The era in which we live is undergoing earth-shaking changes, material life is becoming more and more abundant, but people's hearts are becoming more and more barren. Perhaps there is no uniform value in today's society. People can worship money and follow the tradition. It can be both open and conservative. We seem to be extremely free and at the same time extremely emptiness and fear. We are destined to be more confused and emptiness than the predecessors, and more difficult to hide under a character and shell.
The more modern society has no unified value to stipulate our life path, the more we need to rely on our own deep understanding of ourselves, we can confirm ourselves and walk out of our own life path.
Although existentialism claims that people are “thrown into the world”, if we think carefully, we will understand that people themselves are not being ruthlessly thrown into the world. If they are successful, they will grow up under the care of their parents. of. If parents give good interaction, they can give children a solid dependence, and children will gradually explore themselves in this stable relationship and eventually become "self."
The child knows that his first teacher is actually a parent, not himself. No one is not looking at themselves through the eyes of their parents. The object relationship psychologist Winnicott said that “babies never exist alone”, and the autopsy founder Kohut also said that “children need The brilliance of the mother's eyes."
Psychology believes that people's perception of their own experience is rooted in the experience of others, especially the responses of early adopters.
If the caregiver is sensitive to the baby, such as when the baby feels uncomfortable, the mother can quickly respond to the child's feelings, such as the mother will go to see if the child is hungry, or because of urine, Or because the child feels that the temperature is a little low, the mother can give appropriate response in time, such as taking the bottle over, or helping the child to change a dry diaper. When the mother adjusted this way, the child returned to a state of comfort and pleasure.
This kind of interaction is constantly happening in everyday life, and the baby feels safe and has a sense of control.
If you encounter an insensitive parent and let the child be in an uncomfortable state, we will find that the child's performance is often a slight unpleasant feeling at the beginning, gradually escalating to anger and crying, and finally gradually depressed and depressed, if so The situation is so much in the life of the baby that the baby gradually falls into a state of loss of control, extreme insecurity and depression.
In fact, a child will go through a very long process from birth to growth. Unlike other animals, humans and their parents live together for a very long time. It is because the child needs long-term parental care to complete self-independence. Not only physically, but also psychologically, the child eventually develops into an independent and healthy individual that needs to be acquired in good interaction with his parents.
Parents need to give their children the training of their age at different stages of their development, and this process is difficult for both children and parents. Every child has his or her own personality traits. The time and process of maturity are also different. Parents are also parents. In addition to raising children, parents have to experience many twists and turns in life. Children and parents love each other and adapt to each other. The way to get along.
It is regrettable that modern society is putting more and more pressure on parents, and it is increasingly difficult for parents to have a lot of time to interact with their children. Even if they can take time to interact with their children, they often have anxiety and The quality of stress and interaction can be imagined.
Many of the visitors who are invaluable to my contact, these visitors often come to the consultation because of the lack of inner feelings but do not know where this feeling of deprivation originates.
Some will think that they are not strong enough, and some will feel that they are caused by their inferiority.
If you understand it in-depth, you will find that under the sense of worthlessness, it is a deep desire for parents. They are eager to have a parent who loves themselves, understands themselves, has time to accompany themselves, or has strength and can give encouragement and support to themselves.