The way a child begins to look from the age of 9, and what things he is attracted to, often scares his parents and at that moment they wonder - what to do?
Mom worries that things appear in her daughter’s wardrobe, more and more distancing her from a sweet and obedient girl. And boys are increasingly striving to be like rappers, gopnik, beloved bloggers trying on not only clothes of close subcultures, but also adopting all the attributes - manners, way of thinking, hobbies. Actually, what is happening and how to relate to it?
Well, firstly, relax and watch, responding in time to their questions. Delicately expressing one’s opinion, asking explanatory questions - why so? But always (from the word always!) Leaving the right to choose for the child. The fact is that as a teenager develops an image of “I”, his own addictions appear. This is a series of stages of growing up, which it is important for him to go through to form his image. And this is not just normal, but also necessary. So our children go the way to their independence and uniqueness. Addictions are based on the external affiliation of themselves with their idols, among which are musicians, bloggers, athletes, friends.
At 10-12 years old, they copy their image. For them, external attributes and fashion become important - clothes, hairstyle, manner of tucking in a shirt, combining things in a certain way, wearing sneakers with a bare ankle, and posing. This is the stage when adolescents want to belong to a specific group, united by a single hobby. They need to feel part of something important, repeating and copying. Up to this age, children, by the way, also copied. Only their examples were parents, older brothers, sisters. Therefore, everything was clear and safe.
For 14-16 year olds, it becomes important to protest, their images reflect intolerance, irony, wit. Hence the serious plans to get piercings, tattoos, dye her hair pink and radically change the haircut. Become fun and (already) different. This stage pushes the teenager to bold experiments with appearance, through mistakes, including. The need to try different images is associated with self-knowledge from different angles, which is important for the formation of style.
And if the parent provides the right support, then closer to the age of 18-20 this whole trash begins to take on the features of an individual image. The image calms down and evens out. Around this age, a grown up person already knows where to go to study, what profession to master. He forms an understandable circle of friends and hobbies, which helps to form an appropriate image based on life and professional plans. Well, the main question that I am often asked is how to instill a sense of taste in them and correctly guide them while the children are experimenting?
And you know, I know only one method - by my own example. Without expectations, of course, that the daughter will take off her ripped jeans and put on a decent dress. An example is more about attitude to oneself, appearance - nutrition, attention to the body and one’s health, ability to look good or bad, silhouette lines, proportions, color combinations. Everything that forms the image. This is exactly what is adopted over time. And when parents manage to build a trusting and calm relationship with the child, then everything gets better. It just comes time, after a series of experiments.
In the meantime, relax, watch, engage in yourself, your favorite thing, responding in time to the questions of the closest and protesting man. He (she) will appreciate.