In childhood, the foundations on which our life path will be based are created. A child only needs love, care, and acceptance. Unfortunately in many families, this does not happen, causing deep existential cracks. A sad reality of indifference that the child will carry with him throughout his life.
There are many situations that the child cannot understand. Having neither the intellectual skills nor the emotional tools to do so. But indifference or rejection produces deep, unbridgeable suffering. That suffering is certainly perceived. Leaving indelible traces and wounds difficult to heal.
Indifference is violence.
- The most beautiful memories are those experienced as children. Maybe you open a closet and find the pullover given to you by your grandmother when you were a child. Smile, you are overwhelmed by a pleasant feeling of well-being. Because you are aware that you have experienced happy moments that have made you the person you have become.
- There should be hundreds of such memories and all the "grown-up children" should have them. But it's not like that. Many adults ignore the emotions they experience as children. Because in reality, they have never experienced them. On the contrary, they tend to remember only the climate of anguish and indifference that was perceived in the family. Negative emotions that in many cases drag on as adults and often changing into depressive disorders.
Parents too busy to love their children. Indifference towards a child should never be justified.
There are many, many reasons why a child may be ignored by the family. Usually, the key episodes are two, parents too busy with themselves (careers, hobbies). Families living in uneasy conditions. In the first case, it is essentially selfishness. Even the most brilliant of working careers can never be justified if you neglect your children. In the second case, well, often the condition of discomfort is so important that there is no emotional strength to fully love a child. But here you enter into a much broader discourse. Although there is no justification, at least it is possible to portray a minimum of social understanding.
What happens to adults when they experience a condition of social indifference as children?
Insensitivity a brand of childhood.
Being insensitive adults is one of those characteristics that you learn as a child. It is an unconscious attitude that has the taste of abandonment. Lack of love. Being ignorant during childhood allows children to believe that this is normal. It is, in one way or another, the result of the indifference to which he has been subjected. Adult insensitivity is seen as apathy. It can usually manifest itself towards others or life in general. This is because from an early age she learned to inhibit her emotions. But in reality, I hide an enormous need for affection.
Refusing the help of others.
In childhood, we need to be surrounded by reliable people. There are thousands of situations where you need the support, guidance or comfort of a parent, grandmother, brother or sister. Without these basic requirements, the child learns not to expect anything from others. He becomes "big" too quickly and aware that you have to be independent at all costs because no one in the family can or wants to be near you.
This is one of the most violent aspects of child indifference. In the moment of need, not having someone to comfort you, to guide you, is extremely traumatic. The consequences as adults will be inevitable. Do not trust anyone and try to do it all by yourself. Those who have suffered from this condition create an emotional armor, the fear of being disappointed again is a lot. So, better to do it yourself. The exact opposite can also happen. Some adults feel loved to seek help for anything, even the banalest. With the risk of going overboard.
Feeling empty.
The feeling of emptiness that causes childhood indifference is unbridgeable. As an adult, you can be a rewarded person, have a lovely family, children. But the feeling that a piece of your life has been stolen can never be removed. This feeling of emptiness becomes constant and accompanies you in all your moments of weakness. Nothing will ever be enough to feel fully satisfied with yourself.
Perfectionism.
Lack of love during childhood has multiple effects on perception. We grow aware that the fault of a lack of love was our own. Let us assume the conviction that to be loved we must be perfect. We must make as few mistakes as possible to be appreciated. As adults, it translates into trying to be precise in every aspect of life. But often being perfect, especially in a couple of relationships, can prove counterproductive. You lose your naturalness.
Hypersensitivity to rejection.
When the child feels ignored, he believes he is the wrong one. This leads him to believe that his life does not matter to others. That he hasn't done enough to be loved. It results in excessive sensitivity toward others. He often falls into the victimhood of themselves. Any sign of disapproval is interpreted as a threat. "No one understands you, no one loves you. Well, this is a very painful aspect. Maybe not everyone knows your past while growing up and may misinterpret some of your behaviors. Risking to pass as intolerant.
You love your children, indifference is violence.
Childhood is the most important time of any grown man or woman. You have to learn to be parents, to love your children unconditionally and to give them the highest priority. It is not right to give birth to a child and deprive him of the joy of being a child-like everyone else. It is not right to be conditioned by the future and in many cases emotionally destroyed. You have to be careful to leave your children out of discussions, out of problems. Avoid showing them your weaknesses. Know that no child has chosen to come into the world. But all children have the same right to be loved!