When it comes to narcissism, the image that appears in the mind for the first time is the one who advertises himself everywhere, brags in the mouth, and feels that he should be the focus when he goes.
However, many times narcissism is also a secret act, even wearing a humble cloak - you think you are not narcissistic, but in fact, your words expose your inner narcissism, you think that what you think may not be what you think of.
We have summarized five common narcissists' common words to help you understand your inner narcissism, low-key narcissism, and humiliating narcissism.
1 "Sorry!"
The company's new media, the public number of articles read a new low, as the author of the intern Xiao Wang feels that he has to bear the main responsibility, so he madly apologize to colleagues.
Usually, Xiao Wang is also a good comrade who loves to apologize. If he speaks too loudly, he will apologize. If he is too vocal, he will apologize. When he meets someone else's arm, he will apologize...
Analysis:
An apology means that a person begins to reflect on his or her behavior, attributing bad results to himself, and deeply guilty. But guilt can also be a hidden weapon to satisfy a person's narcissism because it can bring a sense of control.
Sorry for a subtext: If I change my practice, it will seriously affect the outcome. Although the truth is often no matter what you do, the result is still the same. But a few apologies, full of guilt, will make us feel that the world is still under our control.
Sorry, you can put yourself in a "killer" position. The ability to hurt people is often possessed by talented and capable people.
If you are in a good tone and you are in place, you can show that "I actually know that this is not right." "I also feel that this is an immoral behavior in my heart." I quickly set a clear line between the wrong behavior and the noble sentiment. Ah, so you can love yourself more happily and confidently.
2 “How big is it, I am much worse”
It is a high-profile scene of narcissism. Whenever Girl A confides to Girl B about her bad experience, Girl B always uses her worse experience to appease A.
"I tell you, he is really a scum, you know how he said to me, he said that because I am ugly, he can't stand it."
"Oh, what a big thing, don't be so fragile. I told you that I was led by a leader today. I said that I don't understand communication at all, I know what I am talking about. Where am I? ......
Analysis:
Everyone has a small corner of narcissism in their hearts, hoping that they can always be at the center of the world. More extreme narcissists will appear to care only about their own sorrows and sorrows, gains and losses, and do not want to truly understand other people's feelings, but are even more reluctant to go to empathy. This is called "compassionate lack".
But aside from these extremes, many good-hearted ordinary people also have similar "narcissism moments" in their hearts. When people around you express pain and need comfort, through the words "How big is it, I am...", you can quickly transfer the topic to yourself, and once again become the focus of the topic.
It was originally that you comforted me, and suddenly it became me to comfort you?
3 "I have a friend"
Everyone is familiar with this. Who does not have a powerful friend?
Who does not have a friend with many powerful friends?
Analysis:
Don't believe it, many people have this kind of behavior by "showing friends" to "darkly poke and show off themselves."
"My friends are so powerful, I am similar to them." They may often express their envy of others, but in fact, they still have the idea of "I am as good as them, you have to envy me".
"The world is not fair to me, I should be treated better" is the firm belief of all narcissists. If I am so good but I have not obtained enough resources, it is definitely a problem in the world. Well, anyway, like this.
4 "You are so beautiful!"
As we all know, the most common kind of girls after meeting are not looking for words, that is, blowing rainbow farts.
"Hey, are you thin!"
"Aunt, you look good today!"
"Where is this nail, I have to go!"
Analysis:
"I am very beautiful / I am very special" is the image that narcissists need to maintain at any time. To achieve this goal, many people will expect to win the praise of the other party by first complimenting each other.
These statements are applicable to a wide range of women of all ages. And when the words are spoken, the other party will be happy and lose some reason. When you are secretly happy, you will naturally find a way to boast and achieve a win-win situation in which you guard against dignity. After all, people who can find themselves thin are angels.
Oh, yes, don't misunderstand. Today we don't mean that narcissism is bad. On the contrary, we want to name ourselves as "narcissism":
The narcissism we talk about here is not the same as the narcissistic personality disorder. It is a very normal and common thing in life. Fromm once suggested that everyone needs a moderate and healthy narcissism. Only when narcissism seriously hinders the individual's perception of reality, will a malignant form of narcissism (Malignant Narcissism) be formed.