If there is a discord in the family, then you can always save the relationship. True, there is one necessary condition: both parties must participate in salvation.
But there are situations that make all efforts inconclusive:
- One of the partners, or both just want to cut out of life and forget everything that was wrong in their relationship. Start from scratch. Now, let's imagine that there was nothing. Right now, let's go home and live like after a wedding. Immediately we will respect each other and be satisfied with the relationship. Did someone act wrong? Will act right now. We will not correct errors, we will not seek compromises. Not surprisingly, after some time, everything pops up again in the same form as it was before working with a consultant, and even worse.
- One of the partners has already decided everything and does not want to save any relationship. Why go to a consultant? Show the other side that he, in principle, is not a villain and is moving towards. But nothing will work and nothing will help. Naturally, he, at least, does not make much effort to change something, or even, in general, sabotages it. Moreover, he is trying to manipulate his partner. He interprets each step in such a way that the second half is to blame for everything. He relieves himself of responsibility for what is happening and appoints a partner to blame for everything.
- One partner expects only one outcome: the other side should crawl on his knees, repent and pray. And so on until the end of life. And then, if the magnanimous permits to kiss his feet. Naturally, not everyone agrees on such an outcome of events and this seriously undermines any reconciliation.
- One of the partners is happy with everything; he does not want to change anything. He, in general, does not understand what his second half needs. What does a consultant expect? So that the brains of the other are corrected and everything goes as before. The other half, not meeting cooperation, also refuses any efforts to change things.
- One of the partners wants to change everything in the most correct way. Which "image" is correct? This is what he wants for himself. Accordingly, what the other side wants for itself is wrong and unfair. He, in general, is outraged that someone else wants something here.
- People do not know why they came to consult. They have no ideas what they want to see at the end of therapy, and, in general, they don’t know what is wrong with the family. It's just that something is somehow not high. For this reason, it is extremely difficult to make some kind of “high”. People don’t know what they will like.
So, it would be great if people, nevertheless, would have some idea what they want, how they need to improve their relationship. And you need to be prepared to build a dialogue with a partner and not expect that your opinion is the most correct. If something in the family goes wrong, then both are responsible.