What could be more beautiful, more exciting, more intimate than a sincere declaration of love? Do you remember this magical trembling of butterflies in your stomach, contemplation of the mole on the loved one's share our deep gratitude for the support at a difficult moment for you?
And you probably remember that when you say the three words you cherish, you also recognize that you are now vulnerable to this person. From now on, your heart is open to happiness and pain that you may experience. But over the years, the magic of the miraculous "I love you" confession loses its power, hiding behind a series of daily events. We throw such a frank, gentle, mysterious phrase, "I love you," and without, as something understandable, ordinary, and no longer feel the excitement that has been put into these words before. Sometimes we feel nothing by confessing our love automatically, without even noticing it.
One day I decided to do a special experiment and of course, I chose a relationship with my husband. We agreed to confess to each other for a month when we really felt the desire and expressed it with any words, but not "I love you". We also agreed that if one of us didn't want to respond with tenderness at the moment, we decided to say, "I'm very happy to hear it.
A month later, we had a real renaissance in our relationship, and this is how it happened: Every time I felt safe, cozy and warm with my husband, and I already took advantage of the familiar and understandable "I love you," I said: "I am so comfortable and quiet with you now. When I was happy with the nice gifts and surprises, I would say: "I feel so good! I feel very beautiful and welcome when I receive gifts from you.
Every time I wanted to say, "I love you," I stopped and looked at my condition and asked myself: "What exactly do I feel now?" and often came up with the answer: "Tenderness, gratitude, calmness, strength. And all this I honestly said: "I am grateful to you. I feel so good in your arms. I feel stronger because you support me.
How many beautiful, amazing and extremely important feelings we hide behind one phrase: "I love you". How many shades of love we lose, how many contacts we lose with ourselves and how we feel. How many important words we forget to say to each other, and then we can't understand what we think about our partner and how much he really gives us.
Replacing the huge range of diverse, truly rich feelings with one phrase, we make ourselves and our relationship ordinary, gray and invisible. And my husband after this experiment began to advise all his friends to go through it and confessed that he never felt so important, necessary, grateful, courageous and rich from within.
By removing the generalizing "I love you" from my life for a while, it turned out that it was not immediately clear what we felt and what words we wanted to express it with. But most importantly, this experiment has shown how much the loved one can give and how much we do not notice. To treat confessions with due respect and trembling. And you will see how many important, vivid feelings you experience, learn to notice and understand why you are with this person, and how important it is to hear what makes you happy in this relationship.