cognitive tests (short-term memory, long-term memory, reading comprehension, observation, and thinking) in background music with different levels of interference. test).
In the four tests, as the interference of background music continued to increase, the introvert's test scores were getting lower and lower, and the extrovert's test scores were getting higher and higher.
2. You don't have to be an extrovert, you may just need some social skills.
For some introverts, they need to be social skills first, but how to let themselves relax in social situations.
Social stress can make some introverts nervous, heartbeat, sweating or trembling.
1. You can try to say "I am nervous"
"Sorry, I am a little nervous now."
"Maybe you can't see it, but I am a bit nervous now."
On the one hand, the action of “speaking out” can relieve tension and anxiety. Even if you are nervous, now you don't have to hide your nervousness.
On the other hand, this is a way to release goodwill. Introverts often silence and avoid because they are nervous and don’t know what to say, but people who don’t understand can easily understand it as “high cold”, “face black” and “do not care for people”.
Expressing the "I am a little nervous" thing, the information actually expressed is:
"I am a little nervous now, but I think everyone is very friendly, so I am willing to say it."
Exposing a small weakness, expressing your trust in the person and the group in front of you, and actively releasing goodwill, will make it easier to get a kind feedback.
2. Relax with your body to promote psychological relaxation
Our body and mind can interact with each other. When your body adopts a very relaxed posture, the relaxation of the body will lead to psychological relaxation - for example, sitting cross-legged for a while at the workstation.
This "spreading" posture will give a person confidence for a short time. Studies have shown that in front of those who make us nervous and power bigger than us, we can easily and unconsciously adopt a more contraction, more restrained, "footprint" smaller posture. And in those who are less influential to us, our sitting posture will be more casual and more relaxed.
Therefore, being able to take a casual, more relaxed posture is a kind of self-confidence.
3. Find someone who can "save you" out
For most introverts, one-on-one communication is no problem, and it is okay to communicate with your acquaintances.
So when you have to enter a social environment, try to pull an acquaintance together or find a savvy acquaintance on the spot. If you don't have it, then dig it on the spot, if there is an introvert like you, create an acquaintance for yourself.
4. Deliberately choose your comfortable social environment
Introverts don't like the over-the-top environment, socializing in relatively quiet, low-volume environments, such as small discussion groups, bookstores, libraries, small meals (no more than 4 people).
It can effectively reduce excessive external interference and create a good atmosphere of deep communication, which is also beneficial for introverts to exert their own depth of thinking.
5. If the "speaking" thing is very troublesome for you, you can try the text.
Sensitive, self-reflecting, and able to receive more information... Introverts with these characteristics tend to have higher output quality than extroverts.
Since speaking in front of people makes you bother, you may want to try typing and email communication methods. After all, in this era, more and more communication is being carried out online. No one knows whether a colleague/friend/blogger opposite the computer/mobile is an introvert or an extrovert. This is not important.
Finally, we want to say that in this world, everyone must have their own strengths and weaknesses, and don't care too much.
You just need to remember that you are you, you don't have to pretend to be anything you are not good at.