We want the child to show interest, but interest in what? We want the child to do something, but what exactly? "Anything but sitting in front of the TV is not the best answer. Alan Kazdin, Doctor of Psychology and Director of the Yale Center for Childrens' Upbringing and Children's Clinic, gives some advice on how we can help children feel interested in something.
1. Set a goal
Make a clear list of the activities you would like to involve your child in. A great option is to do what you call "trial classes. The child could get an idea of things like dancing, sports, musical instruments, science, gardening and gardening. You will understand what exactly attracts the child's interest and what could be studied more deeply.
Does she like animals? Does he love martial arts films? Why not? Try to find out how to be as clear as possible as possible about the nature of the possible interest. She might end up volunteering at an animal shelter or riding school, for example. And he might want to learn more about kung fu or how to make movies.
2. Set requirements
It is very useful to establish as early as possible the reasonable and not too complicated requirements for the child. For example, it is very useful to agree on things that the child should do at home. This will not be of much help to you in your household, but it will be extremely helpful for your relationship. It is also a much easier way for the child to understand what you expect from him or her.
Motivation can be developed like any other habit. When you are constantly expecting your child to do something more and more, it teaches them that it is perfectly normal for them to be active and participate in life. This awareness can become a powerful force, opposing passivity and loss of interest.
3. Show by personal example
Parents are often inclined to teach and talk and pay much less attention to the possibility of influencing children by example. And it is the personal example of parents that is particularly important. You can use your own model of life to develop your child's character, interests and motivation.
For example, if you like to do something outside the home, take him/her with you if possible. Museums, social or political events, sports, volunteering - no matter what. The main thing is that you have fun. By taking your child with you, you, firstly, motivate him, and secondly, strengthen your relationship.
Of course, the joint performance of ordinary household chores, such as shopping and cleaning, also serve this purpose. But now we are talking about something else: to involve the child in activities that will help him/her to define his/her own interests, develop skills, acquire knowledge and skills. They fuel the child's desire to do something outside the home. And your direct participation has an impact on his or her perception.
4. Develop skills
Many of the skills can be developed in a child without personal example. But it is important to help him or her acquire new knowledge and skills and introduce him or her to new activities. Maybe he or she will do something for many years to come, and this will bear fruit in the form of his or her social involvement.
For example, music lessons are not just about learning to play a musical instrument. By participating in concerts, a school orchestra, he will make new acquaintances from among musicians, and this will motivate him to develop.
5. Give hidden clues
How do you get a passive child to show interest in something? This should be done carefully, without any pressure, using any possibilities. We often do not even realize the details and details that influence our decisions and actions. The brain is constantly busy processing information, and most often it happens at an unconscious level.
"During the research we observed how the brain being scanned reacts to certain stimuli, but the subject of the research usually answers the question "What happened?" with the answer "Nothing," says Alan Kazdin. - During our research, we also found that if a clue is shown too quickly to be noticed by the subject, the subconscious still uses it to make decisions. For example, the mild smell of detergents makes people start to clean up their desks. But if you ask them why they did it, they won't say anything about the smell, but rather some convincing arguments that have nothing to do with it.
Books, magazines, a musical instrument ready to play... Let these (motivating) objects always be in the sight of the child. This does not require much effort, let them just lie where they are very easy to see. This technique promises a serious result, but it is important to allow the child to interact with such clues.
Just imagine: the daughter just took a quick look at the magazine, and you're already breaking into the room and starting to exclaim, "Oh, have you seen these pictures? They're amazing, aren't they? I booked us a ticket to go there for the weekend! You're likely to kill all interest in this. Let your child figure out what to do with this lead. Use the power of personal example to unobtrusively show how to do it.
6. Encourage communication
Encourage the child when he invites friends home. Then your home will become a central place and will have an impact on your child for a long time. Once they reach adolescence, children often separate you from your friends. But if you are ready to accept his new world, you have a chance to avoid such rejection. You can also observe and protect him without treating him like a child.
In this case, it is also easier for the teenager to resist when his peers will have a negative impact on him. If you plan to do something outside the home, let your child invite friends. Gradually, the need for your participation will disappear, because the child will start to choose where to go, he or she will have his or her own preferences.
If you accept his or her friends into your family, you will take the first step towards maintaining a close relationship for years to come, without suppressing it or forcing him or her to choose between you and your peers.