Development of behavioral models that allow to communicate freely (these are the so-called models of successful communication), to express one's opinion (often a person does not express his/her opinion not because he/she does not dare, but because he/she does not know the rules that allow to express it without offending others).
- Development of assertiveness, i.e. ability to communicate with others confidently, but not aggressively, to make compromises, taking into account both one's own and others' opinions and needs. Express your negative feelings without accusing or attacking others. Develop the ability to say a categorical "no" calmly and firmly, leaving no doubt that there will be no other answer. Learn to refuse, while emphasizing respect for the other person and showing attention to his opinion.
- To develop the ability to understand the true causes of conflicts and to behave according to the possibilities for their resolution. I must say, the skill is extremely complex, and not every adult, wise experience person is able to behave competently in a conflict situation. The development of this important skill remains a major challenge for adolescence, as it helps to avoid violence, obedience to the strongest, as well as to feel confident in difficult situations and to build positive self-esteem.
- The development of the ability to influence and motivate people "in a civilized manner". Unfortunately, these skills are seldom noticed, sometimes considering them unnecessary, sometimes - manipulative techniques, and in vain: motivating people to achieve any goals is an important and significant thing for any leader. It is impossible to be a leader and not be able to influence people and motivate them. Teaching a teenager to motivate openly, relying on people's needs, and not manipulating them at all, is exactly the task for teachers, educators, psychologists and trainers.
Usually, trainings on the prevention of drug addiction, deviant behavior and other areas for adolescents and youth contain a theme on leadership development. The topic is necessary and expedient - the leader is confident in himself/herself, able to build effective relations with others and successfully resists negative influences (unless, of course, he/she is a "negative leader"), knows what he/she wants and strives for, is able to achieve the desired goal, is able to organize and motivate people to achieve the desired goal. As you can see, it is a set of qualities that we have talked about. Thus, the leader is a young man who intuitively or specifically (at trainings, special classes, with the help of literature, etc.) was able to successfully solve their age problems, effectively used personal resources and developed the qualities and skills that lead to successful socialization and effective solution of further life tasks (career, professional skills, organization of personal life, material well-being, etc.).
Development of the ability to build close, open relationships
Without an open, trusting relationship, there can be no friendship or love, i.e. exactly what the teenager wants most, so the ability to build close relationships is the most important task of adolescence. And this ability is impossible to develop by simply working on the techniques and skills of communication, it lies in the depths of the person's soul. It gradually grows out of other personal qualities and skills (some of which are already listed).
Thus, in order to build close relations it is necessary to learn first of all:
- Accept and respect oneself (it is necessary to distinguish selfishness from love for oneself, overestimated claims and self-confidence from self-confidence).
- Resolve conflicts on the basis of the principle of "let everyone be okay", and not on the principle of "though the grass will not grow, but will be in my opinion.
- Accept the fact that a close person can not always be happy only with us, sometimes for his development and success he needs to go his way, on which we have no place.
This is the most difficult fact to understand, but if it is not accepted, then close relationships become a trap for neighbors, freedom is limited by numerous conditions and dependence, which causes internal rejection, closeness, avoidance of communication. It is necessary to talk about it, because it is in adolescence, there is a desire for super-rigid requirements in friendship and love. Any partner's behavior beyond these limits is regarded as betrayal and causes violent reactions up to and including violence and/or suicidal acts.