Very often people complain that they cannot find friends or a partner. Everything seems to be good, and they are good people, but they don’t like them. In fact, even the best people can have a stereotype of behavior that characterizes them as “toxic people.” For this reason, they try to avoid them.
Here are their characteristics:
1. They are constantly envious of everyone who, from their point of view, has something better than them. They like to talk about it with others, gossip, and give negative and caustic characteristics. They constantly compare themselves with others, both in the good and the bad side. The life of others excites them very much, and sometimes they are completely immersed in what is happening with colleagues, friends, neighbors, stars, etc.
2. Everyone in life is perceived too personally. All troubles only happen to them. Everyone who says something or laughs at something must do evil to them and mean them. Because of this, they are offended and this makes others feel guilty, apologize or make excuses that nothing bad or personal was said. In general, they like to dramatize everything that happens around and with them. From any not very pleasant event can create a drama. Some cry, others try to arouse guilty feelings on the part of the opponent, while others are ready to take revenge for death on a household trifle. They like to keep an “account" in a relationship. How much others gave, and how much they need to return. The main thing is not to give too much “good”, and “bad” can be given with a margin.
3. Accumulate pain, resentment and loss. They concentrate them in themselves and constantly talk about it. In general, they have negative thinking, and turn even the positive side into the bad.
4. Lack of emotional control and a categorical refusal to do something about it. “I am a nervous person, I can throw a tantrum or give it to the eye. This is my personality and I will not change myself. ”
5. Have a fairly low empathy. Some of them are too immersed in their suffering or negativity. Others believe that the feelings of others mean little. For this reason, moral standards are often violated. They do it for no particular reason, simply because they can do it.
6. They require others to be constantly supported and assured of their exclusivity. If others refuse to do this or do it insufficiently, they are offended, angry.
7. Love to keep "hostages" in a relationship. If you don’t do me well, then I will fall ill and die. And everything will be on your conscience. Or did you do me a bad thing, now pay for the rest of your life.
Of course, each person can have a difficult period when they need support and protection. But when the crisis ends, they again behave as before. “Toxic people” behave like this always. The fact is that many of them consider this behavior to be the norm. So it was in their family, which means that this is the usual relationship between friends, relatives, and in general with everyone who meets on the path of life. For many, it’s even useful to know that this behavior of others can be annoying and you need to behave differently, and you can express your needs in other ways.
And once again I emphasize that "toxic people" are not villains. They simply do not know how to cope with their problems in a different way, and they cannot interact with others in other ways. However, it is quite possible to learn this.