We all want to be loved, happy and know that we deserve all the best. And for this are prepared go on all, even on renunciation of the most themselves. Since childhood, we believe that love must be earned, and to earn, then we must give up what we want. And this stupid idea we carry into adulthood, mistakenly thinking that others will give us happiness. And only over time do we realize how expensive it cost us to try to be good... I dreamed of being liked by everyone, I lived in order to earn the approval and love of others.
Now I don't want it anymore.
First of all, I want to like myself, to live in peace and harmony with my deepest values. Yes, it is inconvenient for others — but it is a reasonable price for the right to be yourself. Once I wanted to be thanked. I did everything for everyone, I was ashamed to say no or take money for it. How is it possible?
Now I clearly follow my feelings and respect my own boundaries. Yes, maybe it's selfish, but I'd rather go for a planned manicure than do something for someone that he can do himself, just doesn't want to raise his butt. There are exceptions. But they are also conscious. If I do something for someone, it's not out of fear, it's out of love. It's my choice.
I thought that it is shameful to live better than others and if you live a little easier — then definitely your heavy cross and direct responsibility to make others happy. Give all the money to the one who is harder. Give away the clothes I still need. To give the thing that I like. Not to ask for anything, to Refuse what is offered to me. In my then wishlist probably 70 percent were about "world peace". Why so? Subconsciously, I waited for compensation from others, the world, God...
I'm so good, I don't ask for anything for myself. So I have to give more than others because I deserve it...
Now I have the audacity to stop being ashamed of my desires. I voice to myself and others my true needs. If I'm given anything I don't feel obligated. I accept. With sincere gratitude. I was tired of pretending, first of all to myself, that everything material was alien to me.
That's not so. I very much want to live beautifully, comfortably, to surround myself with fine valuable things and not to think that it is better to take today to dinner those products at a discount.
I'm tired of building a gorgeous facade and spend a lot of effort to maintain it. Some people think my life is perfect — it's not. I'm a living person, I have feelings, I hurt a lot, I suffer, cry and do not sleep at night Once I was justified for all that I have in life, I said that I was just lucky.
Now it is not. Now I know for sure that this is the result of my conscious choice. And only I one know, how much effort had to attach the, and external and those more domestic, to this obtain that kind. I no longer allow myself or anyone else to devalue my results. This is my life and I like it just the way it is. Once I wanted all save, " catch up with and do happy."
Now I understand that change is an uncomfortable and quite painful process and everyone decides for himself whether he is ready for it or not. And no one is obliged to change just to make it more comfortable for me, so that I was not ashamed of their happiness and well-being. If their choice is to continue to be miserable, I accept it. But I choose something else for myself. I used to be patient.
Be patient a little longer-force yourself, do as you like. Because everyone is doing it, what are you, some kind of special? Now I can say: you can't do this! In the first place myself.
Once I did not give myself the right to make a mistake, to find myself in a stupid, uncomfortable situation, to say something wrong, to express my thoughts at random was scary for me. Now I'm learning to give myself the right to live that experience. Only he who sleeps is not mistaken.
I used to be afraid of breaking up relationships and preferred to keep in touch wherever possible. It was exhausting, time-consuming and mentally demanding.
Now I know that's not true. Now I understand that the key to a happy relationship is respect for each other and for the inner freedom of the partner. It's hard and scary at first, but it's more beautiful once you let go of your iron grip. And with surprise, you see in the partner not just the supernumerary for the scenario, but the separate beautiful Personality which develops every day, blossoms and before your eyes become more and more beautiful and deeper.
I wanted to be right once. I believed that the implementation of a certain set of rules-this is what will serve as my insurance against all the ills and injustices of the world, that nothing bad will happen to me then. Now I realize that's not true. There are always lessons and trials in life. And, if correctly they undergo, they turn in my resource.
Once I wanted to be well evaluated, constantly given positive feedback, praised, put the five. Now I am learning to feel and realize my inner value
- regardless of external circumstances...
Once I thought that to be successful, I always have to achieve something. Now I prefer to be happy, maintaining a certain state.
I used to care a lot about how I looked in other people's eyes. Now I focus on how much I accept and love myself. I wanted to be good once...
Now I want to be alive, a little hysterical, a little "with cockroaches", sometimes too active, and sometimes-lazy, rude and a little harsh and sharp, sometimes-brilliant and admiring myself, sometimes dull and confused...
I don't want to seem, I want to BE. Every day to be alive, happy and real...