I wrote this article with a wish to all of you — do not feel sorry for your unhappy, complaining friends, relatives, acquaintances. They'll be fine! But you may not have children, health will deteriorate, luck and joy of life will go away, mutual understanding will disappear in the family, fatigue, and depression will become constant.
Your help and sympathy may be too much for you. Stop contact, withdraw from communication, if only someone in your presence begins to complain about his unhappy life. Believe me, this man is fine. But what will happen to you after a session of sympathy - it is still unknown?
All of us in life meet people who complain. Health, weather, husband, wife, parents, government. They talk about their misfortunes, problems, and diseases. Their circumstances are sympathetic. We are people, helping others is inherent in us. Sometimes the demonstration of unhappiness becomes a way of earning, this is what professional beggars do. Victims are a special class of professional sufferers. Do not pity those who are always complaining
Once in the subway, I saw a girl sobbing bitterly. People stopped near it, took part, questioned, sympathized, gave money. Then I saw her at another subway station, then a third.
I marveled at the ingenuity of the professional victim. That only she not comes up with, to "breed" surrounding on emotions, on money. In fact, just to take someone else's power, using the cordiality, sympathy of people.
And the victim's problems are often real, not fictional. But different people in situations of illness and misfortune behave differently, but professional victims complain. They complain about their insurmountable problems, stress, unfulfilled dreams, illness, difficulties in relationships, at work, with money, and so on.
Nice thing to complain! Maybe it'll get easier, and some decision there!
Our close friends, our poor unrealized mothers, mothers-in-law, husbands, sisters, and brothers. All as one — native, beloved people. Well, how not to help, how not to sympathize, the soul is not a stone.
I will share with you a life story, one of many.
A woman came to me for a consultation, let's call her Katya. She complained of constant stress, poor sleep, cycle disorders, endometriosis, PCOS, anovulation, and infertility.
Everything in her life somehow did not add up — health problems, money. And the second child did not work with her husband. Where to go from problems, she did not know.
We started therapy, and a lot of things were resolved pretty quickly. The sleep got better, the cycle became better. Katya got a good job, stress in life has become much less.
I would like to note that my consultations are aimed, among other things, at personal development. A person must learn to understand himself, to understand, to draw conclusions, to tell himself the truth about what his actions, habits, worldview are the cause of diseases and problems.
Internal research is very important. As a result of therapy, a person learns to solve his own problems, to take responsibility.
Katya, fortunately, was a sincere and interested person. It was very important for her to actually solve her problems, and not just to get temporary relief. And during one of our sessions, a very interesting detail came to light. She remembered that when she could not get pregnant for the first time, she suffered very much and worried.
Katya regularly met with her friends, shared her sorrows and sorrows with them. Hours of sitting someone at a party. If there was a holiday and people were having fun, Katya's face always remained pained. Everyone sympathized with her, worried about her, helped her in any way they could.
This went on for several years, suffering and experiences sharpened her soul and heart like poisonous acid, and she shared them with loved ones. Over time, she became pregnant and gave birth to a beautiful daughter. From now on, attention!
Each of her friends and Katya told about five women close to her, either got sick or divorced her husband. All five "out of the blue" have no children, no family, no health. Didn't work.
When she told me about these "random" circumstances in the lives of their friends, I realized that seen it, they ceased to communicate with her. Her friends lost their children, husbands, health. They certainly did not understand what the reason was Kate, but to continue to communicate do not want.
Katya was worried that she had no friends now, everyone had abandoned her. As same it now one? Now she needs a second child. So what to do? Where to get five more close friends?
It was interesting to listen to such insights. Importantly, the most Katya was surprisingly this be given. Suddenly and frightening it was understood, what price she became pregnant and has given birth to its daughter.
Of course, you say, but how to prove such things? Maybe she made it up.
I will answer you — in the inner world there is no need for proof. If a person knows something about himself, if he is illuminated by a clear understanding of his actions, thoughts, feelings, he does not need any evidence.
Of course, she had a question — and now how to fix it? Yes, it is possible to correct, if not completely, then at least partially. How to do this, we discussed with her in consultation.
The first thing to do is to stop suffering. To stop receiving some subtle, even sexual, satisfaction from the very process of suffering. Katya admitted that this is what is happening in her life. She suffers from feeling, with pleasure, with full dedication, flirting, not knowing how to stop, more and more entering into the role.
Next, you need to stop complaining, cling to people, playing on their sympathy,
generosity, desire to help. Especially to save his loved ones — husband, daughter, friends, parents. They are the first to fall "under fire" professional victims, the first to risk their health and their lives
I write this note with a wish to all of you — do not feel sorry for your unhappy, complaining friends, relatives, acquaintances. They'll be fine!
But you may not have children, health will deteriorate, luck and joy of life will go away, mutual understanding will disappear in the family, fatigue, and depression will become constant. Your help and sympathy may be too much for you.
Stop contact, withdraw from communication, if only someone in your presence begins to complain about his unhappy life. Believe me, this man is fine. But what will happen to you after a session of sympathy - it is still unknown?