Nowadays, there is a lot of talk about how life has turned out, about the topic, whether a person is lucky in life or not. The topic is hot, because the role of lucky people and losers is very active in society. A loser, in the eyes of society, is almost a hopeless being who will never get anything in life. It is possible to find in shops and in a network a huge quantity of different books, about how to overcome a villain of destiny, but few people believe in efficiency of councils. It is believed that the "loser" is almost a congenital condition, with which nothing can be done.
The idea of "lucky" and losers, like every narcissistic idea, has no boundaries and indicators. It is possible to find some signs of a loser in any person with a little bit of fantasy tension. A millionaire? But he is lonely. Or a patient. Or a fat freak. Or something else. And here his breeder pressed the competitor. Chetam, the loser!
But in fact, most often, the assessment of their luck comes from the person. After all, every individual wants luck and success, and the parameters of these states are individual. A come-something important is the family who has a career. If there is no such person, you can safely call yourself a loser. In general, people consider themselves losers and all the troubles are caused by it.
A typical loser is a person who chronically devalues himself or belittles his dignity with virtuoso skills of self-abotage. Self-sabotage can be of different strengths. In some cases, a person does not allow himself to step down, so that everything in his life is not to ruin, and sometimes quite strongly succeeds in different areas of life, but from time to time with a rumble slips down the social ladder or sits in a puddle in public.
Some of the losers can be described as quiet, some as "lush". Since nature is diverse, there are also transitional options. The quiet can quietly and methodically ruin their lives by destroying families and destroying deadlines, and the "loud" can do it very loudly with napalm and carpet bombs. If you fall into hell, you can drag all your enemies down with you.
Thus, the losers are different, but have a number of similarities:
1. With any, even the slightest, failure, they fall into panic and anger. Aggression is directed at yourself and others. On the latter more. Losers often consider themselves hostages of bad fate, victims, kind but trusting. They enjoy their kindness and then wipe their feet. Those around them do not need to be particularly guilty. Some unknown citizen can buy the last dozen eggs in front of a loser. And why everything? And because this villain-unknown at once, from afar, understood that he was dealing with a loser. In the dairy department, the scoundrel deliberately overtaken, trimmed the poor man and grabbed a box of eggs. And this ugly guy stands in the cash register with a stone face, and inside laughs ominously. Well, it's a grotesque, but, after all, it often comes to such paranoia. In light cases, the eggs slipped out of their hands spoil the mood and serve as a reminder of the eternal failures of life.
2. In general, life is very unfair for them. After all, a loser is worthy of all the best, but all around the enemies. They capture the best places and resources. Nobody can be trusted. Even the best friend can eat the last candy from the vase or win the lotto. And so, as soon as something bad happened in life, it's a sign that somewhere hidden enemies. They need to be found, punished, caught up and punished again. And also to remember the scoundrels always. Today they win the lotto, and tomorrow the knife is stuck in the back.
3. it is difficult for them to express their opinion or formulate their personal desires or form personal dreams. For them, happiness is only welfare objects that can be felt. In other words, no one will dispute the presence of a yacht or a house in Switzerland. If you don't have one, your life is full of d. They are very sarcastic and ridiculous about any suggestion that you can feel happy without a yacht. It is unbelievable to believe that someone is married and without a boat. These people are constantly in the process of checking their signs of well-being and comparing them with other people. Sometimes, when they discover their advantage over others, they are briefly released. In general, they are always in competition with someone, catching up with someone, or chasing them away.
4. People are mostly set to look for the negative. They concentrate failures in their heads. They have reduced self-esteem. Even if they are better off than others, they will find a disadvantage. There are no disadvantages, they can be invented.
5. They are often arrogant, laughing and mocking others, looking for signs of failure and gossiping.
Often, they are taught a sense of mandatory competition with anything they can theoretically compete with as a child. Parents say that there are children in nature who are better and you have to look up to them, fight to be the same and even better. And don't relax! You sat down for a minute and you were overtaken and you are already swallowing the dust behind you.
At school, they are outcasts, and they are constantly being baited by their peers for every failure. Even if such a child does the same thing as everyone else, it is his or her failure that can lead to persecution of his or her classmates. In addition, academic failure, body image and financial failure of the family, which cannot give the child the same material signs of well-being as other children, can also cause the child to feel like a failure. Yes, this may seem like a vulgar bourgeoisie to many adults, but for children in a children's group, even the erasure of the right color may be an opportunity to feel included in the group.
And even if everything was fine in childhood, a person can feel like a loser being an adult. Yes, it is the influence of the surrounding society, which dictates its values. Plus, a rather long negative feedback from the surrounding world can change the attitude of a person to himself.
What to do with it?
1. In the beginning, it is necessary to determine what is a success, and how much it is needed in this form, as it seems. Does a yacht really make herself happy for the rest of her life? Or does she need something else to be happy?
2. Look actively for advantages and strengths in yourself. But to do so: they found a plus and immediately shut up their criticism.
3. Write that scenario, in which you yourself fester and make a victim of yourself, and of other enemies. Make a raite and tragedy turn into some more optimistic work of art. And in the event that you crawl back to the usual genre, rewrite it again.
4. Make yourself count your luck in the first place. Find and write down what you do well in a day. And even if it's bad, you still need to think about what's good about it. Sometimes, even a stupid pull of the positive makes life a bit dull and hopeless.
5. Show sympathy for yourself. Who will regret you and understand, except yourselves.