There is an old saying in China that is “three years old and big, seven years old”, which is not unreasonable. The psychoanalytic genre founded by Freud, the originator of psychotherapy, has repeatedly emphasized the important influence of a person's childhood experience on personality formation. In the development and revision of the theory of psychoanalytic genre for many years, the “childhood experience” contains a variety of factors, ranging from social culture to small and intimate caregivers, all of which are continually shaping the formation of a person's personality.
American psychologist Harlow has done a series of experiments to study the relationship between mother and baby in monkeys. In these experiments, Harlow made a series of props with wire to make them look like monkey mothers. He isolated the newly born baby monkey from the monkey group and lived with the props. These “fake moms” provide enough food and moisture for the little monkeys, but they are emotionally cold, unresponsive, and even ruthlessly hurt the little monkeys — there are some props that will spurt gas, tear the skin of the little monkey, or pop up The wire was used to stab the little monkey. The experiment found that these little monkeys were instinctive, and no matter how “fake mother” hurts it, it still clung to the monkey mother. In the process of growing up, the little monkey gradually became depressed and autistic, and could not socialize in the ethnic group. These little monkeys who have suffered emotional trauma, like parents, are as cold and violent as their own children, and imaginary abuses occur.
In today's view, this series of experiments is cold and brutal, but there is no doubt that Harlow first proved the need for love of primates with scientific methods. The lack of love (or inappropriate satisfaction) in the early years will lead to the impaired personality development of a person. In the process of getting along with others, there will be inappropriate, “out of control” emotional reactions or behaviors.
This sounds desperate. Because we are born unable to choose our own family and grow our environment. If childhood determines a person's personality, can we really do nothing?
We still talk about it from the experiment. In Harlow's series of sad experiments, he discovered a promising phenomenon. When these traumatized monkeys are returned to the ethnic group, they appear autistic, depressed, and unable to communicate, but when the ethnic group has some healthy, lively, and friendly little monkeys, they are obsessively interacting with these traumatic little monkeys. After a month, these traumatized monkeys slowly emerged from depression and became able to socialize. Harlow called the group of monkeys “monkey therapists.”
Coincidentally, some scientists have tracked a group of children who grew up in slums, whose parents are prostitutes and drug addicts. They have grown into healthy individuals, have a healthy personality, have established stable families, have good incomes, and even in the upper-middle class. Small achievements. During the tracking process, the scientists found that children who had a bad childhood, but we're healthy and healthy, had a playmate or a senior who had encountered a “monkey therapist” during their teenage years. They borrowed from these people. Attach to another value, or get the feeling of love from these “therapists”.
In addition, in recent years, the concept of “plastic brain” has been continuously proposed in the field of neuroscience. It is believed that in the process of brain development, new experiences are constantly being reshaped, which can create a new circuit for the nervous system. That is to say if one thing has been unpleasant, and if a new experience—such as a happy feeling of doing this thing—repeated, the new experience can replace the old experience, and you change. The amygdala is responsible for the storage of the sensed memory, and the “old wound” is cured.
The childhood experience is the same, no matter how much it affects your personality formation. When people are independent adults, there is still a chance to change and cure.