“The babble is omnipotent”
A baby is a terrific little thing. It looks soft and weak, but it is a life with magical power, initiative, and vitality. He is very smart and has a way to influence the environment around him.
Let's take a look. Before he was born, the adults prepared for his arrival early and waited closely. After birth, they worked closely together. The baby becomes a center, and the adults turn around him.
24 hours of waiting all day, this is not enough, people are easily attracted by this little thing, put down the frame, in order to get the reward of his smile, they try to make 18 martial arts to please him. And that baby, it seems to be so accustomed to all this and is indifferent to the happiness or exhaustion of adults.
This kind of emptiness, only my own stance, was described by the self-psychologist Kohut as “the omnipotent” “baby squat”.
This is the primary narcissism of the early human race.
For babies, this egocentricity is normal. In the earlier stages of human life, the more important the feeling of “I am the center of everything”.
When the mother can cooperate with the baby's development and provide enough good care and good emotional response to the baby's body, the baby can slowly come out of this self-centered state, and if it is mature enough, it will naturally break. The chickens coming out of the shall step by step out of their own small world, willing to reach more people and go further.
Of course, this is inseparable from the mother or the early caregivers. We assume that the mother here is a mother who can take care of the child's needs. Then, the child gets the most important wealth in his life — all can't bring it. A sense of security, this will have a very important role in his life. My mother’s heartfelt appreciation for this child plays a very important role here.
“Appreciating the importance of young children”
Appreciation is not only important for babies and young children, but adults also have an ongoing need to appreciate the response from someone.
- “I need to be recognized.” (The speaker is frustrated.)
- “You are already very good, many people are not as good as you?”
- “I know that I sometimes comfort myself like this, but it doesn't work, I still want to be recognized.”
- “Well, I have already approved you now, why are you not happy?”
- “I am happy, but I found that it can only last for a while, I still don't believe that I am really good, hey, maybe I am not confident enough.”
Being recognized is like a recurring curse that looks beautiful but like the fate of Sisyphus. Every success is followed by the coming of failure. This is never-ending. Getting recognition from others is the way to improve self-confidence and the goal of life, but fate seems to always be in the hands of others. Such a life is really desperate.
When a child is young, he will long for the vision that his mother approves, and from this vision, I feel “I am cute, I am loved”, under the concern of this kind of love. He learns to walk, eat, dress, sing, read books, and play games.
Appreciated, in autopsy psychology, there is a more expressive name — mirroring, that is, parents' positive reaction to their children, can reflect the child's self-worth feeling, and gradually become the child's inner self-esteem, which supports the child “ I am perfect, and you love me. This feeling of yourself and the world makes children develop and maintain their ambitions of self-esteem and self-affirmation even without the approval of others.
This mirrored demand is indispensable in the development of self-esteem. It is the source of healthy intentions and self-worth and will be internalized as the basis for children's higher form of narcissism, including creativity and humor. Positive acceptance of self-worth and healthy intentions.
For a long time, narcissism has a derogatory color. But Kohut suggested that people are essentially narcissistic in nature and will maintain this narcissistic need throughout their lives. Human narcissism will find its place in the continuum of morbid narcissism to healthy narcissism. Only excessive narcissism, exaggeration to the reality, and the pain of being unable to adapt to the individual is unhealthy.