Many women have the romantic idea that their relationships – and especially their love relationships – must always be happy and harmonious. In doing so, they forget or displace that the up and down of life is an essential part of their relationship life.
They may even feel it as a punishment or as an unjust fate, when it seems to go straight or even down again for a while after a high in love. In doing so, she supports her innate female "instinct nature", which helps them to integrate all positive and negative experiences into themselves and to withstand even difficult situations. Theoretically, anyway.
THE PARTNERSHIP LOVE IN THE CHANGE OF OUR LIFE
Let us think of the different phases of growth in nature. A Seed falls on fertile soil, germinates, grows, forming stems, leaves and flowers, and pulls back in the autumn and Winter to next spring again from the earth, to emerge and unfold in the upcoming cycle of Vegetation power.
Similar to nature, there are also stages of creation, growth, transgression and newness in love. We often find it difficult to withstand the decay of a love, because we often do not know whether the end of a partnership has come or whether it will continue.
Or whether it makes sense to stick to the relationship at all. Or whether we can believe in the continued existence of our partnership and therefore work on it. But what if the relationship is really dead or we have been hurt so much that we just don't want to go on?
Clarissa Pinkola-Estés wrote in her world bestseller "The Wolf woman" on this subject a narrative that is one of my favorite stories. You may seem, at first glance, perhaps a little creepy, because it tells of an unconditional love between a young fisherman and skeleton woman, he brings his love back to life. Here is a summary of the story:
NARRATIVE
A father pushes his daughter because of an offense from a cliff into the Arctic ocean. She's drowning and the fish nibble you completely, until only your skeleton remains. One day, a young fisherman walks into the country and goes to the bay for fishing. But it is not a huge fish, but the skeleton of the girl he pulls out of the water. He runs away, but the skeleton hangs on the fishing line and does not want to be shaken off. In his igloo, he falls into a deep sleep before exhaustion. As he wakes up, he discovers the skeleton pile lying next to him. After some hesitation, he arranges the woman's rib for half the night, then wraps himself in a warm coat and falls asleep again. While he's lying there dreaming, a bright tear runs across his cheek. The skeletal woman and creeps looks secretly to his side, bringing her mouth to his cheek, and drink the tear. Then the skeletal woman starts to drum and sing above the heart of the man on his chest with her cold bone hands. There, flesh and skin sit on their bones, hair, eyes, nose, ears, broad hips, big breasts, strong hands and many fat pads. She sings him the clothes from his body and crawls under his blanket. From this day on, they will stay together and suffer no more shortage, as they are fed with food by the Friends of the woman, the creatures of the water, until the end of their lives.
THE DEEPER MEANING
The core message of this tale, the in love is, because you need a lot of wisdom and acceptance of life-death-life nature of a relationship. This does not mean that someone has to die, but that relationships are subject to different cycles. We should be aware that permanent ties can often involve many small inevitable "deaths" and surprising "rebirths".
The unraveling of Bones is the work that is at stake in a relationship. It is only when the partners realize that passion is not something that one "gets", but something that comes in cycles that they understand that relationship work is worthwhile. And the fact that the skeletal woman sleeps with the fisherman symbolically stands for the fact that in the life of two people – even after difficult situations – love and devotion can always arise or persist.
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO RESPONSE?
Read my questions and see what feelings come up in you? Maybe you also like to write down your thoughts:
-At what point in your relationship are you right now?
- How realistic is your expectation of a relationship?
- Do you still dream of the fairy prince or did you realize that he is already there, even though at first glance he was not recognized as such?
- How do you see your role as a fairy Princess at the side of your partner? Are you doing it?
- Have you ever ended a relationship because you thought there would be no rebirth after the "death" of the relationship?
- Have you ever left a relationship too early and then regretted it?
- Are you in a relationship that is dead, but in which there is no more rebirth?
- Are you ready to collect, sort and revive bones for your relationship?
OVERCOMING OF THE DEAD POINT
The prerequisite for lasting love is the acceptance of an invisible third. The "skeleton woman" or "woman of death" is in the fairy tale, the symbolic embodiment of our life-death-life-nature. She accompanies us through life in different areas, not just in our relationship. Because if we have arrived at a dead point or lost confidence in the relationship, then we need the "skeletal woman". You must be invited, welcomed and embraced, so that love can return and be permanent. Then it is about spreading the" bones of our relationship " with much wisdom before us, to sort and finally to provide with new skin, flesh, muscles, hair and eyes. We are not always able to do this alone, but there are people who can accompany and support us.