Reading how friends communicate with each other, I always see the difference between male and female friendships. And the difference concerns not the sex of friends, but the sex of those with whom they are friends. That is, women and men are friends with a woman in about the same way: they feed her the crown. They feed generously so that the turnip grows bigger. But with a man and women and men are friends quite differently: the crown is trying to knock down or at least not to let her grow more. This is visible from childhood, girls are pitied and praised much more.
That's why women's self-esteem is on average so weaker, more dependent and distorted than men's.
When the crown falls, the woman feels insignificant and sees that men's self-esteem is more stable, so she feels that men's self-esteem is higher. No. Adequate. The difference between the self-esteem of an average man and an average woman is not just a difference, but an abyss. And the saddest thing is that many adult women are looking for a source of problems with self-esteem in the fact that they are not praised enough!
They feel that they have been criticized too often, they have been denied approval. Not enough! More!
That is, their self-esteem is not only lame on both feet but also hungry as a hundred devils. Their self-esteem was almost completely replaced by the crown.
What is self-esteem at all?
It is not a source of delicacies and pleasures, as it seems to some. It is an essential tool for assessing its significance, a tool for spatial orientation. The main part of that very vision that makes a darkroom light. Normal self-assessment should instantly measure your level in a particular situation or topic. Both the level of competence, and the level of relevance, and the level of demand. And the more adequate and realistic your self-esteem is, the more your assessment of yourself coincides with the objective reality. You will never overestimate yourself. You will definitely separate where you have influence and where you do not. You will quickly decipher any feedback. And if your self-esteem is really good, the conclusion will not bring you any anguish and suffering, even if it turns out that your significance is somewhere or for someone is low. You will simply use this data to adequately build the boundaries, and it will be a comfortable position for you, with the prospect of increasing importance. No tears or pain, just an analysis. Good self-esteem is not connected with emotions at all, on the circle of Ego, it is the element of the earth. Practically mathematics, calculation.
But most women's self-esteem - it's something like a penis in men, with its help is extracted high. Self-esteem is completed with a crown to stroke and shakes it all the time, getting pleasure. As men in their youth are wondering if they can grow a bigger penis, most women are looking for a way to grow a crown in their old age.
Men also raise a crown, men also have a huge crown, but you can compare by letter how wild and incredible a man looks in a big crown, madman, freak or troll. And a woman in a crown of the same size (the same size) is a sight familiar. It may even seem that the crown of this woman is much smaller, so familiar she looks. No, the crown is the same, but the limits of the norm are shifted.
This is a systemic gender problem, but the essence of it is that women get too much care.
They are too much to praise, they are almost consoled, they are protected from stress, they are lied to not be upset. Parents, spouses, and friends of both sexes do this.
And the women reading my blog won't have any progress in forming boundaries, no matter how hard I try, they'll never move from the fish level until they get rid of these chocolate candy vases. If you eat a lot of candy every morning, and then during the day and always overnight, do not dream of a slender figure. Do not dream of a normal self-esteem if you resort to friends, girlfriends, and subscribers in the installation to feed your crown more than once a day. You will remain a loose fatty in terms of boundaries and your figure in the field will always be like a kissel.
And look at what a simple solution it is.
Just stop pulling the crown food from your friends, acquaintances, and girlfriends and your crown will lose weight in weeks and disappear in three months. If you don't see how you're pulling, stop taking it. Reflexive the moment of feeding the crown and stop.
Do not be afraid to die of exhaustion, without the crown, no one has died yet, all, on the contrary, come to life and begin to live, and not to stagnate. Women commentators, if you regularly or sometimes come to your friends for support and food for your crown, can you reflex how you pull out this food? And those women who consider themselves generous and happy to come to the rescue to praise, approve and support with words, can you reflex the harm of this, or do you see only kindness and goodness?
And the question for men is. You are very loyal to women, you are ready to spoil them endlessly with praise and compliments, and not only your wives (their wives in default - no), and any pleasant women. You will never support a man in what you willingly support a woman. Can you reflex it and share the analysis?