Is it worth saying nasty things in return?
Definitely not worth it. Be wise. Sometimes you can just feel sorry for a person. After all if in you throw the intellectual poop – understand, at first these "poop" the person holds in itself, and they in it stink, poison all its existence. He himself suffers from them, and most likely suffers much more than you!
As something would stand I in no clothing left. I'm wearing a gorgeous fur coat, stiletto boots, makeup. I'm cute talking to the saleswoman about what dress I should buy – the blue, in which I look amazing, or it's elegant-black, in which I'm well, just a miracle how good :). And here comes a woman older than me by about ten years. You know these ladies, they always have a correct and severe expression. This one, for example, was like my tyrannical English teacher, whom I had been terrified of all my childhood.
So here is, suited this tyrant me, and says something like: "and nothing to acquire so showing off!»
That's right, why am I showing off in my beautiful mink coat?
I make an exceptionally stupid expression on my face, and calmly agree with her: "my God, what a visionary you are, and I did not know that I was showing off! Thank you, you opened my eyes!»
All, the conflict is settled. The tyrant is depressed, and the saleswoman giggles with pleasure.
But think, why did she come at all? Because she was bad or even ugly, and she was looking for a victim. And here I stand, in a beautiful fur coat, calmly telling myself compliments, and in General, I even dresses go ... So she decided to bite me. For me to bite her back. And then she started to growl at me, and has openly rant and rave! Because you can't go shopping in full dress. Because you need less to show off, to be angry and unhappy as she is... And if you not such a – wait for punishment!
If I went to the conflict - that would give this aunt a lot of pleasure. And would leave the store upset, with bleeding emotions and torn feelings. And I fucking agreed with her, muffling the conflict at the root... And this will be worse only to her. It's her choice...
Or another situation. I meet a former classmate, and she says: "You became a blonde! Ugh ... it doesn't suit you!»
What could she say? "Look at you!»
But why? To get a tub of slop in return?
It is much better to say: "Yes, Yes, I will definitely think about it. In General, it is so nice when others notice my changes! You are so cute!»
Once the brilliant Faina Ranevskaya said:
"If you have done something nasty-give this person candy. You disgust-and you candy! And give candy as long as this bastard does not happen diabetes!»
So do not spare the candy! Hand them out generously
Well, if you want to always competently move away from conflicts, while not suffering from low self-esteem-learn my culture neo-early in this case, I would even call it "culture nekusaniya"
Or take our training "how to raise a woman's self-esteem" and then you will learn never to suffer if someone throws their "intellectual poop" at you. After all, when a woman has high self-esteem-she does not need to "throw poop" in response. Why?
Yes because she has their simply there is no in it all perfectly – and face, and soul, and thought...
When someone tries to hurt you...
Once my former boss boasted to one of his friends that I can not hurt anything. I'm impenetrable! That's why I'm so good at fulfilling orders of even the most harmful customers, and everyone loves to work with me.
And he decided to check it out. Went to our store, and let me cling: "Oksana, I decided to marry you. Only the wedding night will arrange before the wedding!»
I make a totally stupid face, and I say, " that's great! Wow! I love it!»
This did not stop him, and he tried to pick me up a few more times: "Let's have a wedding night tonight, and marry you or not – I'll decide tomorrow!»
But my expression became even sillier, and my answers even more enthusiastic: "Great, I've always dreamed about it!»
Look, my boss is very unhappy with what is happening, and can not do anything. Her acquaintance looks like a fool-a fool, and I calmly walk away from his bites...
He still tried my offense, and understood, that me absolutely impossible to withdraw from themselves. So upset, pretended to have lost all interest in my person, immersed in his phone.
I went on with my work, unperturbed. Me this situation was neither heat nor cold.
But just imagine if I answered him resentfully: "Yes, you, my dear, ham!"An acquaintance of my boss was quite a successful lawyer, and it was easy for him to bring a person out of himself. Only one problem: he did not meet people who are fond of Taoist practices. I method of "Dupes" have mastered a long time ago.
Why make friends with the poor and miserable?
Consulting women, I collect my statistics. Do you know what the saddest thing, for example, in the statistics of male infidelity? That most husbands cheat on their wives with their best friends. It is those who are poor and miserable. Who did you give your dress to, and in difficult times invited to live with you...
Yes, these the most poor little girlfriends so can wallow in his envy to you: a rich, smart, Yes still and married! To take your husband away. And then you find out that they all said nasty things about you behind your back, or even outright lied...
Yes, if girlfriend poorer, thicker, stupider you – with it is identically friends with one another. Next to her, you can feel like a Goddess of beauty and perfection! Only consider one detail, if she envies you white envy-it will soon be as successful as you are. Ah and if black (and you years for its expense raising its self – esteem) - once she necessarily "stick a knife meanness" ins back.
A man can't help but be jealous. Envy is perfectly normal. It is a question of education, our desires, and needs.
But if the person is bright, and knows how to be jealous, wishing you and myself good – he quickly develops. If same man dark, and his envy black, and wants him you only of evil – he necessarily will find, as you annoy. This is the harsh reality of life.
Why be friends with poor and unhappy friends?
Typically, this is done by those who have low self-esteem. Who underestimates himself, dislikes, does not know how to praise himself.
Such women need a friend who will be worse than them in many respects. Comparing yourself with her take a lot of pleasure: "She's fatter than me, what happiness! I earn more than her-just delight! I'm better, smarter, prettier!"Yes on such a friend can get hooked, as on batches of drugs!
However, it is important to consider the side effects of such a drug. If she near with you, to learn to and adopt your experience – very soon she will become and richer, and more beautiful. And he won't give you any more pleasure. If she is around you that's not why – then mind you, she's suffering! She is saddened and depressed by your success. And her inner negative will splash out in different nasty things that she will do to you. If not today, then tomorrow...
Girls, my dear! If you like to be friends with those who are much worse and unhappier than you-think maybe not all right with your self-esteem? Maybe you do not like yourself, you do not have enough joy and satisfaction within yourself? Therefore, you have a need to be friends with those who are worse than you. To receive joy and pleasure thus here is a harmful and surrogate way.
Who is affected by their environment?
Sometimes women complain to me about their surroundings:
"My friends (colleagues, relatives) are constantly whining, scolding men, bosses, government, etc. After communicating with them, I feel sick and do not want to live. As they already strapon!»
And I always have a question: "why do you have such friends? What is your need for them?»
And another question: "why do you suffer? What's so catchy about what they say?»
You know what it is. When a person has adequate and stable self-esteem-he has a number of useful habits. No matter how bad he is at the moment – he can sit down and read a clever inspirational book. Go for a run or go to the pool. Make a dress, learn another language. Do some other useful activity for yourself...
And then to stand in front of a mirror, look at yourself, and exclaim "Life is good! I'm beautiful! And everything is great!"Such a person does not happen for a long time bad!
Bad, oppressive and irritable is only the one who has a longing in his heart. Who does not know how to consciously make his life interesting and fun. Who does not know how to constructively raise their own self-esteem under any circumstances.
This world is what it is. There live different people, and there are a lot of longing, sadness and those who are ready to bite you. It's okay!
But it is important to understand:
An adult who is accustomed to taking responsibility for his life on himself – knows how not to suffer! Him to live cool and fun!
Only the victims of circumstances suffer.