- For thousands of years, human beings have been trying to explain to each other the meaning of life, why we behave as we do, how our brains work exactly.
Even today, we do not know exactly. Of course, compared to a hundred years ago, our knowledge has improved a lot, especially with regard to psychology and neuroscience, but there is still no one who knows for sure the meaning of a life in which we are born, live and die.
Of course, religions, with different perspectives, try to guide the human being with philosophies, spirituality, and dogmas.
But who is not religious? Well, I don't think it's useful to explain to you how being religious or not makes a human being better or worse.
So what is the meaning? What is the objective of everything?
I tried to give my answer and in a few lines, I will illustrate it to you.
When I deal with the most delicate and burning issues, trying to give concrete advice to women in difficulty, the objection that is most often made is “eh, but it's not easy”.
You know, right? As at mass: repeat with me “sir, let us pray”.
You have to put yourself first — Eh, but it's not easy.
“You don't have to answer him if he disappears and comes back.”
“You need to understand what you really want” — “Eh, but it's not easy”
And I could go on for the rest of my life.
Now, my dear, it's clear that it's not easy but is this the smartest answer you can give me and you can give yourself?
It has been shown that the human brain remembers and reacts accordingly to the written or spoken words we write or say. In your opinion, when you repeat that “it is not easy”, will you have more or less difficulty in succeeding that specific task?
I don't mean you're not even right, for God's sake. It is right to be aware that living successful relationships is difficult. It really is. But repeating it only makes it even more complicated and tiring.
- It is clear that remembering one's own principles, understanding the other, making oneself understood, finding a balance, resisting impulses, knowing how to discuss, manage one's own emotions, forgiving, getting up after falling and many other aspects intrinsic to a human relationship is difficult. Very difficult. But precisely for this reason, it is important — yes, to know — but then concentrate their energies in doing their best, not in resigning themselves constantly remembering how complicated it is. In this way, you only condition yourself negatively, not exactly the best way to get the results you want.
- I don't know if you're a sports fan, but you certainly know when an auction jumper concentrates, maybe in the game for the gold medal, to rise to 6 meters, pass the auction and fall back down.
- In those moments, are you remembering that it is difficult? Is he visualizing the difficulty and failure or is he simulating in his head the movements he will have to make to find himself on the other side of the pole without dropping it?
I think the answer is obvious.
- Here, in your relationship life, it's exactly the same thing. In any case, you'll be manipulated, so you might as well do it in line with your goals!
- Now, let's go back to where we left off about the meaning of life and find the square.
Why do we want a relationship, even if it's very difficult?
- My answer is apparently simple: a successful relationship, in which you are the best yourself and can share your extraordinary life with another person, is what makes you feel alive, is what excites you, is what gives meaning to everything.
- The real reason it is worth being in a relationship is that in this way you can give full meaning to your life because, however difficult it may be, it is extremely rewarding for your emotions and your memories.
We don't know what will happen after death, but we do know that until the last second we will be able to feel emotions and have memories of our experiences.
Does this mean that those who are alone cannot make sense of their lives? In fact, there are a lot of single people who are fully gratified (at least apparently). In fact, relationships are not the only way to achieve this, but it is perhaps the most complicated because it involves the creation and maintenance of an intimate relationship with another person with whom to grow, deal with problems and build something.
And the human being, whether he is a woman or a man, loves challenges because the greater the challenge, the greater the gratification.
So, never give up. If your desire is to have a satisfactory relationship with your current partner or with a man you still have to find, do not let your fears or difficulties extinguish your possibilities.
It's always worth it.