A long time ago, when I was still in school, and when psychology began to come into everyday use in Russia, we were given a psychological test in the classroom. I think that many can even guess which test they gave us. It was a test for introversion / extraversion.
We answered the questions, then we decoded the results. But they didn’t just say that someone was an extrovert, but someone was an introvert. This was done with a certain "semantic load."
For example, it was reported with a joyful and lively face that extroverts are cool guys, they have a lot of friends, they are called to discos and birthdays, etc. In general, the type that everyone around likes. And “suitable professions” for extroverts were listed very groovy for perestroika time: businessman, pop star, logistics (at that time many wanted to be logistics, apparently the word sounded “cool”). And even a doctor should be an extrovert and only him.
But introverts ... here the face of the communicator somehow wither away at once ... they are also good guys. They like to read, collect stamps, they have few friends, they like to spend time alone, etc. Among the professions? An engineer, a gardener, a laboratory assistant, a forester ... Well, it seems like nothing bad was said about introverts. But it sounded like a description of a chronic disease. Like, there are people who are slightly flawed. But do not throw them away! To the forest, away from people, and let them go there with a gun. Or hide in a laboratory between test tubes.
I’m not talking about the horrors of “sovets education”, but about the general tendency to perceive introverts. It takes place not only in Russia, but also in all other countries where people apply psychology to life. The message of society is this: being an extrovert is good. You must have many friends. You should always be involved in some kind of movement. And if you don’t have it, then you are defective. In short ... if you want to achieve something in life, then you must be an extrovert. If you are an introvert, you will vegetate.
I think that there are thousands of introverts who are completely happy with their 2-3 friends, books, stamps, cats, music and enjoying loneliness. And what's wrong with that? A person is comfortable, calm, he does not tear the place from which his legs grow in order to become someone who he is not. But there are thousands of introverts for whom the fact of their own introversion is a trauma.
Introversion and extroversion are not absolute values. The degree of one and the other in each person may be different. Those. we can carry a different amount of introversion, some more, some less. In different situations, we can behave more or less introverted. For example, in the circle of friends, an introvert can behave quite relaxed, be sociable, cheerful and joke spontaneously. In other words, be the soul of the company. And in the new team, everything is not going so well.
Interestingly, those who are not so much tormented by their introversion are mostly tormented by it, but they want to completely eradicate it within themselves. Those. literally tear out all the roots and sprinkle the place with radioactive ash. In their understanding, introversion is a shameful weakness. She kills and robs happiness. Now, if she had not been at all, then life would have sparkled with bright colors.
How do people struggle with their introversion? They drag themselves to uncomfortable places and conditions on the lasso, kick themselves along the road, experience a lot of negative emotions ... and mess up. They get disproportionately little in relation to the invested efforts. Why? Because the brain does not tolerate such violence against itself and at a certain stage will begin to do everything to stop all mockery.
For example, a manager, a little Ivert, comes to improve his skills and is informed there that he is not socially active enough, positive, creative, and ... he needs to be more sociable. That's how many dating acquaintances got involved in studying in 3 days? Only 10? Think enough? But look at Vasya - he already met everyone in the group, in the building and in two neighboring residential buildings. Here is Vasya well done. And you are not very well done. And the “manager-slightly-introvert” begins to drag himself around the neighboring houses in order to catch up with Vasya. He begins to execute himself for weakness and lack of sociability, turning into a twitched neurotic who constantly looks around to see if there is a stranger around. If there is one, then you need to catch up and meet him. As a result, he begins to feel sick from all people, and even those contacts that were previously made easier become an impossible mission.
The fact is, guys, that extroversion is also not without sin and minuses. Yes, an extrovert gets to know each other faster and finds a common language with people. But human memory and attention are not unlimited. Those. smart Vasya can meet many, but not everyone can use contacts. Often those contacts that could be useful, but he can just forget. Sometimes, even using a notebook, a person is not able to figure out who to contact for what. There are people who can cope with this, but there are actually not many of them.
Extreme extrovert annoys people due to the fact that due to the speed of communication, it loses its essence. The impression of superficiality and frivolity remains. So an absolute and close to absolute extrovert, the one who has very little introversion, is far from the most productive and desirable person.
The best option is a moderate manifestation of extraversion. When people communicate, get to know each other, but do it without crazy jumps. This is especially good if introversion is present in a person. Yes, acquaintance will go slower, friends will “work out” for a long time, but the quality of connections is growing, they are becoming stronger and longer.
In general, this system of measuring people - extroversion and introversion, must be treated in the same way as we relate to the division into “smart and beautiful”. Those. there are so many other aspects of personality that can change the picture. For example, to succeed in society, more social skills are needed than the focus of mental processes. In these cases, an introvert with good social skills will be more advantageous in the career of the same manager than an extrovert without them. And this is only one factor.
However, it is worth keeping in mind that if you see an introvert in yourself, then you need to give yourself time to get closer to others, to get used to the company, to a new place of work. Introverts are very quickly overloaded with a large flow of information, because they “digest” it internally, while extroverts reflect much less about external stimuli.
Introverts and extroverts in various ways come to the conclusion that friendship with a particular person did not take place. Introverts often for a long time assimilate the "personality" of their new acquaintance, and then come to the conclusion that he is not suitable for communication. During this same time, the extrovert also comes to the conclusion that the opponent is "some kind of wrong one" and leave him. But he does not delve into understanding the reasons for what is wrong with the opponent. Nevertheless, the outcome of the “failed friendship” is the same.
Those. introversion and extroversion is still primarily a way of reacting to life, a way of processing information. Neither one is an absolute advantage in life. These are only approaches and ways to achieve some goals.