I now have such a strange inner state, even a feeling as if inside there is a ball that is ready to jump out and fill the entire space with development.
I feel tired and tired (I'm in a 24-hour regime with my child and I can't help but affect the physical body of a fragile woman, and my husband is on a business trip) and at the same time, I have such a stable emotional wave. A wave of change.
Every day I fountain ideas for new projects, looking for what clicks inside. I'm hungry for change. I demand development from myself. And this is not the kind of development where it is enough to put on cool books, read, apply and absorb. It's more of a global cleanup. Cleaning at the internal level, both external and m
Everything is obviously shouted from every blogger's window, thousands of books have been published on this topic - it's a cleansing of one's own space, getting rid of old things, broken toys, inapplicable objects for more than three months.
The day before yesterday, we gave a lot of good shirts to our husband because we finally admitted that he wouldn't lose that much weight.
I've been giving away my things for only a month. And I wear things very carefully (except for colorless jeans). Carefully to such an extent that I myself sin with thoughts: "fashion is cyclical, and this dress, as new, let it lie down. No. Don't let him. It is time to change. It's time to grow up. It's time to let in new things. Yes, and shout: "I have nothing to wear" with the closet filled under the tie is not clever at all, and the half-empty space allows you to include in the family budget shopping for moms, so good uplifting.
As the completion of the purification of the space, we walk around the house with a candle, thanks to all the power and essence of cohabitation and letting them go into the other world for happiness. Such a shamanistic ritual that fills the house with purity and power. Try it!
We began to clean up the internal level 30 days ago, moving first to veganism paired with raw food, and now we have stopped at simple vegetarianism. I want to point out at once that I am not joining the ranks of these "parties". I'm not going to wrinkle my nose from my friends' leather boots, to throw away the furs I bought in an emergency. No.
I eat so much because I need it for my health. If it also saves the lives of ten chickens a year, gives me strength and removes extra pounds - I'm happy.
Meals should be as comfortable as shoes. You can't run away in big slippers, but wipe it all off in small ones.
Of course, it's still a long way from a real cleanse, but the process is running and I'm as happy as a March cat.
Mental. Everything here is so painful, so difficult. Each conclusion, each step causes a powerful explosion of energy consumption and a surge of emotion. Perhaps, the most large-scale work is going on at this level. And it has just begun.
This year, for the first time, I accepted and loved my body is absolutely not perfect shape, without reproachful looks in the mirror at the cellulite thighs and full hands, scars. Just accepting my body as it is. Favorite.
I suddenly realized that time goes by with me and my body doesn't get younger. And I'm wasting my time denying it.
No, no, I haven't stopped fighting cellulite and extra pounds. I improve myself, dreaming of achieving the most perfect shape of my body by the time I was thirty. But on the way to this, I love and enjoy it. That's probably why I started taking pictures on my Instagram in lingerie. Without embarrassment and embarrassment, accepting and enjoying my body. I am very grateful to myself for this.
The second step was the awareness that began to fill me, grounding me in places, removing the child's spontaneity. What to do with it, I have not yet understood. But consciousness began to lead many moments of my life. More and more I want to close my laptop, put my phone away and enjoy the moment. More and more often, consciously.
The third is to work on me like a wife. The most incomprehensible and difficult task, I must admit.
I basically live on the way: "the more you give, the more you have," but most often it works outside.
In a timid attempt to move from the dead-end of the family, I plunged into the gravel of knowledge. And the first book was "Five Languages of Love" by Gary Chapman.
Throughout the book, the author takes you by the hand in the lives of different couples, and in each of them, surprisingly, you find a reflection of your own marriage.
The book is written in very simple language, but with an interesting idea. The author suggests and proves that there are five languages of love and each person speaks perfectly in one or two. In this case, the languages of love do not necessarily have to coincide in pairs.
Languages are as follows: words, touching (not only sex), gifts, time (from a series of dates), care (life, care).
I like this theory, because no matter how much you spin it, but when you love a person, you give something: either attention, affection, surprises, home comfort, care, etc.
This book led me to the idea that one of the main tasks in marriage is to satisfy the emotional need for love. And do not forget that love, like everything else in our lives, is a choice. And we can make this choice today.