1. Setting life goals and defining ways to achieve them
The goal of life should not be the only one, because it immediately blocks the satisfaction of all other needs and leads to either deformation of the personality or rejection of the chosen goal, to the loss of time and opportunities. In addition, the only goal acquires the character of supersignificant, and in case of failure a person experiences a collapse of the whole life.
As a rule, life goals affect at least five areas of human activity.
- Profession. What do I want to become? What attracts me to this profession, why did I choose it? What will this profession give me for life? What do I have to invest in my profession to become a good specialist?
- Personal life and family. Do I want to have a family? Do I want to have children? What kind of relationships do I want to build in my family or in partnership? Will I determine the time frame for establishing a serious relationship or will I leave it to chance and fate? Will I look specifically for a suitable partner or do I think it should happen by itself? How do I envisage the division of responsibilities in the family? What kind of person should my partner be? What does he have to bring to our relationship? What can I bring to the relationship? What can I be of interest to my chosen one? What qualities do I already have, what qualities should I develop?
- Self-realization. Will I be able to satisfy my interests with the help of my profession and family, friendships, or are there any other interests that lie outside of these areas of life? What are these interests, needs? How can I satisfy them? What do I have to do to do this?
- Finance. What financial situation do I aspire to, how can I achieve it? If there is a conflict between achieving the desired financial situation and my interests in the professional and other fields, what would I prefer and what would be easier for me to give up?
- Physical condition and health. Is everything okay with my physical condition and health? If not, what do I need to change to remedy the situation? Does my health condition allow me to achieve my goals?
Do I risk my health for a purpose or for pleasure? If so, how dangerous is this risk? To what extent can my risky behaviour interfere with the achievement of my goals? Are these risks justified? What do I risk my health and life for?
It is not uncommon for young people (and adults too) to formulate more easily what they do not want. For example, "I don't want to live like my parents", "I don't want to spend the rest of my life with paperwork, I need something alive". As a result, they focus on the undesirable, and life is built on avoiding certain circumstances. There is no purposeful movement. Therefore, it is important to help the teenager to clearly imagine what he wants. It is best if these ideas are expressed in words, images, and concrete plans.
Unfortunately, it is precisely this clear structural planning that is most difficult for teenagers. Well, they don't like to do it! Associationally, such exercises are associated with their lessons. On the other hand, they like to play role-playing and social games, which are connected with romantic heroes, unusual life circumstances or with achieving success in any stories about "adult" life. The need for action planning can be added to the game, so that the teenager learns the method itself and then easily transfers it to real life.
Another important component of planning is a realistic assessment of one's capabilities and limitations. This includes:
- Assessing your financial capacity and readiness (for example, to enter an institute);
- Assessment of one's readiness to work towards the achievement of goals (e.g., for a person who wants to travel to different countries but does not choose a profession to do so, does not want to learn languages, does not have the financial means and is not prepared to make efforts to create the appropriate conditions, but instead expects a miracle to happen, it becomes almost impossible to achieve such a goal);
- Assessment of one's physical abilities and limitations (for example, a person who has never played sports is unlikely to be a cosmonaut, and a chubby little girl is unlikely to be a model, but they can find application in related professions, for example, a programmer who provides space devices or a designer who creates beautiful outfits);
- assessment of territorial limitations (whether it is possible to realize one's goals in the place of residence or whether one has to go somewhere to do so).