The psychologist's article about the most important feeling is reciprocity:
I once read that love arises between a man and a woman at once and at the same time. And I agree with that. Everything that happens not synchronously is different, but it is unlikely that love will grow out of it.
You can argue that you know a lot of couples, where at first she loved and married herself strongly, and then the man, after years, somehow got over it and started to love his wife. Or a man loved a woman for years without a reply, then at some point, she suddenly got her sight and fell in love with a man. Let me not believe it. Rather, I tend to think that the second half of this situation has some secondary, perhaps unconscious, benefits such as convenience, comfort, confidence in the future, getting rid of fear of loneliness, and so on.
Chemistry, fluids, love - they occur immediately when there are two people who can make a couple. It is not a fact that they have the patience, endurance, and acceptance to develop relationships to love, but the Lord has given them the chance to do so. There is a sudden, instant connection. Both fees both understand both are interested.
If you have some nonsense after your first dates like "promised not to call," "said not to come," "received a message, didn't answer," "thought about the relationship for a month," maybe "worked hard, not before my personal life," "went to volleyball with friends, let's reschedule the meeting," and so on, don't make any illusions. It's really nothing. (Well, just know that I have a less decent "x" synonym in my head.
"That's not what happened between you two. From now on, you will begin to build a difficult and tense relationship, and with someone who does not need you most.
When people feel this chemistry, they both try to protect each other's feelings. The other one won't disappear suddenly because it feels like it's going to hurt you. The other one will not leave you unanswered, because it protects your attitude and your mood. The other one will not insist on a free relationship (read - free sex) simply because he can't think about anyone else but you. The other one will be thinking all the time with you, and you will feel it. You won't worry about whether there is a connection between you, because you will constantly get confirmation of the feelings and emotions associated with you. The other will be sincere and frank with you, and you will want to be the same.
You know, it seems to me that we get into all sorts of nonsense for one reason only: we do not have the patience to wait for the same person. If in our youth we don't understand ourselves and don't understand who we need, that's why we get experience instead of happiness, then everything is much better in our mature age with patience, freedom, and happiness inside.
You may ask what to do with those who did not wait, who are both at forty and fifty, and at sixty years of age remained alone? I will answer: there can be different cases here. Someone is not paired with the right person and has closed other options for himself. Someone decided that he was done, and perfectly arranged his life alone. Someone believes that "all men (women)..." and stopped seeing people as they are. Thus, these people put on their own "crown of celibacy".
But there are other people who enjoy life at any age, appreciate every moment and every feeling, love the world and people, love themselves and believe that out of seven billion people on earth somewhere lives the one whose image coincides with the imprint in his own head. Someone can hear himself, learn a foreign language on an unknown impulse, and then find happiness in another country.
Someone writes articles that spread the virus over the Internet, and thus he is found by his man. Someone is engaged in scientific activity and one day at a conference meets his destiny. Everyone has their own recipe.
The most important thing is to believe that the same person deserves to wait. No, not like that. He deserves to live and believe. No one needs someone who does not need himself. And he who accepts himself as he is, lives a tasty, full life, despite all the possible problems of life.
If you have the best sex after the scandal, it is not for long - soon there will be only scandals.
If you are uncomfortable with a man on the first, second, third date, do not appoint a fourth. In the first meetings, the man shows himself the best way, and if you are already unpleasant to be with him, nothing good will come out of these relationships.
People are not liked because they bend over. The paradox is that men love bitchy women.