Probably in every third commercial with the participation of women, we can see a certain lady who is on the verge of clinical depression about the disorder in the household. And every day the TV shows some new problems not covered by the mistress which to have in the house, oh, how shameful it is. Many women did not even know before the appearance of this genre of television that, for example, the laundry, which is not whiter than white, is a dirty stain on their reputation. And here, look, the woman on the screen is thinking about her family, and she is rushing around the house that the tile does not shine, and I am watching TV. What a shame!
Yes, the household and housework were mostly female prerogative. But, in principle, women in the past knew roughly what to do to make the house look good and she was a good mistress. Even in "house-building" it was all prescribed. Now creative workers and marketers of cleaning products do not sleep at night, think that it is still possible to clean and wash the house, that the competitors have not yet invented.
Thus, there is no limit to the improvement of the household. Of course, not all women are fond of running a household to fanaticism. They have a general idea of what is enough for a well-functioning family and what imperfections they can live with. But the other part cannot afford it.
For some ladies, the farm becomes the subject of obsessive (intrusive) attention and activity. This is the main problem that can never be solved. It is always in the process of solution. And even if it is already 12 o'clock in the morning and everything is shining, a woman's brain begins to scan carefully the environment in search of her punctures as a hostess. And in general, if you stopped, sat down for a minute, then you gave up and the house is running. For this reason, such a woman is busy with housework all the time. She can't go for a walk, unless it's on the farmstead or in a shop. And what kind of theaters and movies are there, when after the morning cleaning under the rim of the toilet already lined up in the line of microbes.
Obsessive hostesses can be of 2 types, active and passive.
Active hostess is always vigorous, optimistic and mobile. All day long at work. She feels she is doing her duty to her family and will do good to her family under any circumstances. Her authority cannot be challenged. Whoever tries to do so can be added to the list of enemies. She perceives claims as a personal challenge. Her apartment is the cleanest, the food is the most delicious, and her opinion about farming is the most correct. Such a lady is constantly in a state of competition and irreconcilable struggle with other housewives, real and imaginary. She is constantly improving herself and looking for punctures from others and criticizing them fiercely to raise her morale and self-esteem. A rival can be her daughter-in-law, who will always find some imperfections in the house and some of the dust that her mother-in-law raises in importance to the apocalypse. In the opposite situation, the daughter-in-law is so active towards her mother-in-law. It can also be a neighbor, acquaintance, girlfriend, colleague. Or maybe some other abstract character who looks over her shoulder and sees all the imperfections. But she courageously continues her work: let her stand and see that he has no chance to make any claims. Everything is perfect.
Such a hostess usually has an inner voice, which she constantly attacks and teaches him to live. How hard is it? How did you want it? In war, like in war. Should we twist tomatoes? Don't spin, she won't get herself caught in a jar like a submarine in a boat.
She never admits mistakes and does not reveal her failures and weaknesses. Such mistresses like to brag. This bragging is often an active attempt to hide some of her own mistakes, which are known only to her. Or it's an aggressive sortie into the enemy's rear in order to establish superiority.
In the era of the Internet, such ladies began to appear online more and more often, looking for some signs of mismanagement. They stigmatize and burn verb lazybones, fools and neummeh. These ladies get real pleasure from someone's fall or even a small puncture in the economy. But if someone calls her own creation on the blog "not bad" or "average", or if commentators find some small flaw in it, it really kills her.
A passive obsessive hostess is in a state of permanent prokrasinatsii in the domestic sphere. For her there is a principle of "everything or nothing". Realizing that everything is impossible, she chooses the second one. But not with an easy heart. The lady constantly chews herself, scolds and depresses in every possible way about the fact that there is so much homework around, and she can't get up and do it. She easily agrees with all claims in her uselessness as a hostess, even those that are completely irrelevant. It is easy to patch herself up with active obsessive mistresses. Part of it starts to justify itself by referring to fatigue, work, children, etc. But then it comes to the idea that all this is not an argument or an excuse. It is necessary to keep up with it. Sometimes it seems that it takes on business, but it gets tired or fails. The lady confirms to herself that she is a worthless hostess and is sad about it again.
She likes the punctures of others, too. I'm glad that "I'm not worse than everybody else" and "others have it too". On the Internet, these women sit to confirm their inability to run the house, but also gladly find punctures of active obsessive mistresses. But complaints are never voiced out loud, they get their pleasure in silence and silence.
She also has a voice-critic who constantly pokes in the dirt and ugliness, accuses her of laziness and worthlessness. Sometimes she begins to object weakly, sometimes even to overburden herself, but always takes the position that she even before perfection to go and go. And it is unlikely that she will be able to reach him.
The basis of this behavior, often reduced self-esteem. The woman doubts that it can be valuable and useful somehow differently. She believes that nothing is worth doing without a household, and no one will love her if she does not do it well. And since her deep belief that she is not needed, and she often feels it all the time, there are no limits to her household chores. No matter how much you do, they don't like or appreciate it. Husband praises? He is just mocking.
Household is not only an attempt to get love, it is also a method of stress control. Anxiety on any occasion is constantly poured out in the work at home. The worse and more disturbing it is, the more active it is, the more places it finds in its home with hidden dust. After all, there can always come some other people, unknown who, and all the ugliness will be found. She would be ashamed to turn away from her, her family would break up, her husband would find another one, and the children would be in a bad company.
Such behavior of a woman is considered by many to be desirable and commendable. Condition pushes her to self-improvement, she is always at work and does everything herself, the house is full of bowl. She does not have time for girlfriends and shows. Her husband is pleased to invite guests to the house. Here will come and ahnut, what kind of wife he got. I agree that formally everything is very good. But all the same can be done without fanaticism and excessive aggression and self-aggression. In this state, women often isolate themselves, because there are a lot of people around to compete with. They often spoil relations with relatives. And not only daughters-in-law and mother-in-law. Mother's daughters are constantly being sawn down for improper farming. That is, the house can be run with pleasure, not as a proof of its usefulness and fear of losing control in life.