Lived were husband and wife. And before they became spouses, the guys read books on how to create a strong family and how to support it. And in the books they wrote that the most important thing is that the spouses have common interests. And also, so that they spend time together. Together engaged in household and children. In general ... do not spill the water "happily ever after."
And so, on Monday morning, when all the wedding events were over, they woke up and began to live together. Straight all together 24/7/365. It is still good that someone in these cases work in different places. And if in one place, then the covenants of books come to life with 100% efficiency. At first, a few months everything really goes well. Then it went very wrong, and then very bad. It turned out that not everyone, or even no one wants to live, as bequeathed in the book.
And the concept of "doing everything together" everyone understands in his own way. For many, “doing everything together” meant “doing as I want.” And if you don’t do as I want, then you don’t love me. After all, the book says that the spouses, if their family is doing well, should WANT to do everything together. Do you want to go to friends-girlfriends when I want to stay at home? What is the tag? Passed love? Let's go visit your friends? And they don’t like me. So let's not go.
And the further, the more. As a result, it turns out that each side imposes a lock on the actions of the spouse, because this is not what this side wants. Someone else's wishes are perceived as insults and rejection. This does not add a good relationship to the family.
Guys. The truth is written in the books. But nowhere is it written that the couple should do absolutely everything together and spend all the time with each other. People live with each other, not only because they have common interests and outlooks on life, but also because everyone has features that are different from each other. This is a kind of compensation for what is not in each of them. These parties enrich marriage and any relationship. If you bring your partner to absolute equality with yourself, then after some time you will realize that you live with yourself only your other self has a different gender and age. You will have anxiety if, above all else, I will have some other manifestations of my existence. You will get the impression that if you want ice cream, and the spouse is cake, then there was a terrible split in your "I" and now they will run away from you, abandon and forget. You will be jealous and wait for the trick.
Moreover, your partner will cease to be as interesting to you as you were before the wedding. What good is it if it is your copy? It's like talking to yourself. And in such circumstances, usually one of the spouses begins to project their problems and character traits on the other. Those. the person with whom you live will become that side of your "I" that you do not love and despise.
Spouses should be different and normal if they want something else. It is very important to spend part time together, and part separately. No need to stick together Siamese twins and take personal space from each other. Yes, we must give in, but we must also respect our interests. Satisfying relationships is one thing, but you need to satisfy your own needs in other areas. Without this, life would not be complete and happy.