The child goes to school and begins to understand his or her place in the world of social relations. The child begins to distinguish between "I as I see myself" and "I as others see me".
The inner life appears and the arbitrariness of behavior is formed. The child starts doing his or her homework because he or she "needs to", not because he or she "wants to".
Manifestations of the crisis:
- Loss of childlike spontaneity: Between desire and action, the experience of how important this action will be for the child himself is.
- Manners, capriciousness, the child does not walk the way he walked before. In the behavior there is something deliberate, ridiculous and artificial, some kind of fidgeting, clownery, clowning, the child is a jester.
- There is a meaningful orientation in their own experiences: the child begins to understand what it means "I am happy", "I am upset", "I am angry", "I am kind", "I am destructive".
- Experiences acquire meaning (the angry child understands that he is angry).
- For the first time, there is a generalization of experiences, logic of feelings. That is, if a situation has happened to him many times, he has a certain emotional attitude to this place, case or person.
- There is an important struggle of experiences. Experience is an internal attitude of a child as a person to this or that moment of reality. - There is self-esteem. The level of our requests to ourselves, to our success, to our position arises in connection with the crisis of seven years. The most important thing that children need from parents and other adults in this period - respect: the child claims to respect, to be treated as an adult, to be identified as an adult.
- The phenomenon of "bitter candy": the child achieves his or her goal, but does not enjoy it because he or she has achieved it in a socially disapproving way.
- Difficulties of childhood arise. The child begins to close down and becomes uncontrollable.
How to cope with the crisis of seven years? Tips for parents.
- First of all, you should always remember that crises are temporary phenomena, they pass away, they must be experienced.
- Be patient, respectful and attentive to the child, love him/her, but do not "tie" to yourself, let him/her have friends, his/her circle of communication. Be prepared to support the child, listen and encourage him/her. It is easier to cope with the problem when it has just appeared and has not yet led to negative consequences.
- The reason for the acute course of the crisis is the authoritarian nature and rigidity of the parents' attitude towards the child, so it is necessary to think about whether all the prohibitions are justified and whether it is impossible to give the child more freedom and independence.
- Try to change your attitude to the child: it is not a small one anymore, be attentive to its opinions and judgments, try to understand it. It is really important to listen to the child, not just pretend.
- Health education and orders do not work during this crisis, try not to force, but convince, reason and analyze with the child the possible consequences of his actions.
- If your relationship with your child has become a continuous scandal and resentment, you need to take a break from each other for a while: send your child to his relatives for a few days, and to his return make a firm decision not to shout and not to get mad at anything.
- The child must go to first grade prepared. Then adaptation to school will be easier and the crisis will not get worse. It is also about the level of general knowledge (of the world around him, seasons, geometric figures, his name, the city in which he lives, the development of memory, etc.) and about psychological readiness (tell us what he will have (with a positive color), what difficulties can be and how to cope with them, conduct a tour of the school).
- Encourage communication with friends of his age.
- Teach your child to manage his or her emotions (by the example of his or her behavior; there are special games and exercises).
- Keep an eye on his health (a sick, weakened child is less likely to perceive new information, does not come into contact with others).
- As much encouragement and humor as possible in communication with children, it always helps!