This post was born in Yerevan. One day the elevator broke down in the house and, descending the stairs, saw the door open. In Armenia, it is a cult - open doors, neighbors, coffee...
They enter the house without invitation. They pass through the carpets in the street shoes, into the hall, where the perfect cleanliness... for guests. Who evaluates the hostess during coffee-drinking - how cleaned, prepared, laid out and even how the laundry hangs! For guests it is a rating, what kind of daughter-in-law, wife, mother, etc.
The same thing happens to our feelings and emotions. The border of which the person builds throughout life. After all, people are not born at once with PERSONAL BRANDS but are laid down since childhood.
Most parents do not let the child feel like a separate person, trying to protect him/her, set their own boundaries, thoughts, and actions. Therefore, the child does not distinguish between this personal opinion and that imposed on others. In adult life, this is a fundamental problem of breaking personal boundaries. Which are necessary in order to understand where the personal emotions and actions, and where others are.
To understand if there are violations within the boundaries, answer the questions:
- Do I often do what I want to do or still please someone?
- Am I independent in personal affairs or do I ask others for their opinion?
- Do I often say "yes", but do I want to refuse?
Do you know people who know how to build these boundaries and protect their personal space? It's like defending a gate by a goalkeeper. Maybe it's you?