In life, emotions often easily overcome reason. Faced with the most embarrassing things in life, a cold but clear set of data may really make a big difference.
I have recently lost my energy and often feel that life is boring and happiness is hopeless. Even the usual translation of the website is particularly sensitive to the word "happiness."
I happened to see an article, wrote a pair of American couples to make a "life happiness index table", quantify the various events in life as "happiness index", and based on these indexes to improve the quality of life a little bit - - Sounds like a lifestyle full of science and engineering thinking, and even a bit abnormal?
But after reading it, I feel that this method seems to improve my life happiness more clearly and directionally. I still want to try it for myself. So we decided to sort out this article and share it with everyone. Maybe we can bring you some new ideas to improve the happiness index.
As an efficiency consultant who has worked in the Japanese automotive industry, my husband has been trying to teach me a set of "family happiness tips"
He wants to follow the management method of a car company's spreadsheet to build a “life happiness index table” for the family to manage our family life, and also said that this can bring a qualitative leap to life. I said: Yes, but not necessary. You still have to use it yourself. I didn't expect him to be serious, and I finally couldn't escape the "true incense law."
This index is a paradox. It is based on a concept called “sustainable improvement” that moves forward and achieves goals. Probably in a few steps:
1. Identify a goal you want to achieve
2. Find out the main components behind the goal
3. Collect data for these factors and use the data to find out what you can improve and get closer to the goal
The goal of the car company is to improve product quality and profit, and the goal of our family life is to enhance happiness.
At the beginning, we didn't know how the table should be listed. I don't know what factors in life can make a sense of well-being. Then simply collect a lot of different data, such as dividing the time into:
- sleeping time
- operating hours
- Taking care of family and children
- Social time
- Time alone
And so on, we scored this whole day from 0 to 10, and gave the main reasons for the impact score: for example, there is not enough sleep, work is not good, and sometimes it may be "not good relationship" General factors.
As the data gradually increases, we gradually discover some rules: For me, sleep is a very important reason that affects my happiness index. According to statistics, let me stay in a good state, the minimum sleep time that does not escape the pressure of life is five and a half hours. At the same time, if my solitude is less than 1 hour per week, my happiness index will drop drastically; for my husband, his happiness is fluctuating with friends going out and traffic jams.
After finding the reasons that affect their respective well-being, we also began to try to change and improve from small things.
I try to adjust my daily workload and increase my reading and thinking time. My husband started to commute by subway and then took a bike from the station to the company. In this way, he can not only reduce the time wasted in traffic because of traffic jams but also take the opportunity to exercise.
For example, as we all know, one of the most popular arguments for couples and couples is “who loves more people”: “Who is more hard” and “who does more housework”... such as my statistics When the husband and I feel that we are doing more than the other party, it is easy to create contradictions.
At this time, we will use this form to compare and discuss it objectively. If I spent 14 hours taking care of the children and doing housework, my husband only spent 3 hours, then I can justify it. Compared to the meaningless quarrel, we can completely allocate the numbers in the table to avoid more quarrels and complaints.
For another example, this form can also make us realize what it means to be a parental change. For me, it means less working time and time alone; for my husband, it means less commuting and social time.
In a way, this form really helps us recognize a lot of problems and has a direction to find a solution.
Before that, my life was very idealized:
My other half should know when I need to be alone and take the initiative to provide me with a private space; our previous appointments will be gradually realized, and the family social plans we need to deal with will be easily solved. Yes, a happy marriage and a happy family should come from the love and care of each other. Could it be a cold spreadsheet and a so-called “happiness index”?
The result also hit my face. Now I am starting to reconsider my views. From what I have experienced, this happiness index has not only made our marriage indifferent and rigid but has enabled us to have a clearer and more sincere dialogue.
Compared to the past, we have more control over our lives.