One of the challenges of the job is that people do not let themselves escape from their trauma and problems.
I think we've come to work, and there's not much progress. Everyone is walking around the bush. There are people who do not go anywhere to decide anything, because you can not solve anything. In many cases it is not a force of circumstances. Yes, everything in the world cannot be fixed. The point is that we need to start living somehow, so that nothing happens or happens. For example:
- There are situations when suffering is socially acceptable. Moreover, society prescribes suffering because "it is normal". If a person ceases to suffer and is tormented at some point, then his or her relatives are literally stuck back into suffering. "Divorced and stayed with the children? Something too happy. In addition, many believe that violence of any kind in a person's life should leave an indelible wound on the heart, which should be regularly checked for healing.
- "I'll forget about it. If something bad has happened to a person, he or she should keep the fire of hatred inside him or herself.
- "I have changed. Yes, people change all the time, the brain is changing, but there is a category of people who have been meditating on the fact of change for a long time and actively. "When I was 20 years old, I was easy to get up and initiative. Now I have changed. I am not like that at all. It's a big deal" (this is usually a conversation to the fact that the changes have put a fat and indelible point in a person's life)
- "Others are to blame." When a person constantly thinks about the guilt of others, he completely deprives himself of the opportunity to change something in life. It turns out that everything is okay with him, with others is abnormal. And since it is impossible to change people so that they do only my loved one everything for the benefit of, it is impossible, then such a position puts a bold cross on any progress.
- "Life is unfair to me. Hell, yes, it is. In some situations, life is unfair to us. Not always everybody gets what they deserve, not all our plans and expectations are realized. But life will not become fairer if we keep this belief to ourselves. And then, if you have not got what you wanted, be sure, others have not got what you have.
- Fear that after you quit running around with your psychotrauma, you will have to do something on the merits.
For many people to stop running around with a problem or to start working with negative feelings in their lives is to give up, to show weakness. In fact, many painful life stories and situations should be taken for granted, pushed back and started to live. In general, one day you have to take responsibility, get out of the past into the present and let your wounds heal in peace. And even better, to treat them. To say to myself, "I don't suffer, and that's good. I stopped torturing myself and mocking myself.
Naturally, psycho-traumatic material is not easily understood. People pick it for themselves without being noticed, making themselves unhappy. If you want to stop bullying yourself, pay attention to the following things:
- You are constantly complaining about the same thing.
- In your head there are always thoughts about what people would have to do to prevent you from getting negative feelings.
- Constant anxiety that something has been done wrong in the past, and how it characterized you then, and how it has undermined your present and future.
- The impossibility to forgive yourself for something in the past and the constant thought of "ugly me".
- Building schemes for others, what they have to do to prevent you from having unpleasant experiences.
- The past does not allow you to do anything about the present.
- Jealousy for someone else's success.
These are all iron anchors that don't let you go anywhere in this life. Anchor in the ground, chain tied to your leg, all you can do is run around the anchor.
What you can do for yourself to start moving around and get off the hook:
- Living in the present, recognizing your past and planning your future. People tend to live in the past or the future, and run through the present with their eyes literally closed.
- One must respect one's own abilities and the possibility of these abilities to develop. People can learn a lot. But perfectionism should be left aside. Very many people do not need to reach the highest levels in any question. There is no point in throwing away the passion for astronomy, if at this age, the astronauts do not take in astronauts.
- We must admit that no matter how hard you try in life, there are bad times, you may not cope with something, pass, worry and roll back. This is a normal part of life. Not everything can be controlled. The problem is that many people, when they fall, do not let themselves get up and admit to being legless.
- Accept the fact that pain in life happens, and without it, do not go anywhere. This is the wound on the heart that can be picked or treated. No one needs to be told how people who have been physically injured recover. Those who move and work with themselves - recover much faster than those who lie in bed and do not move.
- Everybody has false attitudes and garbage in their heads that we collect during our lives. Find them and clean up in your head. And all the more reason to avoid situations where you can collect additional rubbish in your head.